


Caleb Prior's Choices

by I_Shouldnt_Be_Here (orphan_account)



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Dorks, Friendship, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Meant To Be, Oh God Yes, Opposites Attract, Problems, Some Humor, Weird Fluff, Weirdness, What Have I Done, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7732696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/I_Shouldnt_Be_Here
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Divergent fandom knows him as Tris's brother. The background story of Caleb Prior, which includes the decisions he made in the name of Faction Before Blood. It's a brutal principle and nobody knows it better than Caleb. The choice of working with Jeanine or against her. The choice of betraying Tris or not. The choice of going against his own morals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** A/n- This is my first fanfic. **

** Disclaimer- The awesome but loves-to-kill-awesome-characters Veronica Roth owns the story. **

** Caleb's POV **

** 1 month before the Aptitude Test **

I sit in front of the mirror. My father stands before me with the scissors in his hand. It is time for my monthly haircut, Abnegation-style, 1- inch length. I stare at myself in the mirror, fascinated by my reflection but pretending not to be. I see dark brown hair, a long face, a straight nose and a pair of green eyes. It is Beatrice's turn now, her haircut is done by mom. I sit passively on the worn armchair beside the window overlooking the street and our cookie-cutter neighbourhood, each house exactly the same and nothing to signify them as lived in. I glance over at Beatrice and notice that she also stares at her reflection for longer than required. Sometimes I think that we are polar opposites. We look nothing alike, nothing to put us together as brother and sister. I inherited mom's green eyes and dad's dark hair. She inherited mom's blonde hair and dad's blue eyes. I was thinking along the lines of genetics when mom shut down the panelled mirror, or was trying to.

"Mom, the panel's jammed." says my sister, pointing out the fact instead of bandaging mom's bleeding fingers, which were caught between the panel and the sliding rails. Huh, she needs to learn.

"Beatrice, why don't you help mom while I take a look at the panel", I say with a reprimanding glance. She nods and agrees quietly.

"Dad, give me a Phillip head screwdriver, I'll bring a flashlight"

I go to my bedroom, searching for a flashlight. I find it in my desk drawer. I go down the stairs while dad walks in with a screwdriver. The mirror panel cavity is pretty deep. I look between the rails and find a small piece of thick black fabric. We don't own anything black, if we did, dad would throw it out. I tighten the screws and apply some oil to the rolling wheels. I pull the fabric out and throw it away. It's not my task to ask questions.

"Mom, are you alright?" I ask out of sheer habit. Her face is as cool and calm as the sea. Mom, ever the selfless woman, assures me that she is fine.

Okay, that was enough adventure for a week. I make my way to my room and close the door, ever afraid of someone walking in. I pull out my advanced cellular biology book which was hidden between the bedpost and the wall. Finals are in a week and I need to study. You may be wondering how an Abnegation person like me got his hands on an advanced cellular biology book. Well, a few good hours of volunteering at the Erudite library and the kind librarian lets you borrow books off the record. I gear myself up and begin to study the chapter on animal cells.

** Tell me what you think. This story is parallel to the main plot in Divergent but is mostly from Caleb's POV. (Although Susan and some others may make appearances) **

** Good day **

** TheVibrantNight **


	2. To Debate Or Not To DEbate

** Caleb's POV **

**Two days before finals week**

I wake up in my bedroom staring at the blank grey walls and ceiling. Usually I wake up half an hour before the alarm clock. I shut the alarm clock down. I grab an Agatha Christie book from my hiding place. I deliberately chose that book so that I do not fall asleep again. At 7.30 am, I go down to the dining table, where a bowl of plain oatmeal awaits me.

Back at the dining table, it is the same old routine for the last ten years of my life. Dad reads the newspaper while occasionally looking out of the window into the same dreary street. Beatrice walks in with her worn out powder grey school bag. I look around and make the same observation I make every morning. Every object around me is grey, colourless, and lifeless. Dad would probably call me a faction traitor for thinking all of this. I finish my oatmeal and wear my shoes. Beatrice walks with me towards the door and impulsively I throw my arms around mom in a hug. She isn't surprised; instead she reciprocates with a smile and tells me to have a good day.

Outside the door, Susan and Robert Black greet me with an Abnegation bow. I bow down and give her a half-smile. She gives me a full smile in return. I know that my actions are being watched and dissected by my sister and Susan's brother; so I ask Susan, "How is the soup kitchen volunteering going?"

"It's going fine, thank you Caleb." replies Susan.

Why are adjectives other than 'fine' not spoken in Abnegation? 'Fine' is the vaguest answer you can get and it is never enough.

Robert and Beatrice walk ahead; Susan asks me if we would like to go to school in her dad's car. I politely decline the offer. I look around to see that nobody's spying on us. Satisfied, I extend my hand forward and hold Susan's hand. I give a winning smile and her eyes go wide as saucers. She is too shocked to respond.

I still don't know what to do with Susan. She is way too Abnegation and way too polite. I have got feelings for her but I can't decide whether they are brotherly or otherwise. If I fall in love with her, it would be the thing that mom, dad, Beatrice and everyone expect but I love the unexpected. I'm pretty sure that mom has my life mapped out for me. It goes like this- Stay in Abnegation, marry Susan, have a couple of children and stay happy. Will I be able to stay happy in this dreary, grey faction?

Stop, Caleb Prior, you are thinking way too selfish. You should do the thing that mom wants for you. Wait, is this my purely Abnegation alter-ego speaking? Why am I speaking to myself? These questions will never have answers and I don't like not getting answers.

We arrive in the Upper Levels building, one of the oldest buildings in the city. People of all factions are filing into the school. I discreetly watch the Erudite as they come in. Beatrice watches the Dauntless.

Dad says that the Erudite are vain, selfish and stuck-up people. They always spread lies about the Abnegation. The day dad said this, I couldn't believe my ears. Dad never said a bad word to anyone.

We part ways, I have Math and Beatrice has English. I don't remember Susan's or Robert's schedule. Math is taught by an old Erudite professor. All of the teachers in Upper Levels are Erudite. Some Amity members teach in the Lower Levels. I make my way to my seat in the corner. I don't Know why the Abnegation always try to blend in the background, just like the greyish background in an Amity abstract painting. The other factions hold Abnegation in a very low regard. I listen to the old professor carefully and I see an Amity girl looking for something. "Do you need anything?" I ask in a quiet voice.

"Yes, my pencil seems to have gone for a tour around the city." says the Amity girl.

Very out of character for me but I smile a real smile at the Amity girl. No one cracks jokes in my faction. I pass her my extra pencil kept in my bag. She thanks me and I go back to listening and doing my work.

The last period of the day is chemistry. Too bad all the Abnegation except me do not use the chemistry lab. An Erudite guy comes into the class and announces, "All of you who are interested in a debate about different faction principles can give your names to me and come to the hall tomorrow morning."

This is a really good opportunity; I may be able to lay to rest all the rumours about Abnegation and secret warehouses. The plan may backfire but I am up for it. I was expecting a couple of other members from my faction but nobody got up. I got up to give my name and an Erudite called out:

"Hey there, Stiff, do you want to do some volunteering? You could circulate some water and stationery during the debate."

My courage got crumbled with this comment. I went to seat and sit there, silently seething at the Erudite guy. Maybe next time I should gather an entire team of Abnegation who are willing to participate.

The day ended like this. I wonder why the members of my faction don't speak up at least once. I walk towards the door and meet Beatrice.

"Hey Beatrice, did an Erudite guy come to your class to announce a debate?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" says my sister.

"Nothing, I was just wondering."

We walk towards home and pass the Lower Levels building. School disperses an hour early there but I see a little girl still standing outside the main gate.

"Let's see what is going on there.", I say to Beatrice.

The little girl stands there with a brave face. Most children would be in tears. She wears a green tee shirt, not adhering to any faction rules. I envy little children sometimes for having so much freedom.

"What is your name?" I ask with a smile.

"My name is Aria Grace and I study in Mrs. Smith's class." the girl recites.

"Okay Aria, why aren't you home?"

"My friend was suppo... sup... to pick me up."

"The word is supposed, Aria."

"Come with us, we'll drop you home but where do you live?"

"I don't know the address but I'll show you the way" she says, bouncing happily.

Aria leads me and Beatrice towards the Erudite sector. Like all children, she can't keep her mouth closed.

"You didn't tell me your name and your sister's name."

"I am Caleb Prior and this is my sister Beatrice Prior."

"Hey Caleb, do you know that I am also going to have a little brother. He is inside mom's belly."

"Great, do you call him by any name?"

"Mom hasn't given a name to him but I call him Tyler because he moves around in mom's belly like a little Tyler"

I smile at her innocence. She jumps around in a way that an Abnegation child would never be allowed to. We reach the Erudite sector.

"Now, which home is yours?"

"That one, with the number 2007."

I ring the bell and a very worried woman opens the door. She hugs Aria tight and looks at me.

"May I ask who you are?" says the lady.

"I am Caleb and this is my sister Beatrice."

"Thank you so much for bringing my daughter home. I am Cadence Grace."

I shake the lady's hand and Aria points out to me,

"Here is my little Tyler." says she with a big smile.

I give an equally big smile to Aria and Mrs. Grace.

"We should be going home now."

"Okay dear, I'll tell Aria to ask you whenever her friend doesn't pick her up.'

"Okay Mrs. Grace and thank you." I say and go outside the door.

"That girl is cute, isn't she?" asks Beatrice.

"Yes, she sure is" I reply and walk forward.

We reach home and an equally worried mom opens the door.

"Why are you two so late?"

"We had to drop a little girl home" both of us say at the same time.

"Okay, eat your lunch now, I made it for you.

We finish our lunch and go to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Washing dishes is hated by Beatrice. She'd rather mop the floor than do the dishes. We quietly finish doing the dishes and get out of the kitchen. I go to my room and close the door. As I sit down on my desk, I think about Aria, her freedom and her innocence. Would I be different if I was born in a different faction? I realise I would be. The faction mindset is ingrained in our heads by our parents and our surroundings. With these revelations, i open my English book and begin to study.


	3. The Aptitude Test

** Disclaimer: Veronica Roth owns the awesome story known as Divergent. **

Caleb's POV

** The Aptitude Test **

Today is the big day. My head gets a killer headache whenever I think about the Aptitude Test. I wasn't this nervous even in my final exams. They went well and I had scored good marks, marks better than Beatrice. It has been drilled into my head that we have a right to choose whatever faction we want to but the Aptitude Test is a way to show us in which faction we will be able to fit in the most. These Tests also show us whether we would be able to survive the initiation of a particular faction.

At the dining table, only mom stands there. I ask her,

"Were you afraid of the Aptitude Test?"

"I was terrified", she replies with a smile.

"Which faction did you have an aptitude for? Did the Test influence your decision to choose the faction in which you are in?" I blather like a toddler who can't keep his mouth shut. I mentally slap myself and look at mom with a blank and helpless expression.

"You will understand it all when you go through it. I am not supposed to share my experiences." Mom says with a kind smile.

Beatrice comes in with her school bag. This may be our penultimate day together or the beginning of a whole life together in Abnegation. Again, the question of living in this faction comes to my mind. It is a dilemma as I don't want to leave mom and dad but I do not want to stay in this faction. It is a matter of choosing which is better for me.

Why does my mind keep wandering to the selfish side of most things? I go and give Beatrice a big hug and a smile.

"What was that for?" says my dear sister with a half-smile.

"Nothing, just wanted to hug you"

I go and give mom a big hug. She reciprocates immediately. Dad sits beside the window, reading the newspaper. I go and give him a hug too. Dad reciprocates with a smile.

"Thank you son, do not worry about the Aptitude Test, I'm sure your mind will get cleared after you give the test."

The events in my home can get pretty un-Abnegation. I was the cause of it this time. Mom takes me and Beatrice into the kitchen and says,

"No matter what you choose, you both will still be my dear and cherished children."

Was she expecting someone to leave? Beatrice must have thought this to be a strategy designed to keep us in Abnegation. I interpreted mom's somewhat cryptic message a bit differently. It was like she almost expecting us to leave and at the same time wasn't. I guess mom knows more about me than I thought before.

We get out of the kitchen. Beatrice and I walk outside the door and into the cracked, patchy road with some broken streetlights. Why does the Abnegation refuse development in the name of selflessness? I had seen the offices where they keep their records and the computers there were millennia old. Should we entrust so much information about the city, some of it critical, in the hands of such poorly developed record-keeping services?

Susan and Robert didn't come today. I wanted to look at Susan for a last time. Everything seems pretty final today. Anyway, we walk towards the school and part ways. I make my way towards Advanced Math.

A last-day craze has gripped the entire Upper Levels building. There are people acting crazy, people acting confused, others acting helpful, helping the ones caught in the last day exhilaration. The key word here is acting. Everyone acts, and is acting to hide the real people they are. Even me, I have been acting for so many years to hide the real me. For so many years I pretended to be the perfect Abnegation citizen I wasn't. After sixteen years, it seems like such a chore, a chore I would not be able to do for the rest of my life.

The periods today are divided in half. The rest of the day will be used to conduct the Aptitude Test. The last period, Faction history ends and I go to the cafeteria. I sit there and read an action-packed novel, featuring an alliance between the Dauntless and the Erudite. The administrator calls out ten names and each room has a member of a particular faction in it. The rules are that no faction dependent can be tested by a member of the same faction as the given candidate.

I observe all the faction dependents around me. The Erudite are buried in their books as always, making a show of reading their books. The Amity, kind as ever are joking, laughing, playing a weird hand-holding game and passing around food. The Candor are dressed in black and white, engaged in a lively but not-so-serious debate. I can catch a few glimpses of smiles and suppressed laughs. The Dauntless are reckless, filled with a wild and a symbolic fire-like energy that cannot be contained. They are climbing onto tables, throwing food around. Finally, I look around at the members of my own faction sitting passively in a sea of grey. They just sit around and do nothing until their inner selfless-meter beeps. They engage in polite small talk and nothing else. I patiently wait for my turn but nobody knows that I am observing everyone around me unlike the ignorant Abnegation.

Wait, did I call the members of my faction ignorant? I really need to put a filter on my thoughts. My train of thought is jerked apart from the tracks when an administrator calls out-

"Caleb Prior, Abnegation dependent"

I gather my courage and walk into room number two. An Erudite lady is conducting my test. I look around inside the small room. The walls of the room are made with mirrors. There is a hard plastic chair in the centre of the room and the right wall has a computer, a keyboard with a lot of knobs and buttons on it and there are a couple of pairs of electrodes attached to the computer. The computer is kept on a portable trolley stand.

An Erudite lady waits for me inside the room. She has a kind look on her face which is unlike the condescending look on most of the Erudite people. She wears a blue shirt and a pair of white well-tailored trousers. Her warm brown eyes radiate kindness and good humour which is again unlike Erudite cold eyes. She greets me and says,

"Hello Caleb, I am Aster McKenzie and I am going to conduct your Aptitude Test. Let me tell you how this system works. The electrodes here will be attached to your brain and they will stimulate parts of your frontal lobe which is involved in planning and reasoning. They will also stimulate your parietal lobe which collects visual information and helps in making decisions. The serum that is administered contains wireless neurotransmitters and these will send the data received from your brain into the computer."

I stand there, absorbing every bit of information the lady provides. She hooks up the electrodes into the computer and connects those to my forehead. She gives me a vial of clear serum and tells me to drink it. I drink the serum without question but I can't help but wonder how it works. She instructs me to sit on the chair and take a deep breath. I direct my eyes towards the computer. A long programme is written on it and I can't make out what's written. The computer screen is the last thing I see before the simulation pulls me under.

I stand in the school cafeteria but the tables are empty. I evaluate my surroundings and see that the room is made with glass walls. On the table in front of me are two choices and they are... a piece of cheese and a knife? A familiar but faceless voice says, "Choose"

Make sense of the situation, Caleb. What have you got to lose? I walk forward and say loudly,

"Hey there, faceless and nameless voice, I refuse to choose!"

"Okay smart aleck, face the next level." The voice says.

I hear the cafeteria door squeak; a man clothed in black comes in from behind and clutches my neck, almost strangling me. He drags me near a table and says,

"This is your last day; you won't live another one to choose a faction."

I force my mind to think. The man is definitely stronger than me. I look around myself and find a bottle of mustard kept on the cafe table. I reach my hand out slowly and grab the bottle discreetly. I wait for a moment and squirt the mustard in his eyes. Mustard burns and it burns hard. The man's hands leave my throat and he shouts,

"You will pay for this, Caleb Prior!"

Okay, Caleb Prior: one, Mystery man: zero. The programme drags me to the next simulation.

The next simulation features me standing in a school corridor. I stay there and witness a quarrel between a Candor and an Erudite. The Erudite begins with a loquacious argument and I only catch the last part of it.

"...and this is why I accuse the Candor person of plagiarism."

The Candor says in defence of his argument-"I didn't copy your _'magnum opus'_. I can assure you that my work is genuine."

I do not try to break up the argument. I didn't hear the whole of it and I might support the wrong side by only listening to half of the story. I know that the Candor speak the truth but it is not wise to judge on the basis of half-said stories. Finally both of them part ways and shoot angry looks at each other. The argument remains unresolved.

I am standing in the public bus. All the seats are occupied. I stand inside the bus like all the other Abnegation. A man reading a newspaper glances over to me. The newspaper has the following headline: 'Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!' I don't pay much attention to the headline. It is the man's face that catches my attention. He has a big scar on his cheek and his hands are scarred and burnt. He asks me,

"Do you know this guy?" he points to the picture on the newspaper.

I don't know why but the picture seems really familiar to me. The paper has a picture of a man with plain features and a beard. It must be the simulation playing tricks on my mind. The man's cruel face tells me that if I answer his questions affirmatively, I would be in a lot of trouble. So I decide to fall for this trick.

"I do not know what this picture means." I say with feigned conviction.

"You are telling lies. I know that you know about this man. You could save my life!" The man says the last sentence with a touch of anger and desperation.

"I still do not know what you are talking about." I say this with a smirk and confidence I didn't have earlier.

The simulation ends. I open my eyes, sit up and look for finger-shaped bruises on my neck. I don't find any. Those choices I had to make were really traumatising. Now I can understand why mom was terrified and didn't want to share her experiences.

Aster looks at me with a congratulatory expression. She says,

"Well done, Caleb. Your test results are Erudite." She proceeds to explain how I got an Erudite result.

"The test proceeds in a way as to eliminate unsuitable factions and indicate the most suitable for the given candidate. In your case, the test began with a choice between cheese and a knife. If you chose the cheese, the sim would have led you to an Amity situation. If you chose vice versa, the sim would have led you to a Dauntless situation. You chose neither, so the sim led you to the situations of the other three factions. The second scene was the man grabbing your throat. You made sense of your surroundings and squirted mustard into his eyes. The third scene was the quarrel. Your way of thinking is Erudite as they have a tendency to gather facts and then give their opinion. You didn't try to end the quarrel as you tried to collect the facts. The fourth scene tested your honesty but you thought of the man as a threat and denied his claims. Don't worry Caleb, only the Candor tell the truth in that situation."

Aster takes in a deep breath after giving such a long speech. Erudite? How could I get an Erudite result? The result is the curviest curve ball ever thrown at me. Why am I not having a panic attack right now? Well, my Erudite aptitude cannot be changed right now. I think about all the work that I use to do in secret. All those extra credit classes I take in the name of volunteering. All those books I borrow from the library, again in the name of volunteering. Sneaking into the laboratories for 'cleaning the equipment'. I never had an Abnegation bone in myself. I acted selfless to fool others around me. There is nothing wrong there, is it?

I try to push all of these confusing thoughts out of my head but I can't. I cannot see Beatrice anywhere. She walked into room number 6 at the same time. I glance around the hall. Almost all of the dependents are done with their tests. She must be outside the main gate.

I search for Beatrice and don't see her anywhere. She must have gone home. Though I thought that she would wait for me. Susan and Robert greet with a head-down bow.

"How did your Aptitude Tests go?" I ask Susan and Robert.

"They went fine." Susan says.

"They went fine but I am not allowed to talk about my test or my results." says Robert.

I make a guess at their results. I am not sure about Robert but I am sure that Susan would have gotten a textbook Abnegation result.

"Have you seen Beatrice around?"

"No, I didn't, why do you ask?" replies Susan.

"Even I didn't see her around." replies Robert.

"She must have gotten home already."

We walk outside the gates and into the main road. The bus arrives in time. I stand inside the bus, not caring to make a show of giving up my seat to someone. I get paranoid and look around to check that no man with a scarred face has got inside the bus. Slowly the people trickle out of the bus and the Abnegation are left in it. We get down at the Abnegation bus stop and joke around a little. Beatrice isn't here to lighten the 'test mood' with some of her sarcasm. I would have appreciated that today, instead of disapproving of her behaviour. I walk the short way home with Susan and Robert. At home I see Beatrice standing at the door. It was very uncharacteristic of her to not wait for us.

"Beatrice! What happened? Are you alright?" I ask her.

"I'm fine. When the test got over, I got sick. Must have been that liquid they gave us."

She says all of this while biting the inside of her cheek. It is a tell of hers. I narrow my eyes and look at her, suspecting that something has gone awry.

"We should let you go. All of us have some serious thinking to do." I say. This statement couldn't be truer for me.

"You're welcome to come over later if you like." I say nervously. It is necessary to mention the 'if' condition for Susan. If I do not, then she would feel like as if coming over to my house is a duty. I wouldn't like our friendship to be a duty.

"Thank you." She replies with a slight smile but she doesn't give a definite reply. I stand there in a nervous daze. Beatrice grabs my arm and wakes me up. She pulls me inside the house.

"Will you tell me the truth now?" I ask.

"You are not supposed to ask the truth about my test." She replies.

"All the rules you bend and you can't bend this one?" I say in a somewhat accusatory tone but I want the answer so I don't get defensive as to make her shrink away. She answers my question with a counter-question.

"What happened in your test, Caleb?" She prods me for a reply.

My test results cannot be revealed. That is highly classified information. I suppress my need to get answers. I would get them tomorrow morning. My eyes soften in understanding and so do hers.

"Just... don't tell our parents what happened, okay?"

Dinner-time comes and I help Beatrice make the dinner. We work together like a well-oiled machine, no need to exchange words because we done this thousands of times before.

My parents come home and the table is set. Dad comes in and kisses Beatrice's forehead. He comes in and gives me a hug. Dad and I always had a close relationship over the algebra we did together and the newspaper reports we discussed together.

"How did the tests go?" Dad asks.

"Fine" we say at the same time.

"I heard that there were some problems in the Aptitude tests. I didn't catch all of it but apparently a student got sick and was sent home. Did you hear any of it?" mom says.

"No, mom" I reply with a smile. I decide to save Beatrice just for once. She owes me.

Dinner begins and dad passes the food to the right after serving himself. No one eats until everyone is served.

"So," mom says, "tell me what's wrong."

"I had a difficult day. Actually Marcus had one but it influenced all of us."

"Is this about the reports that Jeanine Matthews released?" mom says.

My family seems to have a grudge against her. I see nothing wrong in releasing a report. The Abnegation need to learn to accept criticism. Beatrice asks,

"What report, dad?" Mom and I shoot her reprimanding looks at the same time, although mom's look is kinder but it reaches out to you like a baton wrapped in silk. She needs to keep her mouth shut. It's better to keep your thoughts inside your head where nobody can see them.

"Jeanine released a report about Marcus. It mentioned the cruelty of Marcus towards his son Tobias and his deceased wife Evelyn. It also said that Tobias chose Dauntless to escape his father's 'brutality'." He says 'brutality' with added inflection.

"Cruel? Marcus? As if somebody was pouring acid over his wounds" Mom says.

I had never met Tobias. His and my volunteering schedules never overlapped. He never attended any social function. He must have stayed completely invisible and off the radar.

The dinner ends. It is Beatrice's turn to wash the dishes but I help her like always. Mom and dad depart to their bedroom. I decide to give her some valuable advice.

"We should think of our family but we should also think of ourselves."

This is true. Whatever she chooses tomorrow, everyone will get over it except her. If I am seeing her for the last time today, I want these to be the final words exchanged between us.

"The tests don't have to change our choices."

"Don't they, though?" I reply and squeeze her shoulder. My heart is filled with too much sadness; I won't be able to give her a hug. I leave her to make her choice while I go up in my room to make mine. I lie down on my bed and stare at my books. I switch off the light and try to sleep but it evades me.


	4. The Choosing Ceremony

** The Choosing Ceremony **

** Caleb's POV **

_I stand in front of the five choosing bowls. They hold the substances which symbolise each faction. They are arranged alphabetically, beginning with plain grey stones for Abnegation, damp earth for Amity, broken glass shards for Candor, lit coals for Dauntless and water for Erudite. The deep, resonating voice of the unknown announcer calls,_

" _Caleb Prior, Abnegation"_

_I make my way to the five bowls kept in front of me. Mom and dad look at me with a hopeful look but mom's is more detached. As if this could be the ultimate act of selflessness or she just doesn't care that her son is leaving her. I stand in front of the five bowls. The assistant hands me a knife and I begin to cut my hand. Blood oozes out of the cut in my palm and I am going to drop the blood into one of the five bowls when the voices of mom, dad, Beatrice and others scream loud inside my head._

" _My son is a faction traitor!" Dad says with a scoff on his face._

" _I didn't expect my own son to leave me." Mom says with a disappointed look._

" _I didn't believe that my own brother, the one whom I looked up to for so many years is leaving me. All your selflessness was an act and a very good one at that." Beatrice looks at me disbelievingly._

" _Goodbye, Caleb and may we never meet again." Susan says with a heartbroken but sadistic expression._

" _I cannot believe that one of Abnegation's most ideal citizens is leaving us. Just like my traitor son Tobias." Marcus Eaton says._

_Stop it, will you? I still didn't choose a faction! I shout at the voices inside my head._

I wake up clutching my head. That nightmare was one of my worst. My hands and the back of my neck are sweaty and my heart is in overdrive. I try to take a deep breath but my throat is parched and choked up. I must have been speaking in my sleep. I stand up and switch the light on. I walk around in my room and decide to have a glass of water. I tiptoe to the dining room, not wanting to wake mom or dad.

I fill the transparent plastic glass with water. I raise the glass to my mouth and gulp the water down. I fill up another glass but my thirst is quenched. I stare at the water, mesmerised by its beauty. Such an ordinary liquid but its fluid transparency entrances me. I shake my head and wake myself out of my poetic mood. My first poetic line and I decided to say about water. I almost scoff at myself.

I walk back to my room and think about my nightmare. All these doubts which I lived with for all these years got personified and visualised today. I remember when I was younger I used to think too much about what others thought about me. Now I don't worry about other people too much because I know that whatever I do, I won't be able to please all the people around me.

The fears I have of my family cutting off all ties with me paralyses me. I think about dad and his stern, selfless, opinionated self. The way his eyes lit up when I solved a difficult math problem. I think about mom and her kind smile, good humour and her really valuable motherly advice. I think about Beatrice and her not-so-selfless self, her ability to make people laugh by her humorous sarcasm. I contemplate about her test results. I am sure that she hasn't gotten an Abnegation result. I can't put my finger down on her exact result. Wild guesses are useless in the case of Beatrice's unpredictable attitude. Her behaviour can't be put down to one faction.

I walk to my room and look out of the window. The identical grey houses seem ghostly, almost unreal. Far away, I see one house with a potted rose plant on the kitchen windowsill. I wonder whose rebel rose plant is that. The coral rose bush stands out in the night, probably the only thing which has colour except the night sky. I look at the night sky, all black like the Dauntless. Abnegation would even make the sky grey if they knew how to do that.

I wear my watch, creep to the main door slowly and make my way outside the house. Dad would kill me in the morning but I really need to get out of that stifling room. I think this is the first time I have snuck out of the house. Beatrice did this a few times but one day I said this to mom. She didn't sneak out after that incident.

I become hyperaware of my surroundings due to the night and the probability of my parents catching me red-handed. I look around my surroundings, the ghostly atmosphere suddenly seeming more real than from my bedroom window. I walk outside the front gate and into the cracked road, careful not to slip and make a noise. I walk down the road and go to the edge of the factionless encampment where a lone, cracked light bulb announces its presence in the darkness. I say 'encampment' because the factionless do not have proper houses. They live on the edge of society and at the bottom of the social ladder.

I remember the days on which I volunteered there with either mom or Susan. The Abnegation provide some supplies to the factionless but that isn't enough. The sight of malnourished children and adults alike is a common sight in the factionless sector. I think why the Erudite can't solve this problem. They are supposed to be the most intelligent people but they do not know where to apply their knowledge. They spend their time holding grudges and spreading propaganda against the Abnegation.

Well, back to volunteering now. The looks of happiness on the faces of the factionless completely defy Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Their physiological requirements like food and shelter are not fulfilled but they still manage to find love and a sense of belonging in this society which shuns them. It is true; to balance evil there is equal good and vice versa.

The factionless people are not allowed to take the Aptitude Tests and choose. So the children of factionless parents remain factionless and this cycle goes on. There is a manifold increase in the factionless population after so many years. Their strength in pure numbers is equal to or more than the Abnegation. The increasing population demands more donated resources, thus putting more pressure on the Abnegation.

I walk in the opposite direction, fixing my gaze to the marsh and the defunct Ferris wheel. I can see the Erudite headquarters far away, its boxlike shape made with glass and pristine white walls. Those walls almost whisper in my mind, wanting me to find a sense of belonging in them.

I look at my watch. It's 4.30 am. I decide to head home. I pass the factionless sector, when a sudden shuffling of feet reaches my ears. I turn around apprehensively. An old lady dressed in white and red looks at me.

"Why aren't you at home, son?" She asks kindly, in the way that all grandmothers speak. I don't have one but Susan does and her grandma is truly kind. She really understands what somebody is going through.

"My home isn't one anymore." I say in a bitter tone, hoping that the lady wouldn't understand. Like all old and wise people, she understands my predicament.

"Are you sixteen, dear?"

"Yes, how did you know?" I say with astonishment.

"Well, I do find some sixteen year olds on this road every year before the Choosing Ceremony. They face the same choices that you face now."

"I wouldn't interfere, but choose wisely, think of yourself and not about anyone else. This may sound a bit heartless for someone coming from Abnegation but this is the truth."

"Thank you for your advice. May I ask your name, madam?"

"You can call me June."

"Do you have any food to spare, son? I didn't get any dinner today."

"I am so sorry, June but I promise to meet you one day, talk to you and bring you some food." I say, really feeling sorry for the old lady. She must be starving right now and wasn't able to sleep.

"Don't worry son, if you come to me next time, don't bother to bring any food. Nobody comes to talk to me."

"Thank you so much, June. I should be going home now or mom will catch me outside the house."

"Goodbye and may we meet again!" June says happily.

I bid goodbye to June. She displayed such kindness in the face of adversity. Her last sentence sounded eerily similar to what Susan said in my nightmare. I go back to the direction of my house. I pass the front lawn silently, my shadow passing the mowed but withered grass. I go to the door and slowly open it up, careful not to make a noise on the ancient door hinges. Alright, level one completed. I cross the living room and go to my room upstairs. I close the door.

The adrenaline from my illegal late-night stroll fades. I sit up on my bed, unable to sleep. I partition my head into five, each thinking about one particular faction.

  1. a) Abnegation- The whole 'acting' thing comes to my mind. Maybe if I continue this acting after my choosing, it would become a reality for me. This acting would come with added benefits like staying with mom and dad. I really don't know about Beatrice's choice, so if this staying together thing backfires on me I would be broken. My days would consist of volunteering, volunteering and some more volunteering. Susan comes to my mind but I am really unsure. Would I be willing to forsake my choice for her? Alright, so this one ended in a question. I think about the next one.
  2. b) Amity- Amity was never an option for me. Those people there are way too high on peace serum. Who wants to wake up early and run around in the mud doing farming? I don't know much about this particular faction. Living in a community, working towards shared goals never interested me. I'd rather be one person alone. Kindness sounds way too similar to selflessness. The difference is that it is coloured red and yellow.
  3. c) Candor- Nope. Another unsuitable faction. I imagine myself, clothed in black and white, telling the truth always, whether I burped accidentally in the classroom or threw a spit ball at the teacher.(I did that a couple of times, when the math teacher got annoyingly boring. The Dauntless smiled at me while the teacher remained clueless. Thank God no Candor kid saw me doing that. Hypocrisy at its best, being afraid of my own 'imagined faction')
  4. d) Dauntless- That is a freaking crazy place. Me, all black, jumping and running around in all sorts of crazy places. Having piercings and tattoos all over myself. Well, I could find some freedom there but I really don't know about what sort of initiation tests they would give to find out the capacity of your courage. I could maybe meet Tobias there and talk to him but he could well be a stranger to me. Another unsuitable faction.
  5. e) Erudite- This one seems like the place in which I could really belong. I can imagine myself in blue. This freedom comes with a price. I would not be able to see my loving mom and dad, Beatrice, Susan and Robert. I think about the propaganda spread about Abnegation. Most of it originates from Erudite, since they have control over the newspapers and media. I could hate Erudite for the rest of my life but I look at it positively. I would be able to rest all the rumours about my faction. I think about Jeanine, the representative of Erudite, entrancing the world with her silver-tongued jargon. If her words don't work, her brain surely does. She always knows how to get what she wants. I can live there, committing my life to a better city.



The Erudite may be the most knowledgeable but again they do not know how to steer that knowledge in the right direction. They do nothing for the factionless. My faction at least provides them with whatever they can. Jeanine Matthews is one hell of a manipulative person; she wants the Erudite and possibly the rest of the city under her control.

I weigh Abnegation and Erudite in my mind. Leaving Abnegation is a solely personal choice, due to the lack of freedom. Abnegation also works for the common good but purely by donating resources. Joining Erudite seems to be a more intelligent way of solving the problems our city faces. It also seems better for my personal development but no faction is perfect. I will be stepped upon and harshly criticised, coming from Abnegation. I need to accept that as a bitter truth.

I am totally going philosophical here. Working for the common good? I am only one person. I may be able to gather two or three people but what will they do? I cannot change entire faction principles by myself. Although after so many years, these principles seem to get completely twisted due to the interpretation of these ideals by the leaders and people of respective factions. Erudite was supposed to make use of their intelligence for all the people in the society. Now, they have become exceedingly manipulative, power-hungry and use their intelligence to get what they want. This may not be the case of all Erudite but they have built up this snobby, condescending, I'm-better-than-you image which first comes to the minds of all the other people in the city when they think about an Erudite person.

I lie in my bed thinking about all of this. My head wanders around, trying to make sense of the world around me. This night won't last forever. I need to face the day tomorrow.

The sunlight streams through the windowpanes. I wonder if it would be the last time I saw the sunlight through an Abnegation window.

I go down to the dining room. I eat quickly. No time for hugs or kisses today. I take Beatrice along with me. I board the bus, which is full of other Abnegation going to choose. The bus arrives before the tallest building in the city, The Hub. It is a huge building, all glass and chrome. I think about who built this. The buildings in our city are hundreds of years old but the Abnegation maintain some of them properly. The city does not have enough resources to build one.

The Abnegation climb the floors, not bothering to take the lift. I put on a calm façade and climb along with them. The Ceremony is held on the twentieth floor but they climb without question or complaint. We are directed to sit on designated seats. I look over at Beatrice; she is really nervous right now. I tell her to take a deep breath. Hopefully she remembered the advice I gave her.

The Abnegation are holding the Ceremony this year. Marcus Eaton gives his speech but I only catch the last line of it. It goes like this-

"In the factions we find purpose, drive and hope."

I bet most of the dependents aren't listening to the speech either. I look around myself, the Dauntless creating a ruckus as always. Marcus Eaton says,

"Quiet, please! We are trying to conduct an important ceremony here!"

The Dauntless stop their talking but muttering can be heard still now. The Abnegation seem to get especially irritated by the Erudite and Dauntless because their principles are so different from Abnegation. Abnegation dislikes non-conformity with a vengeance.

Names are read off the roll in reverse alphabetical order. The first is Gregory Zellner, an Amity dependent. He is given a knife and is instructed to cut his hand and pour the blood into the bowl of his choice. He chooses Amity. I think hard about my choice but I am still not able to come up with a definite answer. The first transfer James Tucker comes up. He is Dauntless born but chooses Candor. The names go on slowly. Soon, it is my turn. Marcus calls,

"Caleb Prior, Abnegation"

I go to the bowls and take the knife kept beside them. I cut my hand, letting the blood pool in it. I stare at each blood-stained bowl. My attention is captured by the Abnegation and Erudite bowls. They are kept opposite to each other, each symbolising the opposite ends of the spectrum. The Abnegation bowl promises safety and family but no freedom. The Erudite one promises freedom and knowledge at the cost of my family. It should be a simple choice, right? But my brain has ceased to function and has turned into useless mush.

I weigh both of them for one final time and extend my hand towards the Erudite bowl. My blood turns the pink water into a darker shade.

"Caleb Prior, Erudite initiate", Marcus Eaton says.

I walk to the Erudite section and take a seat. The general reaction of the Erudite is divided into two halves, with one looking at me with a smile while the other one looks at me as if I wasn't worth their time. Jeanine's face is completely neutral.

The Abnegation look at me with shocked faces. Did I sense a slight disagreement in his voice? This must not be visible to other people but I can read the body language of others pretty well. That is how I pick up Beatrice's lies so easily. The shocked looks don't bother me but mom, dad and Beatrice decide to look at me at this same instant. I can see a slight smile on mom's face and dad gives me a slightly disappointed look. Beatrice looks at me emotionlessly. The looks of the others don't bother me but it is dad's look that breaks my heart, soul and mind. Why was mom looking at me with a smile? She must be either proud or indifferent, smiling for the sake of it.

It is Beatrice's turn now. She walks to the bowls and faces the same choice. She chooses Dauntless. I am not particularly surprised. She must have not told me her results because of this. I always knew that she wasn't going to choose Abnegation. I imagine her in black, having a tattoo or two. The image is a little weird but she must have made this choice to be free, just like I did. I hope that she finds joy and freedom in darkness. The darkness implied here is not bad, just unusual. Well, she made her choice and I made mine. I just hope that she doesn't turn out brutal or reckless like the other Dauntless.

The Choosing Ceremony comes to an end after the last Amity girl makes her choice. All the Erudite walk in order and synchronicity. Jeanine is at the lead, flanked by two of her subordinates. We walk to the Erudite building which is quite near The Hub. A Dauntless transfer walks along with me. He is clad completely in black, characteristic of the Dauntless. He looks pretty tame, not like the other Dauntless with so many tattoos and piercings. He has cropped black hair, dark brown eyes and is somewhat tall, just like me. He wants to make conversation but is not sure how. I didn't expect indecisiveness from a Dauntless. So I speak to him-

"Hey, you were looking at me for a while, so I figured that you would want to talk to me. Tell me your name."

"I am Tristan Dominic; you can call me either Tristan or Dominic. I don't like nicknames. What's yours?"

"I am Caleb Prior, you can call me Caleb. Even I don't like useless nicknames." I say, mimicking his habit of speaking very fast.

"Hey, you copycat. Didn't expect this from an Abnegation guy."

"I'm an Erudite initiate now. I'm surprised you didn't call me Stiff or even talked to me."

"I'm different that way. I love doing the unexpected."

"Tristan, it's really nice to meet you." I could maybe find a friend in him.

We reach the awe-inspiring and somewhat intimidating white glass building.

"Caleb, this is our chance to get a new future. We could find a real place to fit, in these white walls. I'm surprised they didn't make the walls blue."

"When did a Dauntless like you get so poetic?"

"Like you said, I'm an Erudite initiate now."


	5. Welcome To The Blue Parade

** Caleb's POV **

We walk through the spotlessly clean and well maintained road. I almost have an urge to wipe my grey sneakers with my shirt so as to not dirty the road. A number of Erudite walk through the road, eyes glued to their portable screens. One person almost bumps into me but I step aside at the last moment. The same happens to Tristan. I make a mental note to walk on this road carefully.

We reach the Erudite compound. A dignified guard greets us with a nod. All of us, transfers and Erudite born, walk through the humongous glass doors, etched with the eye symbol. Various potted plants kept on both sides of the door display various plants. Once we pass the main door, an enormous glass sculpture kept in the centre of the hall comes into my field of vision. It is really beautiful, a blend of light blue glass, transparent glass and water. All the transfers gawk at it, mesmerised by its magnificence. It is shaped into a kind of an abstract wave, with half of it solid and the other half fluid. Some parts of the sculpture appear to be shattered, contributing to the beauty. The water almost caresses the glass, flowing within and without the glass structure.

"Really beautiful, isn't it? I bet there is a hidden meaning behind it, far too complex for us humble mortals to decipher." says Tristan.

"I think Jeanine would give us the answer, being the one to provide answers."

The transfers are engaged in their own interpretation of the message behind the sculpture but the Erudite born are unimpressed. They see this sculpture daily.

There are ancient, musty books kept in glass shelves. The shelves wrap around the circular central hall. Computer desks wrap around the book shelves. Most of the Erudite members stare at the computer screens, hypnotised by the blue light emanating from the screens. The book shelves seem to have very few visitors.

An Erudite member clears his throat, signalling everyone to keep quiet. His face is deadly serious although his blue eyes are not cold. He looks pretty young, early twenties maybe. I guess it's a job requirement for instructors to have deadly serious faces.

"Listen up, everyone! I am your initiation instructor, Alev. The transfers and Erudite born will be taught and evaluated together, unlike the other factions."

"The transfers have a lot of catching up to do since the Erudite born are already accustomed to the level and intensity of the tests." Jeanine says, in her trademark cold and condescending tone.

Alev takes us around the Erudite compound which is again all white walls. I wonder how someone can navigate through this mess of corridors. I can spy a few laboratories here and there, full of chemicals and other stuff. The libraries must be further ahead. Alev leads us to our dorm. The dorm is a completely different story. It has light blue walls and a marble floor. Alev says,

"This is the transfer dorm, I guess the Erudite born don't need guidance." Alev says with no expression. I thought he would say this with a smirk.

The Erudite born make up for his lack of expression. They look at each other with smirks. One of them says to me,

"You're going to have it hard here, Stiff." A guy with a wicked face says. The face is not wicked in a naughty troublemaker way but in a totally sadistic and sinister way. Those creepy blue eyes radiate malevolence and chills travel up my spine. Either he is not human or it could be my hyperactive imagination. I don't think he knows how to smile, save giving a smirk every minute or so.

"Stop it, Xander; don't think you are only intelligent one here." An Erudite guy says.

"Shut up, you smart mouth." Alev directs this necessary statement toward Xander.

"Listen up, initiates! Erudite initiation is divided into three phases. The first phase tests your theoretical knowledge. The first phase will comprise of written tests on different subjects. The second phase tests your practical knowledge. It will comprise of experiments and projects. The third and the toughest phase tests the application of whatever you have learnt. You will be provided with simulations and situations in this phase. Today is your rest day and a chance to get accustomed to this environment. Tomorrow you will be giving the entrance test, which tests your ability to retain knowledge. Every subject and every level, whether it be Middle Levels or Upper Levels will be tested."

He guides us around the Erudite compound. The next stop is the chemistry lab. Xander messes around with some chemicals while Alev isn't looking. Xander decides the next best idea is to drop some sodium in some water. He reaches his hand out and I look at him at the same moment.

"Stop it; you're going to blow up the container." I say in a whisper and smack his hand away.

"Why do you care, Stiff? What if that is my intention?" Xander says with an evil sneer.

Okay, so this dense Erudite isn't going to learn. He knows what is going to take place and yet he doesn't do the right thing.

"A lesson in human psychology, knowing what is going to happen and yet doing stupid things." Alev says, appearing silently behind Xander.

Xander gets a heart attack. He jumps a foot high and looks at Alev. I almost laugh at his idiotic expression. With this all initiates look at Xander. His sneer is wiped off his face for once. I almost slap myself on the back for catching him red-handed.

The next place we go to is the library. It has glass doors and a granite sculpture beside the door which looks like a maiden with a harp. The library is gargantuan and all other adjectives which describe something big. The shelves wrap around the walls, with other shelves in front of them. The whole design reminds me of the layers of an onion. I know it's a weird comparison but it is the most similar. I go to the Biology section and grab a book on plant biology. The Biology section is on the opposite side of the room, which means a lot of walking. I see another Erudite girl reading a book. I know that this is my new favourite place in the whole compound. I see all the transfers engaged in a book or two but most of the Erudite born are uninterested in the books. I gaze at the clock, it's almost 12 pm.

"Okay initiates, time to get out of here. It is lunch time now." Alev says.

The cafeteria is situated in the beginning of another corridor. I wonder how many floors and corridors and rooms are here. Alev goes to his friends' table. I go to a table on the side of the room and Tristan follows me. The food system is like a buffet. Tristan comes up to me and says,

"Welcome, my dear sir, to the blissful world of intelligent food." He extends his hands and bows to the food.

"Thank you, my honourable servant; I didn't know that food was being served here." I wouldn't have dared to say all of this in Abnegation but my idiot side is shining here. Tristan looks at me and bursts out in a loud laugh which is highly contagious. I laugh too, mine sounding a bit cracked from disuse.

We walk in a line and grab whatever looks good. The trays are fitted with screens that display that dish's calorific value. I pick up a rice dish and some chicken gravy which looks really good. Tristan runs to the dessert counter. I go with him, with the intention of knocking some logic into him.

"You begin with dessert first?" I say like a strict governess.

"Madame, you need not begin with main course. Come along with me and experience the joys of eating dessert first."

"Okay, but just for once."

The dessert table is laid out with cake, muffins and a strange cold white dessert. I stare at it, having no familiarity with it. It's not my fault that I only got squishy rice pudding in Abnegation. Tristan notices me.

"Dude, have you never seen ice-cream before?"

"What is ice-cream?"

"O ye ignorant earthly being, it is the most accurate description of heaven in the mortal world."

"Alright, let me taste this heaven that you say."

I heap some ice-cream in a bowl. I grab a glass of strange fizzy water. We go to our table. I taste some of the ice-cream; this is my favourite dessert now. Heck, this is my favourite food now. I finish the ice-cream first before touching the rice dish, it is that good. Tristan is starting to rub off on me.

"Told you, Caleb, it is heaven. Not only that, ice-cream radiates positivity, it is the best cure after a break-up with your girlfriend."

"I don't know about girlfriends but this ice-cream is heavenly."

Tristan gives an angelic smile and a told-you-so look. I can practically see the halo on his head. I eat the rice dish and almost sing its praises. What have I been missing on?

"We had ice-cream and chocolate cake in Dauntless. Although all of the Dauntless liked the cake, I always liked ice-cream better."

"Dissension in the desserts!" I say, pretending to give a war cry. I sit there for a minute until Tristan finishes his ice-cream.

"Tristan, let's see who can gulp this drink the fastest."

"Challenge accepted" He says and pretends to flex his biceps.

"Raise your glass, to your mouth, one, two, and go!" I say and gulp the drink.

I spit it out and Tristan does the same. The drink tastes sickly sweet and almost gives me a headache. It tastes somewhat like a lemon, if only that lemon was submerged in a ton of sugar syrup for three days.

"Yuck, what is this?" Tristan says after taking a big swallow of real water.

"Ask Jeanine Matthews" I say after doing the same.

A lost Amity transfer comes to us and asks if she could sit beside us. She holds a plate filled with bread, gravy and ice-cream. I allow her, who could say no to that lost-sheep face? She is somewhat beautiful but she doesn't care to show it. She has fiery red curls, leaf green eyes and freckled fair skin. I can already see Tristan giving looks at her.

"What is your name?" Tristan's goofiness is replaced with shyness. Huh, what a Dauntless.

"I am Anahita, often shortened to Anna or Ana. Who are you?"

I am Tristan, often shortened to Tristan." Anna smiles at this.

"Who are you?" She asks me.

"I am Caleb, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet both of you, Tristan and Caleb, although you do seem like a pair of goofs. I could hear your laughs from the other side of the room."

"I am hurt, Anahita." Tristan says sorrowfully while placing his right hand over his heart.

She seems fun to be around. At least she wasn't deterred by a 'Stiff' like me. It is nice to have some friends with whom you can joke around with.

"Do you know Anna, that my friend here, had never seen ice-cream before?" Tristan says.

"Yeah, I transferred to Erudite just to find out how ice-cream tasted like." I deadpan.

Tristan smiles but Anahita bursts into a laugh. My cheeks would probably twitch after so much of smiling.

"Okay, so how was Abnegation food?" Anna asks.

"It wasn't anything special. My day began with some plain chicken, plain oatmeal, plain peas etc. But everything was the epitome of plain."

"Aw, poor guy" Tristan says while pretending to wipe a tear.

"Shut up, Tristan. Hey Anna, how was life in Amity?" I say eager to change the topic.

"We had good food. My day began with an hour of fruit-picking, milking the cows or something farm related. Then I went to school. The rest, they say is history because I'm an Erudite initiate now." She says the last part dramatically.

"It is such a common observation that everyone is eager to leave their past behind." I speak. It is true for me; this grey is so unappealing in this blue.

"I am amazed at the amount of intelligence stored in such a mushy brain." Anna replies.

"I am hurt now, Anahita." I say while placing my right hand over my heart, just like Tristan.

"Hey, you didn't ask me about my Dauntless life." Tristan says, sounding like a toddler.

"I know about Dauntless, since my younger sister chose to live in that faction." I reply.

"What is her name?"

"Her name is Beatrice."

"Oh, even I have a younger brother. His name is Trevor. He is going to choose after five years. He is the most annoying person in this city."

"You said that Beatrice is your younger sister, how did she choose in the same year as you did?" Tristan says solemnly, changing the topic yet again. He must be thinking of leaving everyone he loved behind. Even I did that for joining Erudite.

"We don't have that much of an age difference. You see, Beatrice is just ten months younger than me."

Tristan sits there with his head down on the table. His face must be completely emotionless or he is trying to hide signs of emotional weakness. I think it is a Dauntless trait, to not show any 'weak' emotion. Anna pats his back, not saying a word. I guess she knows better than to say sorry. Sorry and pity is useless in these situations.

"Lunch time is up, initiates." Alev says standing up.

All the transfers walk to the dormitory. Alev stands there and speaks in a booming voice,

"Transfers, you are advised to change your clothing now."

We go to the clothing store, where it looks like an ocean has puked on it. Ninety percent of the clothing is blue. I might faint from all the clothing choices displayed here. I went to the store every six months with dad to pick an identical set of grey clothes. I never did care much about clothes. Abnegation never taught me about the real life of all the other factions. I stare at the clothes like an idiot. This time, Anahita notices me.

"Never saw clothing which wasn't identical?" She asks.

"Yeah, I guess that defines my Abnegation upbringing."

"You need to learn about real life, man." Tristan replies.

I choose a plain powder blue t-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. I go into the nearby trial room and change my clothes. I almost cannot identify myself as I look into the mirror. This version of Caleb is completely different from the Abnegation one. I am not scared to look into the mirror. The only thing required would be a pair of thick-framed glasses.

I get out of the trial room and see that my friends are dressed in blue. Tristan wears a dark blue t-shirt in which one atom says 'I lost an electron.' The other one says 'Are you positive?' That tee made me smile. Tristan smiled at Anahita. Anna wore a light blue tee which says, 'Cognito, ergo sum'.

"May I ask the meaning of this lovely Latin phrase?"

"It means, I think, therefore I am" Anahita says with a smirk.

"When did you learn Latin?" I say.

"I used to sneak away from my morning farm duty most of the time."

"That, my friends, is a rebel and the Dauntless love a rebel." Tristan speaks dramatically and looks at Anahita.

We get out of the clothing store when all the transfers finish changing their clothes. We carry our old clothes in paper bags. Outside the store, a big basin of yellow liquid awaits us.

"Transfers, you are requested to deposit your clothes in this basin of pure Sulphuric acid." Alev says.

"What a bunch of show-offs. Couldn't they just burn these clothes?" Tristan whispers.

"I guess it would be too Dauntless or not worth showing off." Anahita replies.

All the transfers including me get rid of their clothing reluctantly. I wanted to cling to a little piece of home but that is not the case now. I throw my old clothing in the basin, watching the acid eat them away. At least I am wearing my grey sneakers.

"You are free to do whatever you like but remember, you have to report to the main hall at 8.30 am tomorrow and the days after that. If you fail, you will be given one chance and after that you will be defected to factionless." Alev says.

We walk to our dorm. I look around the room and under the bunk beds. I see a dark blue bag on the nightstand. I open it and see a toothbrush, soap, shampoo and other stuff inside. A portable tablet constitutes most of the other stuff. The rest is too embarrassing to speak about. I decide to take the bottom bunk on the right wall of the room. Tristan takes the bunk above me. I keep the small amount of luggage I own into a frosted glass cabinet.

I choose to go to the library. Tristan probably wants to raid the cafeteria. I decide to save raiding the cafe for another day. I make my way to the library, looking at the glass doors properly. They have an eye surrounded by a circle etched into them. I enter the humongous glass doors and into the equally humongous library. A small wooden counter greets me. It says 'deposit books for borrowing here.'

I go to the English section. I choose a book called 'Macbeth' by William Shakespeare. The yellowed cover page shows a bald old guy that probably must be Shakespeare. I go to the tables meant for reading. The library is mostly empty but this is my favourite kind of situation, no chattering Erudite making a show of discussing the plots in books.

I go to a table and open the book. The play begins with three witches speaking to each other. I read a couple of pages; the book is kind of interesting when taken in small doses. I see another Erudite girl reading on the table in front of mine. This girl must also like quiet places, like me. I stare at her out of the corner of my eye. She is really beautiful, with sparkling hazel eyes fixed downward on the pages. She has short, choppy brown hair, different among long-haired Erudite girls.

I know that if I ask her name, I would start stuttering, which is worse than Tristan's shyness when he asked Anahita. She looks up for a second and in that second my heart travels into my small intestine. Those beautiful hazel eyes look even more beautiful when locked with mine. I know that my brain is turning into cheese right now and my words would be equally cheesy, so I look down into my book but it fails to catch my attention. My mind is fixed on that girl, whose name I don't know yet.

I get that Macbeth book from the table, intending to read it later. I go to the counter and a batty old lady with a bad temper sits there. She must be the nightmare of all Lower Levels kids.

"Are you an initiate? If so, you can borrow books from the library only after the initiation process ends."

"Yes madam, I am Caleb Prior, an Abnegation transfer going through the process of initiation." Weird, the lady asked me a question and gave the answer herself.

The old lady gives me an evil look, although it is not more evil than that initiate Xander. I say all of this a bit loudly so that the girl knows my name indirectly. She must be deciding whether to even look in my direction because I said 'Abnegation'. The girl goes to her place, not borrowing the book; I guess she is an initiate too. She must be Erudite-born, since she wasn't present in the transfer dorm.

I roam around in the library, occasionally going to the Math section. I don't pick a book from there. Math never interested me. I get bored of the library and head towards the dorm.

I get my tablet from my bag. This is the first time I got my hands on a portable device. There were computer labs in the school but again, all the Abnegation except me didn't use the lab. A kind lady, her name was Katherine, taught me about computers and programming. She was an Erudite member too but there was nothing condescending about her, just like my Aptitude Test administrator, Aster. Katherine treated everyone as an equal, no matter how technologically backward that person was.

I switch the device on. The first thing the tablet asks me to do is set a password. I set the password as mom's birthday, 12 June. A blue glow comes from the tablet. There is a map of Erudite built into the tab but it doesn't show the details of the fourth or fifth floor. It merely says, 'restricted research laboratories'.

It takes a good two hours to explore the tab. There is a built-in intranet for all Erudite. Anyone can post any query, no matter how silly or unimportant, anonymously. The programme, known as 'Quaestiones' promises to answer your question in a day or two. I'm sure it means 'questions' in Latin. Honestly, the whole of Erudite seems to have a Latin obsession, just to make them look intelligent. I decide to post a silly question. My post says,

'Why do cows moo?' by anonymous C.

I can't help laughing over that silly question. Hey, that question rhymed. Let me see who answers that correctly. Tristan, who was sitting above my bed looks down and is concerned about my mental stability.

"What happened there, Caleb? Have you gone crazy?"

I don't say anything; I just show him the post. He laughs a loud belly laugh.

"Man, let me see who answers this question."

"Don't tell anyone. I am incognito for a reason. If Jeanine Matthews knows, I'll surely be put into a padded cell." I whisper.

"Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Anonymous C." He whispers back.

My day ends like this. I am kind of happy that I chose Erudite. The real tests would begin from tomorrow. I settle down in my bed, my thoughts occupied by a certain hazel-eyed girl.

**Hey there! Did you see what I did to the chapter title? The answer will be revealed in the next chapter. The Quaestiones programme was my play on Quora.**

**Hugs and tons of ice-cream**

**TheVibrantNight**


	6. Wake Me Up When Initiation Ends

** Caleb's POV **

I lay awake in my bed. Sleeping wasn't successful. I must have woken up at least two or three times at night. I look around the room. A lot of the faces are unfamiliar, except for two of them. I didn't pay much attention to their names. I heard some here and there but I still cannot assign names to these faces. I look over to Tristan; he has drool over his face and is muttering something. Anahita is sleeping like a silent shadow. Only the smallest sounds of exhales come from her bed. Thank goodness nobody snores here. I glance at the glowing green numbers on my digital clock. It is 3.30 am. I catch the smallest bit of movement outside the door.

I really need to put an end on this sneaking away habit. I decide this is the last time. I am much too curious to let this go. I get up and stuff the pillow under the quilt. Old trick, but it works. I lace my sneakers quietly and go outside the door. I decide not to do the tiptoe walk; it would look extra sneaky then. I walk outside the door normally and quietly.

I go outside the door and walk to the junction of the corridor, the place where it branches off. Two people are standing there, the first being Jeanine Matthews and the second being Alev, the instructor. Alev is somewhat nervous. Anyone would be, if they were talking to Jeanine Matthews. The conversation goes somewhat like this:

"I expect you have got the simulation equipment ready. The initiates are to be tested tomorrow and any signs of divergence are to be brought to my notice."

"Yes madam, I will report them to you."

"You know the consequences of not following my orders. The last time is not to be repeated."

"Yes ma'am." Alev says a bit sheepishly. He seems to squirm almost guiltily under her words.

I look at my watch. It is 3.45 am on 5th July. This may be required for later use.

Divergence? Consequences? What are they? I think about divergence, its literal meaning is to deviate from a path. It could also mean non-conformity. I don't know what kind of path or conformity is being talked about here. The consequences of not reporting so called 'divergence' seem to be really deep. Alev must have not reported divergence earlier and it appears he got away with it narrowly. I know that these words will consume me until I find answers.

"I expect vigilant, careful and discreet reporting."

"Yes madam, I will report any signs of such behaviour to my superior." Alev says a bit jumpily.

I speculate who Alev's superior is. It seemed like he handled the initiation department singlehandedly. Maybe someone else will administer the simulation tests tomorrow. Alev said yesterday that the simulations would be provided in the last stage of testing. Why this change now? Maybe this change has a connection to divergence. Alev seems to be totally under Jeanine's control. In other words, he may be Jeanine's pawn. I don't think he will answer my queries on divergence correctly. I could try Quaestiones but anything put up on a public platform can be traced to its origin by an expert programmer, no matter how many times it is encrypted. Heck, even Alev could do it himself and then I would be a dead guy for sure.

Alev walks closer to the left corridor. I hold my breath and move closer to the transfer dorm wall, making sure no one can see me. Alev walks off into the Erudite born dorm. I walk into the dorm and look around to see that nobody else's eyes are open at this inopportune moment. Unfortunately as always, I have been caught.

"What were you doing there, man?" Tristan whispers.

"I'll tell this to you later. Sleep now and don't wake anyone else up." I whisper-reply.

"What were you doing, at ungodly o'clock?" I murmur eager to change the topic.

"Same goes for you, mister. I got up to get a drink of water." He replies.

"I got up to go to the washroom." I say.

"Go to sleep, you're drunk." He says a bit out of control.

Going to get a drink of water is the most clichéd excuse possible. Why did he say that I am inebriated? I need to interrogate him tomorrow or technically today. The same would apply to me and I am not looking forward to it. What sort of explanation could I possibly give?

I brush those questions off. Tristan isn't my mom that he would be able to catch lies easily. I could just hold my stand of going to the washroom but I know it won't be true since the washroom is inside the dorm and he saw me entering from the outside of the dorm. I wonder what I shall say to Tristan in the morning. I don't think he should be trusted with this secret. After all, I knew him only for a day. With these thoughts I go to sleep once again.

A loud alarm rings from Jeanine-knows-where. I fling my pillow in a random direction, hoping to shut that down. After a futile try, I get up from my bed and look at the clock. Oh no, it is 8.15 am. I look at Tristan and decide to wake him up. I shake his shoulder.

"Five more minutes, mom." Tristan replies sleepily.

"Hey Tristan, your ears must be really bad if you think of me as your mom. Look at the time now."

"Shut the freaking alarm off!" He says and tosses his pillow randomly.

He decides to look at the time now. He curses and goes into the bathroom, grabbing a towel, toothbrush, toothpaste and some clothes. I do the same. I enter the bathroom and splash water on my face. I try to tame my bedhead frantically but it opposes taming with equal resistance. My hair cannot seem to decide which direction it wants to point toward. I grab the comb and do my hair. I really regret sneaking away. I don't want to be late on the first day of initiation.

I get out of the shower and put my clothes on. I enter the dorm and see that the other initiates are in the advanced stages of getting ready, that is they are tying their shoelaces. My hair is still dripping water. I tie my shoelaces hurriedly and wait for Tristan.

Tristan comes in with dishevelled hair, wet from the shower. I wait for him to say something but he must not be in the mood to talk.

We walk towards the main hall silently, the weight of not making initiation hanging over us like a leaded shadow. Alev is already present in the main hall.

"Initiates, you are requested to make a line and go into the simulation room."

What is this? Lower Levels? Why is he telling us to make a line? Anyway, all the transfers and Erudite born get into two separate lines, an invisible barrier separating them. The Erudite born line leads the front and the transfer line joins it from the back. I glance at the beautiful girl with hazel eyes and short hair. She wears thick-framed glasses. I need to ask her name someday and no one is talking to her that I would know her name indirectly. She is really short, five-two maybe, just like Beatrice. Alev walks beside the line; he wouldn't want to be mistaken for an initiate.

The simulation room is the same glass doors with an eye symbol. The whole of Erudite seems to have glass doors. I wouldn't be surprised if the apartments have glass doors too. The room is separated into two halves, with one side having benches and the other side must have the simulation equipment. The two haves are separated with a wooden door this time. I stare at the wooden blanket, awaiting my fate.

Aster, my Aptitude test administrator is overseeing the simulations. She has a kind smile on her face as always.

"Good morning initiates! Those of you who do not know me, I am Aster McKenzie, head of the simulations and sera department. I am going to supervise the simulations today." The initiates mumble a good morning, not used to such enthusiasm in the morning.

Did her eyes glance over to me for a millisecond? If so, she pretends not to recognise me in front of the other initiates. The Erudite born are baffled as to why a simulation test is being given in the first stage of initiation. I can hear some muttering and discussion. The Transfers look nervous, but it is a typical before-the-test nervousness.

"Listen up; this information is going to help you in this test. Mrs. Aster, you may go on." Alev says, glaring at the talking Erudite group. The talking ceases immediately.

Aster clears her throat and takes a deep breath.

"This system will measure your ability to make sense of your surroundings. Your emotions, instincts and past experiences will be pitted against your intelligence. You need to think in new ways to pass this one. This equipment is more intuitive than the Aptitude Test computers. The simulations will invent new situations in accordance with your emotional and mental state. Those who fail to produce satisfactory results will be marked negatively."

Most of Erudite teachers' dialogue consists of threats. I don't think these threats are empty ones. Especially if they are given by Jeanine. I think Aster must be Alev's superior. I reflect on the conversation between Alev and Jeanine once again. This must be the simulation they were talking about. This must be a new experiment in the initiation process.

The names are called alphabetically. I know I am going to be the ninth or tenth person on the list. The first one, Anahita goes up. She must be regretting her name, which begins with an 'A'. She gives a smile to Tristan and walks into the room. She is out within ten minutes, her face resembling a person who has just seen a ghost.

The second one, Andrew goes up. The name feels weird, almost as if Dad was beside me. I shake my head. I don't want any family-based simulations to come up for me.

I sit on a bench, not paying attention to the names once again. I sit there with my eyes closed. My mind doesn't want stimuli-overload right now. I shut my ears down and sit there.

"Caleb Prior, you are requested to enter the simulation room now." Aster says sternly.

This isn't exactly a request. The choice of saying yes or no was taken away from me as soon as dropped my blood in that bowl of water. The bowl seems a million years away, the choice made reviewed in my head a thousand times. Erudite is my only reality now.

"All the best, Caleb" Tristan whispers with a thumbs-up. I mutter a 'thank you' in return. I never paid attention to the religious aspect of Abnegation but I remember God and utter a silent prayer.

I enter the room and look around. The room has a computer and a bazillion electrodes coming from it, wiry plants growing from a plastic and chrome flowerpot. The room resembles the Aptitude Test room with a haunting similarity. The only differences are that the walls are not covered with mirrors and the computer has more electrodes spouting from it. This room must be the stuff of nightmares. I can imagine myself waking up after dreaming that the electrodes have strangled me.

"You may take a seat here." Aster says. She seems almost robotic, not a smile, not a kind word.

I sit on the uncomfortable plastic chair. Aster plugs some of the electrodes onto my forehead. She brings out a large plastic needle. I never minded needles much when mom took me out for immunisation when I was a kid. This needle looks like something you would stab an Amity horse with. I even read about horses and what sort of antibiotics they get. Silly me.

I stare at the serum inside the injection, no need to look at the needle. The serum is a cloudy white, intended to exploit the deepest recesses of my brain. Aster injects the needle into my jugular vein. The serum must be an intravenous one. I ignore the sharp stab of pain by imagining mom giving me a small sugar candy after an injection. Mom only did that when I didn't cry. Mom had her quirks in some aspects. She wasn't the perfect Abnegation mother. The image makes tears come from my lachrymal glands instead of cheering me up.

I clear the image of mom and my brain finds of something else to think. My stupid head focuses on horses. The simulation pulls me under with the vague images of horses and injections still in my mind.

I stand in a field of grass. I can hear a stream rushing behind me. A mysterious man clad in black, eerily similar to the man in the Aptitude test. He comes near me and drags me near a tree.

"I had told you that I would make you pay." The guy says with the fire of vengeance dancing in his tone.

He strangles my neck, making my face a mixture of red and purple. I clench my hands in a vague punch. I am asphyxiated and the man is squeezing harder. I don't know how to think, the man's hands are so real and fatal. I bring my hand upward, intending to punch him but my mind feels sluggish by the lack of oxygen. My hand swings down limply.

I know that I will black out when the pain gets too much to handle. The blackout may be any moment now. I try to calm down but my mind is in a heightened state of panic. Black spots appear on the edges of my vision and spread rapidly. I look at the scene for one last time and after that, everything is black all over.

I don't know how long I spent in the unconscious state. My eyes open and my hands automatically travel to my neck. There seems to be no pain in my neck and I don't see any bruises. It comes to my mind now that the whole thing was a simulation, it wasn't real. My mind rationalised everything now, when it was too late.

Okay Caleb, you botched this one up. I am swimming in a pool of shame and regret when the simulation throws the next curve ball at me.

I stand in a claustrophobic metal box of a room. The room is very small, six metres by four metres maybe. The ceiling almost hits my head. The room is really messy, with cables, blocks of wood, nuts and bolts and whatnot lying on a plywood table.

I decide to take inventory of whatever is on the table. I am sure I need to use them in one way or another. I see a flathead screwdriver, some nails, a two metre long wire, nuts and bolts, a plank of wood and a piece of bread? What is it with the teachers putting one thing which doesn't fit at all? Am I supposed to eat it? Or feed some birds? My thoughts are interrupted by half of the metal floor giving way.

I grab onto the edge of the floor. I look beneath me. I am not acrophobic but the scene below makes my heart crawl into my throat. The sight below me is pure black, with a vortex of still deeper black emanating from the centre of the whirlpool.

The table spills its contents onto half of the floor. Why did they design the sim to be so frustrating? I am angry at myself for not standing on the other side. My hands are starting to burn now. I grab the cable and make a clumsy one-handed loop with it. I throw the cable around like a lasso, fervently hoping for it to catch onto something. After a few futile tries, I chuck the cable into the vortex with frustration. Maybe calming myself down will make the sim move on.

Around twenty seconds pass. I calmed myself down but my arms may pop out of their sockets any moment now. I think frantically, how am I supposed to make use of the other things? I look around for the piece of bread but it refuses to show itself.

I glance below but the vortex exudes pure, unadulterated terror. This almost looks like what the gateway to hell would be. I close my eyes and suddenly mom appears behind my eyes.

"Dear, there are situations in life where you need to go with the flow or fight against them." Mom says with a smile.

Go with the flow, she said. I may jump into the hole right now or I could try to get out of it. The tools provided seem useless but the whirlpool is frighteningly scary. So, I take a leap of faith and let go.

The inside of the vortex seems even darker than the outside, if that is possible. I can feel my pupils dilating as far as they would go, desperately searching for a sliver of light. I go completely blind, not able to distinguish arms from legs.

It is said that the whole life of a person flashes behind their eyes just before death. The same happens with me, my mind refusing to believe that I am in a simulation. I feel like a third person in my life, just viewing the story, not able to make changes to the plot. I regret my choice right now and think it was nice living for sixteen years.

I suddenly find myself on solid ground. The relief I felt was like a cool drink of water after three days of thirst. The light stings my eyes. I thank mom for that piece of advice. I thank the Creator for making moms the wisest beings in the world.

I stand in my Abnegation room. I am clad in my blue clothes. The feeling is surreal; I never expected anything other than grey to be visible in my old house. I stare outside the window; the sight is exactly the same as I remember from my room.

Dad enters the room; he says nothing about my blue clothes. He narrates an article that the Erudite printed in the newspapers.

'Hoarding Supplies in the Name of Selflessness?' His voice takes an irritated tone.

Dad gives his opinion on the article, repeating old habits.

"The journalist at the Erudite publishing house apparently found a secret warehouse but doesn't care to supply a picture."

"He says the foundation of Abnegation principles have been built on completely shaky ground."

"The people of Abnegation seem to show how nobler-than-thou they are, in front of others. In their homes, they must be no better than the factionless who are completely destroying the system from the inside." Dad talks like a snobbish Erudite reporter.

"What do you think, son?" Dad has a habit of giving his opinion as well as asking the opinion of others.

Time to be diplomatic here. One of my first reasons of transferring to Erudite was to put at rest the rumours concerning Abnegation. I need to defend them subtly, so as to not look like a 'Stiff'. The reply is in my head but this may hurt Dad.

"The Erudite must be partly, although not completely true in their article." I say without a hint of emotion.

Dad must think that his own son has betrayed him. I know it must have seemed rather heartless when I said that. I have a sudden desire to burn these blue clothes. With every passing day at Erudite, my family appears to drift farther away from me. I sit on my bed, moping and doubting myself.

The simulation ends. I reckon my family wouldn't recognise me, if they come on visiting day. The 'if' condition applies yet again here. I don't pay attention to whatever Aster said, I just saw her moving mouth. My brain refused to take in its surroundings, given the shards of painful emotions it has to sort through.

I sit near Tristan. He sees my pale face and decides to not initiate any conversation. I could kick Jeanine right now if I knew Erudite initiation would be so painful. The first day and I am a bundle of ticking anger, waiting to explode at any moment. The simulations are so strange here; they put you in hypothetical situations and force you to make hypothetical choices which have no effect in your real life. All this is done in the name of testing.

I know I am rambling endlessly now. I construct a mental wall, not daring to cry in front of the others. My face is an emotionless mask which would look pretty scary to anyone who doesn't know me. Even Tristan shifts a foot away and goes near Anahita to talk. She is not crying, her face is normal but she is uninterested in the conversation.

People move into the room one by one. Everyone looks traumatised while coming out. Half of the initiates have red eyes. The average time of every sim is about ten to twelve minutes.

I think about the last situation. I know it was to determine where my loyalties lie. Aster said that I would have to fight against past experiences. My past experiences were to stay out of the discussion and defend Abnegation vehemently when required. This one was certainly different. I defended Erudite and stayed neutral for Abnegation somehow.

It is Tristan's turn now. I give him a smile and a thumbs-up. He walks into the room. The wooden door is closed. I wonder what my time was. I sit near Anahita, hoping to distract myself from the simulation.

"Hey, Anahita" I say in a neutral tone, not wanting to fake too much enthusiasm in such a grim environment.

"Hey, Caleb" Her usual Amity joy is missing. That proves she is human and not high on peace serum.

"Did you, by any chance, time how much time I took to pass the sim?"

"Your time was eleven minutes, fifty seven seconds."

"Thank you so much. Tristan is taking a bit longer, eh?"

She doesn't reply. I never learnt how to initiate intelligent conversation. I punch myself (mentally, of course) and shift away from her seat.

Tristan comes out, his time being near to fifteen minutes. His face is pale. Alev reminds us that we need to face the entrance test shortly.

"So Caleb, what happened yesterday night?" He asks the million dollar question.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, off to the title mystery! The chapter title was taken from 'Welcome to the Black Parade', one of my favourite My Chemical Romance Songs. This chapter title will be revealed in the next one. You can expect an update every 5-7 days now. I decided to do this thing from now. Every chapter will have a song title, with probably one or two words changed. Guesses can be sent in the reviews. Guess this one. This one's a Green Day song, the month today gives you a clue!
> 
> Thank you for reading the story,
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	7. I Don't Know Where I'm Going But I Don't Think I'm Coming Home

** Caleb’s POV **

“I’ll tell you later. Come on, we have an entrance exam to face.” I say.

“Tell me Caleb, I won’t tell anyone else.” Tristan replies with the insistence of a schoolgirl and a Candor lawyer rolled into one.

“Would you like to share with us the matter you were discussing, Mr. Prior and Mr. Dominic?” Alev says with a reprimanding glare. I am surprised he went the trouble to memorise the name of every initiate.

“Initiates, it is lunch time now. You are free to go and have your lunch.”

            We enter the cafeteria. The initiate tables resemble a funeral service. The conversation is subdued to what you would see in the Chapel in the Abnegation sector. Everyone employs their own methods while dealing with the aftermath of their first simulation. The methods applied here always involve irritable silence in one way or another. There is a second type of people, I’ll-pick-you-up-when-the-world-lets-you-down kind who tries to make everyone else happy but there is an acute absence of that sort. Not that I was the oblivious, happy Amity guy. I’m happy that everyone else has left me alone for once.

            Anahita is staring at a fixed point in the distance and Tristan has his head down on the table, uninterested in the food. I know that I would spend time scavenging for food if I don’t eat now. I go to the counter and grab a plate.

            I put a plain boiled egg and some bread and butter on my plate. I dump some tomato-flavoured oatmeal on it too. It looks rather breakfast-y but I don’t care. Damn snobby people and their silly ‘etiquette’ rules. The moment something contains an egg, it is breakfast exclusivity.

            I go to my table and stare at the food I chose. It is a typical Abnegation breakfast, except the oatmeal would be plain. My day began with this very same plate of food but the egg was given only once or twice a week, whenever mom felt generous. Maybe my subconscious wanted something familiar. The only time I see mom is in the simulations and that too is conjured by my brain. I know the image would gradually get distorted, noses elongated, ears getting pointy, eyes more severe, whatever my imagination deems worthy. The final stage would be the image fading until it is no longer there.

            I shake the frightening thought out of my head. How could it be that the people who have the most influence on our lives fade away? It all depends on the brain and its untrustworthy memory that betrays you the moment when you try to visualise the face of a person you know and love dearly.

            I eat the food and its similar taste is bittersweet. It reminds me of a long talk with my mom or chucking some of the oatmeal at Beatrice behind mom’s back. I cannot speak with the homely taste flooding my mouth. It makes me smile in this grim atmosphere but I suppress it, I wouldn’t want people thinking of me as crazy or sadistic.

            Lunch ends in silent misery. Tristan and Anahita are too sad to talk to me or anyone else.

“Initiates, please stand in a line. Erudite born initiates, please lead the transfers to Examination Room 1.”

We get into a line. Erudite appears so obsessive-compulsive. Everything is in neat little rows, daring anyone to nudge them out of place. He leads us out of the corridor we are in into another one. We pass the main hall and the comm desk. I see so many things I didn’t notice before like the wood panelled floors and the huge ten-by-fifteen metre portrait of Jeanine Matthews, her condescending eyes polluting any civil conversation in the hall. We go into the opposite side of the main hall. Alev leads us into the corridor of this side. There are three rooms on this side, each having a chrome label which reads ‘Examination Room 1’ ‘Examination Room 2’ and ‘Examination Room 3’.

“Initiates, you are requested to enter ‘Examination Room 1’ and take a seat in there.” Alev says.

            We enter the test room. It is huge, probably equal to the cafe in size. The room has white walls, blue benches arranged in neat rows and a huge whiteboard which possibly doubles up as a projector screen. It also has two exits/entrances, one leading to the main hall and the other leading to another huge room like this. The benches are standard school single-seater ones, painted blue. I take a seat and Anahita sits on the bench beside me. Tristan sits on the bench in front of me. He gives me a look which clearly says, ‘You won’t get away with this.’ I mirror his look and he turns forward.

“Could you tell me what this top-secret business of yours is?” Anahita says.

“I’ll tell you later, Anahita. We have a test to face right now.”

“One more word and you are in deep trouble, Mr. Prior and Miss Carrin.” Alev says. It’s so unfortunate that I get caught whenever I try to undertake a sneaky venture.

“You will get three hours to complete thirty questions each of math and science. Reading time is an extra ten minutes. Math has three sections, Arithmetic, Algebra and Geometry with ten questions each. Science has three sections, Physics, Chemistry and Biology with ten questions each.”

“You are provided with necessary stationery. I expect this case to be with you whenever you are attending a class.”

He distributes a sheet of paper and the question paper to each desk. I see that a geometry box with stationery is already kept on the desk. He comes to my place and gives me the question paper.

“I dare you to try any illegal business in this examination.” Alev says.

“I’ll be careful, sir.” I shoot a half-thought reply.

            He gives me a question paper and a couple of blank answer sheets. I think the warning was reserved especially for me. I need to put a filter on my mouth, rather Tristan and Anahita need to. I look at the math section first. Better to tackle the difficult part first. I can handle the geometry part easily. I look at the Arithmetic part; most of the problems are from Middle levels and the first year of Upper levels. The Algebra part is from Upper Levels. I can do Algebra fairly well. Math is somewhat difficult and easy; they wouldn’t want half of the students to fail on the first test.

            Alev finishes distributing the papers. He looks around for a bit and announces with a booming voice,

“Your reading time begins now, initiates.” His voice reverberates around the room.

            There is a large clock in the room. The time is shown as 1.00 pm. Reading time will be ten minutes, so the exam will commence at 1.10 pm. It will end at 4.10 pm.    

I read the Science half. Physics mostly comprises of numerical problems and very less theoretical questions. Chemistry has a couple of experiments in it and mostly theoretical questions. I read on to my favourite subject, Biology. It has five questions on plant biology and five questions on animal biology. Both are on the cellular level, so I guess it is Upper Levels Biology.

“Your reading time is up, answer the questions right now.” Alev says, scaring the crap out of everyone who was attentively reading the paper. Probably was his intention to start the day with a little scare.

            I take the pen in my hand and start on the answer sheet. There are codes in the margin of every page, perhaps for some computer to scan. I fill in my name and other details. It also asks for faction of origin. Huh, another way to make it known to the world that I am a Stiff.

             I take a deep breath, concentrate myself and start writing the answers, beginning with Arithmetic. I solve the ones which are doable and leave some space for a couple. I finish those questions in forty five minutes. I really need to solve the paper fast if I hope to have some time left for revising it and solving the ones I left.

            I start with Algebra. The first question is a pair of simple linear equations in two variables. I know that if the beginning of a section is easy, then you are going to spend the rest of the time scratching your head for the questions that follow. A really evil trick on the teacher’s part. The easy questions are just to give an ego boost to the student.

            I look at the questions that follow, I was right. They are difficult as Daedalus’s labyrinth in Greek mythology. Not that I know where Greece is or who this Daedalus guy was. Enough getting distracted, I solve four questions out of that section. I leave space for five. Another thirty minutes down the proverbial drain. I am running behind schedule.

            I start with the geometry part. The first question is ‘prove the Pythagoras theorem and write the five postulates of Euclid’. I construct a right angled triangle and solve the problem. I can’t remember the last Euclidean postulate. After a while it comes to me and I write that down. The examiner is going to have a really hard time deciphering my handwriting. I finish the geometry section in half an hour.

            Maths done, I move on to the Science section. Physics is hard but I do the numerical problems with ease. I didn’t have to leave questions out for the second round. The theoretical part is imprinted in my brain. It was a simple matter of extracting the information. I get it done in twenty minutes.

            Chemistry is a piece of cake. I draw a few diagrams and write the experiments that follow.  The provided chemical reactions required very less effort. I finished the Chemistry part in fifteen minutes.

            I move onto my favourite part, Biology. I have everything committed to memory. I write the questions in my own words and make four diagrams. There was an experiment in it too, ‘prove that the stems of a plant show capillary action’. It is something easier than a piece of cake. I guess it is Abnegation rice pudding. I finish the Bio part in fifteen minutes.

            I go to the second round. I solve the couple of arithmetic questions I left space for. I dread looking at the Algebra section. I solve two questions and leave three. Those three are not going to be solved by me. Let those stupid marks go.

            I lay my head down on the table and think about those questions. I have half an hour left but I cannot come up with anything, any algebraic identity or a hint to help. I give up on those questions and decide to look around.

            Tristan sits in front of me and is writing frantically. He is possibly stuck on the Algebra section like me. Anahita sits there with her head down. I look around for the beautiful girl whose name I do not know. She must be sitting behind me. I cannot turn back as it would guarantee a warning from Alev.

            I look to the person I despise, Xander. He is talking and signalling to someone, probably his hand-in-glove. I think whether to warn Alev or not. It wouldn’t be publicly, I don’t want Xander to become more hostile towards me than he already is. I imagine how I would get him caught by informing Alev inconspicuously. A brilliant idea strikes my mind.

            I note Alev’s position. He stands behind me right now. My plan is to catch his eye and look towards Xander.

            Alev comes to the front now. I look at him. He is stoic and pretends not to look at me. I hold his gaze and point at Xander. Xander is busy talking to his minion.

“What do you suppose you are doing there, Mr. Horowitz and Mr. Flintoff?”

            Xander gets a heart attack. I love seeing his expression in moments like these. His face is an ideal example of a guilty person. His hands tremble slightly in dread and shock. He realises the consequences now.

“Both of you will be taken to Miss Aster’s office right now. Your report will be sent to Miss Jeanine’s office from there.” Alev says.

            Xander gets up from his place but his usual acidic tongue has vanished. He didn’t even try to defend himself.

“I was just asking for a pencil, wasn’t I, Xander?” His crony defends himself and Xander.

“Yes, Alev, I was just giving him a pen. Rick is right.”

            That seems more like Xander. So his friend’s name is Rick.

“You were provided with stationery and it became such a long conversation while giving him a pen?” Alev voices his doubts.

“Your punishment may be increased for telling a lie.” Alev says. I think he really doesn’t like liars.

“Initiates, you may continue writing your examination. An extra ten minutes will be provided.”

Their defences have been blown out of the sky. They launch into the usual ramble of ‘sorry and I would not do it again’. They are taken into Aster’s office. The room is left unsupervised for a couple of minutes but nobody dares to open his or her mouth.      

            I finished writing my exam now and gave up on those three problems. I put my head down on the table and try to sleep for a while.

            I am woken up by a hand on my arm. The hand belongs to Alev.

“Done sleeping, initiate?” He makes it known to the whole room.

            I hand the paper to him with a sheepish expression. I wipe my eyes and pack the stationery into the case. Tristan hands Alev his paper and looks at me.

“How did the exam go?”

            I am so relieved he asked me a different question.

“It went well; I left out three problems in the Algebra section.”

            Anahita decides to join the conversation now.

“How did your exam go, Anahita?” Tristan and I say this line at the exact same time.

“It went really well, I am surprised I was able to solve the math section, although I left out three problems.”

“Which three did you both leave?” Tristan asks.

“I left out number 5, 8 and 9 in the algebra section.” I say.

“I left out the same ones. What about you, Tristan?”

“I solved those three questions but I know that they are wrong.”

“Initiates, you can get out of the hall now. You are free to do whatever you like but tomorrow you have a test on English, Government and Computer science.” Alev says.

            We get out of the hall. I grab my case. I try to evade Tristan’s interrogation by turning to the direction of the library.

“Where are you going, Mister?”

“I was just off to the library to study.”

“Please tell me about this top secret business.” Anahita says.

“I wasn’t able to sleep so I went outside for a stroll.” I lie. Thank goodness I don’t have any Candor friends. Tristan seems to accept this explanation.

“What about you? Why were you awake?” I say.

“Same as you, Caleb, I couldn’t sleep and I had gone to take a drink of water.”

“Both of you gave such an uninteresting explanation. At least you could have told me that you were overhearing spies while on a mission as a secret agent.” Anahita tells us.

“Don’t let your imagination run away with you. This is Erudite, where people accept hard facts, not imagination.” I say in the manner I would scold Beatrice.

            She was partly true. I had gone to overhear someone after all. I wonder why I got so defensive.

“I need to go to the library right now.”

            I excuse myself from the pair. I go to the dorm and keep the case in the glass cabinet.

            I wander outside the main building and find something else I didn’t notice earlier. Beneath the large portrait of Jeanine Matthews lies a fairly large plague which reads ‘knowledge leads to prosperity’. Huh, prosperity. They keep all the prosperity to themselves.

I go into the park outside. The park is barren with weird metal sculptures and concrete benches.

            There are two rusted metal sculptures there. One looks like an abstract mammoth and the other one is really weird. It is shaped like an enormous lima bean. Lima beans of all things. Couldn’t they make something better?

I see a lot of little children jumping around on the mammoth and a few on the concrete benches. The mammoth is shaped as such that it simply compels children to play on it. There are a lot of them behind the thick legs and even more beneath the belly. A few brave souls try to climb the forelegs but they are smooth and do not offer any friction.

People sit on the concrete benches. Most of them are absorbed in their tablet computers but I spy a few book readers among them. Some couples are openly holding hands and a few teenagers are kissing. Gross. I turn away from them as if I wasn’t a member of the vast teenage group myself. My inner Abnegation is showing now. Abnegation gives the impression of a little city within the city. Everything was so different. We weren’t allowed to hold hands until after marriage.

            The whole place is a poor excuse for a park. At least they could have planted some grass here. I take a walk around the whole complex. There are four apartment buildings with seven stories in each building. They are on each side of the main building. I go to the back of the main building. There is an automobile manufacturing unit, an automobile research and testing lab and a miscellaneous manufacturing unit, possibly where all the electronic equipment, lab equipment et cetera is made.

            Large white signboards announce the names and purposes of the three buildings. I would like to go into the automobile unit someday to learn a thing or two. The cars made there are sleek, solar-powered models. They are usually given to high officials, preferably Erudite ones.

            I should stop getting distracted. My aim was to go to the library and look where I ended up.

            I turn in the opposite direction and walk towards the main building. The now familiar area is filled with people, even more than there usually are. It may be for a special cause or something.

            I enter the library and go to the government section and grab two thick books on government. One is an old edition, possibly from fifty years ago and the other one is new edition, not older than a year or so. I am trying to find out the differences between the factions in this time span. I take those two books into my arms and take those to a table. I read a few pages on each faction. I read the Abnegation section in both the books. Book one is hold a neutral view on this faction while book two has a different stand concerning the Abnegation. Book two is something you could call masked propaganda. The information is not false although the author takes those principles and compares them to others. This should never be done in unbiased media. The factions coexist together and bring peace in this manner. One faction should not strive to prove itself superior. I look at the author’s name. It is our dear Jeanine Matthews.

            Similarly, Erudite is shown in an overly positive light. The author compares it again to other factions. It makes Erudite seem like utopia and brushes off the shortcomings of this faction. I wonder what Jeanine aims to do by publishing material like this. The other factions are pretty much the same but the second book provides more information on each one.

            The first book has a section on the factionless too. Although they are not a faction, their place in the social ladder is mentioned in this book. The factionless live in the factionless sector of the city. Their main source of income is fabric weaving. This book also says that the factionless children are turned over to the government so they could have a fair chance in life. Most of them end up in Abnegation. I didn’t know that. I guess I was wrong when I thought that they remained factionless. It would be so heartbreaking for the parents of these children. They would have to live without their children until death. Even if they got a chance to meet their child, the kid wouldn’t recognise them.

            The new book doesn’t have a section on the factionless. I decide that I would study from the old book. I finish studying the first chapter of each faction and find that two hours have passed.

            I go to the computer section and grab a book on information technology. I run through it quickly. I know most of the stuff already. I decide to take a break for a while.

            I look around and see that the beautiful girl is sitting opposite to me. Now is the perfect opportunity to ask her name. I need to come up with a suitable excuse for doing so.

“May I take this book which is kept beside you?” I say, pointing to a green coloured book which says, ‘Julius Caesar’ by Shakespeare.

“Oh yeah, sure” She says. Her voice is lovely, low and high and beautiful at the same time.

“May I ask your name?” She asks me.

“I am Caleb Prior, and you are?”

“I am Rhiannon White, nice to meet you.”

“It is nice to meet you as well.” I say.

Rhiannon. I glance into her hazel eyes for a second. I wonder what it would be like to be her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is how I give an examination. I was shaken awake by a teacher once. The name of the mysterious girl is finally revealed! Guess the reference in this chapter. The last one was a song ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends’ by Green Day. It's from their album 'American Idiot'. As you would have guessed from my Daedalus mention, I am a huge Percy Jackson fan.  
> Reviews of all kinds are appreciated,  
> TheVibrantNight


	8. Too Weird To Leave Too Shy To Talk

** Caleb’s POV **

I barely managed to avoid stuttering while speaking to her. She goes back to her book. It is a book on automobiles and engine parts. She wears a plain black shirt with dark navy jeans. I don’t even understand what the title of it means. I don’t consider myself as someone who stereotypes but I didn’t think that she would be reading this kind of book. This girl stumps me at every step.

“I find you in the library so often.” She says.

“The same could be said of you.” I say, attempting to steer the conversation away from me. I need to know more about Rhiannon.

“Yes, I do enjoy myself in the library, although online versions of each book in this library could be found on the intranet.”

“It is a blessing then, not finding any talking people in a library.” I say, in a mysterious tone. I really like that we are the only two people in the library, save for that batty old librarian.

“I don’t know about the blessing but it is kind of the only place where you can find peace.” She says.

“All of the statements you said right now are completely correct. I came here to escape the pair I call my friends. They can get really annoying sometimes.” I let the conversation flow; never did I talk to someone whom I met for the first time with such ease.

“Oh really, Caleb? Do you want me ratting it out to them? Who are they anyway?” She says cheekily.

“I trust you enough that you wouldn’t, Rhiannon. They are a pair known as Tristan Dominic and Anahita Carrin.”

“I don’t know them. Are they Transfers?”

“Right you are, once again. Anahita is an Amity transfer. She is the one with the red curly hair and green eyes. Tristan is a Dauntless transfer. He is tall and has brown hair cropped so short that it is almost nonexistent. I could take you to meet them someday.”

“You are also a Transfer, right?” She says.

“Yes, I am an Abnegation transfer but an Erudite initiate.” I ramble. I am really testing the waters now. I wait for her to go out of the library and away from me. She doesn’t.

“Tell me about your friends, Rhiannon.”

“I guess I spent too much time in the library to actually make any.” She says.

“Well, this is my favourite place too. Tell me about your favourite places in the whole compound.” I say.

“My favourite places are the library, obviously, the automobile forge and the vending machines.”

“Hey, I didn’t see any vending machines here.”

“There are, you just don’t know about them.”

“The automobile forge, huh?”

“Yes, my Dad works there. I can show you around someday.”

“I saw that today and was a really fascinating place. I didn’t go inside though.”

“What book were you reading right now?” I change the topic; I don’t want to talk about Dad.

“I don’t want talking and flirting inside the library.” The librarian says.

            Both of us develop a deep pink blush. I can feel the blood flowing into my cheeks. All my courage is lost right now. I wasn’t like this with Susan. She comes to my thoughts after so many days. Earlier my days were filled with her thoughts. She was the one who I thought I loved. My cruel mind wasn’t correct on that matter.

            I notice a weird irony here. Susan was Susan Black while Rhiannon is Rhiannon White. Black and White, I can’t help thinking there is strange sorcery at play here. I gather my wits and resume the conversation.

“I was asking, what book are you reading right now?”

“Oh, it is just a book on automobile engines. I hope to work in the forge someday.”

“Aren’t you studying for the government, English and computer test tomorrow?”

“Nah, I’m going to ad lib it, or in other words, wing it.” She says.

“How did your entrance exam go?” I gather you are good at Physics when you read such complicated books on automobiles.” I say. That girl is way too smart for me.

“You guessed right. The whole paper went well. Biology not my thing so I left three questions in it. Physics and Math are my favourite subjects.”

“You like math?” I say, incredulous.

“Yeah, I like math. What’s wrong with it?”

“I guess math is ‘not my thing’. My favourite subject is Biology.” I put air quotes around not my thing. That is a phrase which is relatively unused in intelligent Erudite conversation.

“Really, then help me with those three Biology questions.” She says.

“Help me with the math ones then” I say. It is a futile exercise since the paper’s already gone to check but it may help me later.

“Alright” We say with a second between each one.

            I go to the main desk. I glance at the old librarian. I don’t think she finds many visitors here. I ask for a piece of paper and a pen. She readily hands me some.

“Let me bring the question paper from the dorm.” I say to her. Somehow I feel reluctant leaving the library. It must be the smell of old books.

            I run to the dorm quickly and pluck the question paper out of the cabinet.

“Where are you off to?” Anahita asks.

“To the library” I speak.

“In such a hurry?” Anahita replies.

“Hey, that rhymed!” She exclaims.

“I really need to go now; we can make crazy rhymes later.” She must like poetry very much.

            I enter the library with pen, paper and question paper in hand.

“I come bearing arms. As the saying goes, the pen is mightier than the sword.” I say at the risk of sounding cheesy.

“Alright hyperactive soldier, calm down and come to the table now. I remember you needed help with some math problems.”

            I mark the problems I need help with and hand the paper to her. She asks for the blank sheet and solves those problems in seven minutes.

“These are the solutions to your problems.” She marks the Bio questions and hands the question paper to me. I turn the paper to the other side and write the answers down.

            I look at the math solutions. How could I miss such a simple process? Now that the answers have been handed out to me, I can see how easy the questions were.

            I give the paper to her. She has a similar expression of ‘how did I miss that?’ on her face.

“I seem to have a really hard time decoding your handwriting.” She says.

“Hey, even doctors have bad handwriting.” I defend.

I look at the clock. I see that forty five minutes have passed talking to this girl. I really need to concentrate on my studies now. I try to read the IT book I had brought with me but it fails to grab my attention. My mind is focused on that girl sitting in front of me. She looks so pretty sitting here, reading that book. I bet she likes to get her hands dirty in the automobile forge.

“So, will you come here tomorrow, Caleb?” She asks.

“Oh yeah, sure, same place, same time”

“I need to go now. It was very nice meeting you.”

“It was really nice meeting you as well. Shall I call you my friend?” I say, my heart going in a nervous flutter at the last sentence.

“Oh yeah, goodbye, friend” She says.

            Friend. For once I made a friend so easily. I remember it took me two weeks to say hello to Susan in Lower Levels. I used to always stick with Beatrice then, since we were in the same class. Beatrice and I used to be the best of friends when we were very young. After that, we drifted apart. I became the scolding brother and she the meek sister. Her true colours came to light when she chose Dauntless. Mine came out the same way when I chose Erudite. I just hope that she is happy there.

             Rhiannon leaves the library with purpose in her stride. I go out of the library reluctantly. Rhiannon is so easy to talk to. I head towards the dorm and go inside. Anahita and Tristan are sitting there. Anahita nudges Tristan’s temple in a ‘you’re crazy’ way. They look so happy together. I bet they would become more than friends. Well, I am not going to play Cupid here. Let them sort it out. They look at me while I enter the dorm.

“Where were you?” Tristan says.

“In the library” I say.

“For so long? Why didn’t you join us? I discovered that you could get every book present in the library by downloading that book onto your tablet computer. I was reading a book on my tab a while ago.” Tristan babbles like a four year old in a sixteen year old self.

“Whoa, one question at a time. Your lung function will get impaired if you speak like that.” I say jokingly.

“Don’t worry about my lungs. I find it hard to believe that you were in the library for so long, with only books for company.” Tristan points his eyebrows skyward.

“Actually, I was talking to someone. She helped me solve those three math problems.”

“She?” His eyebrows develop a suggestive wiggle.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Her name is Rhiannon White and I found her in the library, rather, she found me.”

“Invite her to our table at dinner. A lot of places are empty anyway.” Tristan says.

“Is that why you were off to the library in such a hurry?” Anahita asks.

“No, I just wanted the questions solved. Speaking of questions, here are the answers to those three problems.”

            I hand the paper over to them. They get the same ‘how did I miss that’ expressions on their faces.

“Didn’t realise they were so easy, probably the easiest in the whole paper.” Anahita says.

“Don’t you think ‘easiest’ is stretching it a bit too far?” I say.

“Nope. I just missed those three sums.” She says.

“What are your favourite subjects?” Tristan asks.

“English and Biology and yours?”

“Biology, really? Mine are computer science and anything related to technology. Don’t tell anyone but I hacked into my friend’s computer once. I won’t disclose the name of that friend.” Tristan gets a mischievous smile on his face.

“Hey, computer’s my favourite subject too. Even I hacked into my dad’s computer once. There was nothing useful in there, just some floor plans and a weird animal immunisation chart.”   

Both of them seem like a really valuable asset if I plan to gather information on divergence. I don’t know a bit about hacking computers and I know that the most valuable information would be on Jeanine’s personal computer. The first step would be trusting him and her with the secret. I decide to wait a few days before doing that.

“Hey, what’s wrong with Biology?”

“I won’t say because you would be defending Bio, all of us would get in an argument, Anahita would be the peacemaker and we would get in trouble with Alev.” He presents a rational argument. I can’t deny its correctness.

“Initiates, you are requested to report to the main hall right now.”

“What the hell? Today’s stuff is over, right?”

“Looks like it isn’t and no swearing please.” Anahita says.

“Oh come on, what is wrong?” Tristan asks.

“Make line fast, initiates! Jeanine Matthews is going to give a speech.” Alev shouts to make the whole dorm known.

We get into a line quickly. Everyone is grumbling at the sudden announcement. Alev takes the role of a Dauntless soldier as a lot of headless-chickenry can be seen here.

Alev leads us into the main hall. A small podium is set there with a microphone ready. Jeanine stands aside the podium with her haughty expression and waits for all of the others. After a long time, everyone comes in and is riled into rows. Jeanine adjusts the microphone and clears her throat to begin something evil.

“Welcome initiates, please keep quiet until I finish and then I will allow questions.”

“For so many years, we have been governed by the Abnegation.”

            Oh no. All that crap again. I can see a few people glancing over to me, especially that weird guy Xander.

“As I published a few newspaper articles regarding them, I have found definite proof of an Abnegation storehouse where goods are hoarded.”

Oh @%#&! (I censored my thoughts because they probably weren’t suitable anywhere in this city except the Dauntless dinner hall.) She shows a picture on the white walls where a projector is focusing on the wall. It shows a grey coloured factionless building. It shows some Abnegation and some factionless standing before its entrance, nothing else, no suspicious vehicles etc. This picture was most likely taken when the Abnegation were volunteering.

            This is silly. I bet someone will raise his/her hand and ask me totally useless questions. The only motive for displaying this picture would be casting Abnegation in a really bad light. Again, what does Jeanine aim to do?

“As we can see, Abnegation is the complete example of abject falsehood.” Jeanine says. Oh, how I would love to strangle her. I completely missed the entire speech. I didn’t want to hear it anyway.

“Do you have any questions, initiates?”  
            Xander raises his hand. I would love to swear at him but I control myself.

“I have a question for Caleb Prior, the Abnegation transfer.” He asks for permission to continue.

“Present your question, Mr. Horowitz.”

“How would you justify this piece of incriminating evidence?” He has a huge sneer on his face. I would love to kick that off his face. I can hear a lot of “Answer that now!” from the other initiates. I gear myself up and craft a reply in my head. When I’ve done that, I start.

“First of all, I wasn’t present there when this picture was taken. Just because I belong to Abnegation doesn’t mean I am responsible for these actions. This picture was taken possibly when the Abnegation were providing food to the factionless. I can advocate for that. I had volunteered myself a lot of times.”

            I am so relieved that I calmed those probable panic attacks. Tristan and Anahita smile at me. I glance over to Rhiannon; she smiles a little bit at me too.

“Your answer is satisfactory” Jeanine admits defeat.

I can see a lot of poisonous glances from the Erudite born and Jeanine’s subordinates. Alev is standing with his usual stoic face.

“Initiates, you are dismissed for dinner.” Alev speaks.

            We go outside the main hall and into the cafe. Tristan slaps me on the back and shakes my hand.

“That reply was awesome!” He congratulates me.

“I’d rather say it was intelligent.” Anahita says.

“Come on, let’s grab some food.” I change the topic once again.

I get whatever looks good and dump it on my plate. I make my way to the table and sit down. I eat that silently, reflecting over what I said. I think that sated Jeanine for a while but I know that more sharp jabs would be coming. I must have gotten higher on Xander’s hit list. I see Rhiannon on the side table on the wall farthest to the centre. Tristan nudges my elbow when he sees me staring at her.

“What are you waiting for, Christmas?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll sweep her off her feet on Christmas.” I say in jest.

“Come on, call her to the table.” Anahita encourages me,

I gather whatever remnants of courage were left in me and go to her place. I take a deep breath (Whoa, am I reciting a mantra?) and open my mouth.

“Hey, would you like to join us at our table?”

She seems to be shaken awake from a trance. Her food lies uneaten before her and she is in deep concentration. Her eyes stop glazing over and she smacks her hand up and touches my nose, barely. She realises what she did and snaps awake. Her hand was so warm. _You’re falling for her_. The weird part of my brain replies.

“Oh hey, Caleb. Did I hurt you?”

“No worries miss. Would you like to join us at our table?”

“Oh sure. Let me grab my tray along.”

            She takes her tray and I lead her to our table. Funny, I didn’t see any of her friends on that table. I can see a lot of strange glances at us. I wish I could shout at them, “I am not an alien nor is she!” but as always, I force myself to remain calm.

“Oh hey, are you the one that helped this Biology nerd in solving the math problems?” Tristan asks.

“Yes” She sits on the table after finishing this brief reply.

“What’s your name?” Anahita greets her with a smile.

“I am Rhiannon White, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well.” She replies.

“I am guessing you must be Anahita Carrin and he must be Tristan Dominic right?”

“Right you are. I guess it is hard to mess that up since I am a girl and he is a boy.” Anahita says.

“Oh sure” Rhiannon gives a big smile.

“Why are you quiet? Make her drop to her knees with your charm.” Tristan whispers in my ear.

“Oh sure, I would be lucky if I managed not to stammer and a guy who took aeons to ask Anna’s name is giving me lessons how to charm a girl.” I reply. It’s true; I cannot be charming or suave how hard I try. Tristan bumps my head away when I mention Anahita.

“What is going on there?” The people in question, Anna and Rhiannon ask us.

“Oh, nothing. It is probably something you wouldn’t want to hear cause it’s pretty gross.” Tristan makes a story about the conversation.

“Okay Rhiannon, never mind this goofball. So, what stuff do you like to eat?” Anna asks.

“I like ice-cream very much. I could live on it for days but on second thoughts I’d be having a sugar high multiplied by a hundred.”

            Oh man. This girl is on another level. Which girl is honest about liking ice-cream so much?

“I tasted ice-cream a few days earlier and even I liked it.” I contribute my first piece to the conversation.

                                                                  ...

            Dinner ends. I go to the transfer dorm and head towards my bed. I can’t help but have a big and loopy smile on my face. I open the tablet to do some research I see that a huge smiley with its tongue stuck out is displayed on it. There is a timer set on the screen which shows that it will start only after an hour. This is why Tristan didn’t disclose the name of the friend whose computer he hacked.

“TRISTAN DOMINIC! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY TABLET?” I go to him with a punch on his face on my agenda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like it? The reference in the last chapter was from 'Alone Together' from their album Save Rock And Roll. Guess this one. It's an album. Sorry, said too much.  
> All kinds of reviews accepted and loved,  
> TheVibrantNight


	9. Too Weird To Leave Female Version

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Presenting to you, *drum rolls and whoops* Rhiannon's POV!

** Rhiannon’s POV **

She knew that this day wasn’t going to be good. Call it female intuition or anything else, she just felt weird. She was almost always right on this matter. The last time it got confirmed wasn’t a pretty sight. Rhiannon got up from her bed and prayed for her world to not be turned upside down or blown to pieces.

            Rhiannon was not a morning person but today she defeated the alarm clock. She was dreading the day and dreading the test. She was good at Math and Physics but she was unsure about the rest. Chemistry she could manage but she feared Biology very much. Those weird Latin or Greek names and those equally strange diagrams made no sense to her. Give her the diagram of a solar powered engine block and she would sail through. She had her own great ideas regarding improving the engine block. She would gather every bit of information on it via her dad. She wanted to reduce sand mining to obtain silicon for making those solar cells. She didn’t have any definite plan but she would come up with it someday.

            _Enough rambling about my great ideas. Those sexist idiots at the forge would drive me away._ She thought.

            It was true. She had gotten entrance into the forge at the age of fourteen only when her dad had called her in. After a couple of years, the workers had reluctantly accepted her in but still the occasional twisted comment would be directed her way. She had learnt to brush it off. She would show them someday.

She alighted from her bed and went into the bathroom. Her vision was a total blur, as it is every morning. As always, her hair had puffed up in a little mushroom or cloud, whatever you’d like to call it. She tamed her hair. She set her thick glasses upon her nose. It was pretty early, 6.30 am so she went for a talk with her family for a while. She silently crept outside the dorm and went outside the main building.  
            The park had a very few visitors at this hour. She liked an occasional early morning run and a few people were doing exactly that. They ignored her and she went into the apartment complex which was on the two sides of the main building. Her parents lived on the Eastern part of the complex. Even though the Eastern and Western wings of the complexes looked similar from the outside, the internal structure was completely different but these buildings had the same East and South facing windows and balconies. The convention was that the odd numbered complexes were on the West side and the even numbered ones on the East side. Jeanine knows why.

Her parents lived on the second building which was on the East side. She climbed to the fifth floor of the building and knocked at Apartment 5001. After a while of knocking, her mom opened the door with a sleep –laden face. Rhiannon entered the apartment and hugged her mom tight. She hadn’t seen her for two whole days. Her mom held on tightly.

“Hey mom, did you miss me?”

“Oh no, I didn’t miss my daughter whom I hadn’t seen for two days.” She says sarcastically but that doesn’t compare to her happiness. Her dad comes in checking to see what’s wrong.

“Hey dad, do you want to go to the forge with me after this initiation nonsense ends?”

“Oh sure, I would call initiation nonsense because it keeps you away from us.” He replies.

“Did you make some friends?” Her mom asks, her hazel eyes shining with concern.

“No, maybe today is my lucky day.” She tries to justify the weird feeling in the morning as a stroke of good luck. Although this raven-haired guy always seemed to find her in the library.

“Okay, child but I want to see you with a group of friends when this ends!’ Her mom adds inflection and a sort of deadline to her words.

“I am going to check on my brother.”

            She enters her brother’s room and trains her eyes around it. The familiar blue walls and familiar pictures of so many things stuck to the wall smile at her. She finds her brother’s clipboard. She flexes it and brings it close to his ear. It explodes with a big ‘ _snap!_ ’

“Wake up and smell the roses, big brother! Guess who is here?”

“Stop it, Rhiannon. I really need to sleep right now.” He replies groggily.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! I need to talk to you.” She takes a seat on the corner of his bed.

“What happened that you arrived in my room so early in the morning? If you think I am going to give you hints about initiation then forget about it.”

“I’m not here to talk about that, Alev.” Her brother had the most infallible moral compass in all of Erudite.

            Alev messed her short hair in a typical big-brother way. His blue eyes were so glad to have an uncensored conversation at least once with his dear sister. She was five years younger but they treated each other as equals from a very small age, not like their parents who patronised them sometimes. Even more so when that tragic incident happened.

            _No. Don’t think about that._ She blocked it out just the way she had taught herself.

“So, how is it going?”

“Fine, I just wanted to talk to you about...” Alev cuts her off.

“If you are going to talk about what I think you are going to talk about then I’ll tell you after initiation. I am bound by rules which cannot be broken and I could lose my job. Meanwhile, let’s talk about something else.”

“What is there to talk about? I just spend all day in the library or in the forge. This initiation is so mentally and emotionally exhausting.”

“Okay, so don’t focus on the exhaustion. Have you prepared your Biology well?” Always the studious one. No wonder he got into Jeanine’s class and graduated in Math. She wanted to graduate in Physics and Math. No wonder both of them were so radically opposite to their mother, who was a successful animation artist. She had a studio in Erudite. She had visited it occasionally but the forge was her favourite place.

“No, those words don’t make sense to me.” She was nothing if not a first grade procrastinator in terms of Biology. A new engineering project would make her forget food and water while Bio simply failed to catch her attention.

“What will you do if you don’t study Bio?” Alev said jokingly although he also didn’t like Bio.

“Well, have you seen Jeanine’s new black car on the streets?”

And off they burst in jolly conversation, the likeness of it which cannot be experienced by anyone except a brother and sister. She glanced at the clock; it was late as in 7.45 am.

“Oh no. I have to go. Goodbye Alev.” She hugs his brother and gives him a good kiss on the cheek. Little did she know that it would be like kissing a cactus.

“My mouth hurts. Get rid of that unsightly stubble or are you trying to impress somebody?” She says while laying a hand on her mouth.

“Run away now. I have to do a lot of work.” He said.

“I should come here every morning, to make sure you show up presentable every day.”

“Ugh, please go and kiss mom on the cheek or someone okay?

She exits the room and heads towards the main door. She gives a kiss on her mom’s cheek. She would meet her dad later.

“Okay, I’ve got to go. See you later”

“I’ll need to keep you away from Alev so that you’ll actually talk to me next time. Make some friends, alright?” Her mom replies, happiness and the tiniest bit of concern in her eyes.

“Yeah, sure.” Rhiannon steps outside the door.

            The day begins full force as soon as she steps into the dorm. She returned in time but a few alarm clocks beep. She gets inside the girls bathroom and readies herself for the day.

“How are you doing?” Willow asks. She would consider Willow to be an acquaintance, not exactly a friend.

“Fine. I am freaked out because Alev told us that we would face a simulation today.” She doesn’t tell why she is freaked out. Too silly a reason like superstition for an Erudite.

Willow glances up at her with an almost frown, probably because she used the cliché and unintelligent phrase ‘freaked out’. Rhiannon replies with an almost wince.

“Trust me, Rhiannon; it will pass away like a blizzard. Probably with equal damage.” She says and heads into the bathroom.

She enters the dorm with wet hair and ties her shoelaces. She paces into the main hall and waits for the other Erudite born. She learnt quite a while ago that pacing instead of ambling makes you look purposeful which would probably be appreciated in Erudite.

 They come out in droves along with the transfers. They are deep in thought about the sim. She isn’t. Her face just looks like she is. Her style is to improvise and go with whatever they throw at you. Thinking about it was useless and your mind would conjure dangerous hypothetical situations. It was like your brain constructs a sim before the actual one happens. Her restless hands preferred doing, not mindless thinking.

Alev orders the initiates to get into a line. Both of them had joked about it endlessly with him claiming that the whole pack looked like a group of lost sheep waiting to be herded.

They get into a straight line, perpendicular to the floor and parallel to the walls. The raven haired guy was exchanging a word with his friend, his green eyes dark.

They enter the simulation room. The room is divided in two halves with a thick wooden door. They take a seat and wait for whatever they are waiting for. Aster comes in with her blue coat pressed flawlessly and not a fold out of place. She infects everyone with her early morning enthusiasm. Rhiannon feels grumpy and ignores her blather.

Alev calls the names one by one. The first one, a transfer enters the dismal room. She had seen her exchanging words with the green-eyed guy.

_Stop. Was green-eyed guy or raven-haired guy an epithet for a normal guy? Why am I even thinking about him? My mind should be consumed with fear, not with some guy._

The names go on slowly. Everyone takes at least ten to fifteen minutes to pass a sim. She learns that the green-eyed guy’s name is Caleb Prior. Soon, the room is almost empty with four end-of-the-alphabet people. Alev calls her name.

“Rhiannon White, you are requested to enter the simulation room.” Alev says in the exact same tone he uses with the other initiates. Chaos could erupt if somebody let out that Rhiannon was his sister.

Aster plugs her forehead to the electrodes and injects her with a cloudy white serum.

“All the best, sis” Alev says in an indistinguishable whisper. Those are the last words she hears before the sim pulls her under.

She stands in the library. The librarian has a really grotesque face, like a vampire. She read about those things in a book called ‘Twilight’. It was a really stupid book but the picture before her is totally different than that Edward Cullen. The librarian is not pale or sparkles. None of those silly stereotypes but has vicious fangs an inch long. Her eyes have dark shadows of someone who has seen way too much tragedy. She is horrified at this picture of that innocent librarian. She knows that speaking is useless.

Rhiannon grabs whatever she finds. A book on Draculae.  She would almost laugh at the irony if her brain hadn’t vapourised due to the fear. The vampire sinks her teeth into her neck but fails because she had smacked it upside the head with a book. She doesn’t dwell on her Dauntless moment because the vampire gets up madder than ever before.

Uh oh. She remembered that a vampire wouldn’t die with a few boxes to her head. So she complies and the vampire sinks her lethal fangs into her shoulder.

The excruciating pain fills her for a moment, making her vision black at the edges. Her mind becomes blank, as if it was already expecting the pain. She imagines the life going out of her like a pale white wraith.

She forces the sim to move on. The mind numbing pain vanishes leaving an equally mind numbing fear. She is surrounded by a vast oily marsh. She skirts around the edges when her feet get caught in a knot of grass. She falls backward, the sky drifting further away and her equilibrium is lost even before she falls. The clouds seem to vibrate and sing her a fatal lullaby. Half of her head is submerged in the quagmire.

 _Think, reflect and use your hands._ She tries her usual approach to solving problems. Rhiannon thrashes around wildly. This shows a faint glimmer of hope for about twenty seconds and then it comes to her that fighting against quicksand will make you sink deeper.

She calms down and gladly steps into the dark embrace of the mud. Her lungs overfill themselves. She can’t open her eyes, is simply not able to.

Her scalp sinks. Her neck along with it.

Her ears. The world is hushed right now as if mourning her death.

She can feel the mud on her cheekbones and midriff.

Her midriff’s probably sunken completely.

Forehead.

She shifts her head around to at least save her eyes and nose but that is not possible.

She steps in completely. It is like swimming in water with hundred times the resistance. She thinks that hundred times resistance would probably mean that she is just under the upper surface of the mud. She focuses on the positives and calms her breathing. That is almost impossible as she is running out of oh-two and her mind is in a heightened state of panic. She remembers the hundreds of psychology lessons fed by her brother. What is the best way? Oh right, keeping calm.

She gathers the courage to do the impossible once more and detaches herself from the situation completely. It seems to work but dwelling on it will make the whole thing backfire. Just when she is sure that ‘death by suffocation’ would be featuring in her obituary, the sim moves on.

She opens her eyes and the sim has ended. She begins to hyperventilate and would collapse on the floor if she hadn’t landed in the arms of her brother, Alev. She reminds herself to not take him for granted at any time. She knows that she got off easy this time. God knows what choices would she be forced to make in the next one which would almost certainly feature all of her family members.

“It’s okay, initiate.” She glances into Alev’s eyes and his voice longs to say, “I won’t let them get you next time, dear sis.”

“You are dismissed, initiate.” Aster says.

She gets out of that dismal room as soon as humanly possible. The café looks like a funeral service.

She gets into a table at the side. The same old every day, with no one to sit beside her. She grabs whatever looks good and dumps it on the plate. Useless exercise, everything tastes like motor oil now.

Lunch ends in silent misery. She remembers with a sigh that there is a Science exam today. A bell rings from a huge speaker from the centre of the café.

The Erudite born and the transfers get outside the café and form a line as if they were magnets with the opposite poles facing each other.

 _Oh yeah, I’m the only like pole magnet here._ She shakes herself out of her weird thoughts.

“Erudite born initiates, please lead the transfers into Examination Room 1” Alev breaks the silence.”

The long human centipede passes the main hall and Jeanine Matthews’s eyes stare as if they were the bugs she intends to squash under her shoe. It looks like she has spared their lives only because those shoes would get dirty.

They go into another hallway and three chrome labels with Examination room 1, 2 and 3 call out to her like the three Fates of Greek mythology. The line gets into the first room and waits for whatever they have to wait for.

They sit in neat rows. She sits in the middle but behind part of the hall. Not too far ahead to be on the teacher’s radar and not too far behind to be even more on the radar. The room is built in the same way that all Erudite classrooms are built. Blue benches, enormous whiteboard/ projector screen and the like.

Alev whispers a warning to Caleb, who had probably got in trouble earlier. She knew that he had a special technique to make his whispers unnerving. It didn’t affect her very much as she was his sister but to other people, it could scare the heck out of them.

Alev walks to the front of the hall and speaks, his voice booming due to the acoustic effect walls.

“You will get three hours to complete thirty questions each of math and science. Reading time is an extra ten minutes. Math has three sections, Arithmetic, Algebra and Geometry with ten questions each. Science has three sections, Physics, Chemistry and Biology with ten questions each.”

“You are provided with necessary stationery. I expect this case to be with you whenever you are attending a class.”

She glances at her watch. It is 1.00 pm. Reading is the usual ten minutes so the exam will commence at 1.10 pm. It will end at 4.10 pm.

He begins the usual drill of distributing a sheet of paper and a question paper to each bench.

“Do well in this one, sis.” His voice is a ghost of a murmur.

She reads the paper, not mustering the courage to read the Biology section yet. The Math section is a breeze with each one disguised as being difficult. She wasn’t a prodigy but she could do those sums easily.

The Physics section is also very easy with the rules imprinted on her head.

The Chemistry section is also a piece of pie.

“Your reading time begins now, initiates.”

She didn’t listen to Alev announcing that the time is over. She begins the math section at a manic pace, her hands and left brain go on autopilot while her right brain thinks, ‘What the heck am I doing?’ She shuts that part down. It would not do well to doubt herself. She gets the Arithmetic done in twenty five minutes and starts on the Algebra.

The usual with her hands getting on autopilot in the first two questions. The third one puts the brake on the autopilot and she stares (glares, really) at the question for a while.

She finishes the math section and moves on to the Physics and Chemistry. It is all finished in an hour. She has another hour and the dreaded Bio section to scale.

She begins reading it and those ten questions suck the life out of her. No matter she usually slept in the back of the room in class. It really hits her now. Wonder, becoming factionless just because she failed in a bio test. She puts a stop to those day nightmares.

 _Come on Rhiannon, what the heck is plasmolysis?_ She makes her disgust known by swearing out loud in her head, not wasting her time with euphemisms.

She solves seven questions and leaves space for three. She reads those questions again but is not able to come up with any suitable answers.

_Let it go, you wouldn’t fail for not writing three answers._

She glances around and sees that Xander is talking to his minion.

Boom! A minute and an anonymous informant later, Xander has been caught. She would congratulate him/her as soon as she finds out the name.

Alev grabs him and leads both of them, Xander and Rick and drags them to Aster’s office where soon a new case file would be opened.  Her brother really hates liars and that is why he pays no attention to their argument of asking for pens. The room is unsupervised for a few minutes but no one dares to talk now.

Alev comes in and fifteen minutes later the examination ends.

They get into lines and go out of the examination room. Her mind is already in the library before she is. She rushes out of the corridor and doesn’t bother with Willow’s pleasantries. She goes into the library with her mind at a hundred miles per hour. She goes to the Engineering section and grabs a book on solar powered engine blocks. She glances up from her table and sees that Caleb Prior is sitting in front of her.

Caleb has a subtle oh-my-god expression on his face while the one having that should be her.

This Caleb guy finds an excuse to talk to her. He asks for the English book on her table and she passes it on gladly.

“What is your name?” His green eyes were so mesmerizing.

“I am Rhiannon White.”

She dismissed the weird feeling as a fluke or a warning of greater things albeit bad things to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like it? The last chapter had a reference to 'Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die!" By Panic! At The Disco.


	10. It's Something Unpredictable, But In The End It's Right

Caleb's POV

The same story every morning. I still cannot figure out where that blasted alarm is blaring from. I am gradually forgetting my old Abnegation routine. The only difference is that I did not wake up with an apocalyptic headache every day. My cranium feels like it is going to split and my brain and cerebrospinal fluid would probably splatter on the floor. What is the cause of this massive headache? Oh right, the English, Government and Computer test but Jeanine also is a very important variable to the number of headaches I have. Well, this isn't a real, tangible headache. This is the ones you get when you have way too much to think and way too little time.

I still have an hour to go before the insanity starts. Tristan is still sleeping so I go toward his nightstand which has his tablet on it. I don't know much about hacking into it but I do have a nasty prank on my mind. This idea pushes all thoughts of headaches out of my mind.

I dig inside my bag and find some shaving foam. I spritz it on the entire nightstand. I know that his hands would come there while waking up. I really did not punch his face yesterday, what with him pulling the I'm-so-sorry card. Anna melted right away when she saw his puppy dog expression. Oh, he probably would have gotten her as a defender. I have another idea but that would mean proclaiming a prank war.

I don't care. I head to the café.

I go inside the café. A couple of cranky middle aged ladies desperately in need of some caffeine attend the counters. Who knows how many lost faces they must have seen, badly in need of a caffeine high at midnight?

"May I get a few ketchup sachets and some sugar candy please?"

"Sure, and I don't think you intend to eat candy with ketchup, do you?"

"No ma'am, I plan on extracting revenge on my friend for a prank." I don't hesitate to reveal my true purpose. Let Alev catch me. I don't care.

"Good luck kid, may the odds be ever in your favour."

Where did I hear that before? I am losing time now.

When did I become so reckless? Must be the ice cream I had yesterday. I would be on an insane sugar high when initiation ends.

She hands me a couple of ketchup packets and a handful of candy tablets. I go to the dorm and begin the preparations for an epic prank. I glance around; everyone is in a deep sleep. I lift the tablet and set it aside. I tear the packet and make a small puddle of the red semi liquid in the centre of the shaving cream. I drench the candy in a glass of water and rub the sticky stuff onto the entire screen. I set the rigged tablet on top of the ketchup puddle.

Why am I doing this? To exact revenge and to proclaim a prank war. Why am I not worried? Because I know that Erudite makes completely waterproof tablets.

I switch the camera on in my tablet and set it in a strategic position, close enough to capture the event while far enough to ensure that Tristan doesn't smash it to smithereens. That should get me pretty good blackmail material.

I head out to the library and my plan is to come in the hall at the last minute, claiming I was studying there and lost track of time. I hope my tab captures his priceless expression.

I sit in the library for half an hour but I am not able to concentrate on anything. I grab a book and flip the pages, not exactly making an effort to extract information out of it. I would love to see Rhiannon but she isn't here. I look at my watch but there is still half an hour to go. I get bored of the library and decide to head outside.

I go into the park outside and decide whether to wander farther away. Half an hour is too little for exploring the compound. I walk behind the main building and towards the East. I observe the miscellaneous manufacturing unit but there is a mind blowing amount of chaos here. This must be the busiest and possibly most underrated place in the whole compound. This is obvious because most of the Erudite are interested in research and development work. No one wants to do the actual work.

I put a stop on my philosophical garbage. I check my watch. I was theoretically supposed to be late but I am actually late now.

I run to the dorm and realise how good a sprint feels. Another thing I wasn't allowed to do. I rush to it and make sure I don't make a fool of myself on the slippery marble floors. I grab my pencil case from the empty dorm and enter Examination Room 1 with a flushed face.

"May I come in?" I plead forgiveness from Alev.

"You may come in right now but one out of three late coming chances has been struck off your record. This may or may not be marked negatively in your record." He replies with a stone hard face.

Oh no. This might have ruined my chances of making it into the top. I make a note to never do early morning wake up pranks again. I find that the question paper has already made its appearance on table where I usually sit. I flip through it and write the details on my answer sheet. I can feel Tristan's vicious glare on the back of my neck. I ignore it and begin writing my paper.

I am really tired of these stupid tests. English, can be done. Government, child's play. Computer, well, my Abnegation background explains that.

Enough about the whole process of giving the examination in details. My hands go on autopilot and they begin to write the paper. The paper is easy but the Government section stumps me.

'Which faction do you suppose is the most superior one?'

'What are your views of the Erudite faction?'

'Compare any two factions of your choice.'

I am so tired of this stupid nonsense. Comparing factions? I bet a huge crapstorm will blow up as soon as it is over. I write diplomatic answers, neither on this side nor on that. I hope that Alev gives me good marks for that. I finish the English and Government part and move in to the Computer part.

The paper completely baffles me. I can manage the HTML coding but the rest is complete Greek to me. I know I studied all of this but I slept through computer class in all of Upper levels. I have an urge to scold the earlier version of Caleb and slap him upside the head. I discreetly glance to the one sitting beside me. I don't know his name but I try to glance in his paper.

I do get a few hints while glancing into his paper. It all comes to me and I write it all on my paper. Today seems my lucky day. I never was caught at least once. I don't try to jinx it by thinking about it too much. The last thing I need is to be dragged to Aster's office.

The examination ends. I don't try to sleep now after Alev making a public announcement of me sleeping. I sit there and try to do nothing. It is really difficult to do so. This was my area of expertise (doing nothing, I mean) in Abnegation. It is very tricky to keep my hands still after only spending a couple days in Erudite.

I spend a restless fifteen minutes and finally Alev comes to collect our papers. I hand it to him eagerly and say a mental thank you to the guy sitting beside me. I hope that Xander didn't catch me. I run to the library but a phantom hand sets itself on my shoulder.

"Where do you suppose you are going?" Tristan squeezes my shoulder so hard that is it almost going to pop off the socket. I bite my tongue and smother the scream.

"Get your hand off me!" I drag his hand off.

"I am not angry for what you did. This is just the Dauntless way of doing things. I did this to make you a little wary next time. I did learn one thing, 'never underestimate an Abnegation guy with a vendetta'. Believe me, I have been a target for pranks way worse than this. Those are usually masterminded by the little nuisance known as Trevor. You did earn some serious respect in the eyes of the Dauntless." He replies and gives me a good natured slap on the back.

"Thank you so much, Tristan. I am sorry if I damaged the tab." Got off easy, although I wouldn't have minded if he had proclaimed a prank war. I had worse things up my sleeve. I run to the library before he changes his mind.

I enter the library and take my usual place in the table at the centre. I grab an adventure book, seems childish but I like those kind of books. I was a great fan of these books in Middle levels. I am counting down to the day I will pass initiation and will be able to borrow a book. I don't see Rhiannon anywhere. Unusual, That girl's favourite place is the library. I read the book for half an hour. It is a piece of somewhat badly written prose but still has a lot of suspense to it. I return the book to its place and decide to head out.

I go outside the main building and look at the barren piece of brown land, strewn with pieces of concrete and metal, which is known as 'Millennium'. I wonder who gave this name to it. Calling it a park is really stretching it way too far. This place really needs some plants and a few leaves of grass from an Amity nursery. I bet the Erudite will never bother with it. I sit on a bench and wonder about the enormous topic plaguing my mind for many days, Divergence.

To get to the root of it, I need a starting place. The obvious answer is Jeanine's computer but I am not that high of an official. The legal way would take years. I need to look at other back doors. The first thing that comes to mind is the pair of Tristan and Anahita. I need to make sure that they are worthy of being trusted with this sensitive secret, otherwise I could be in really deep trouble. I go to the dorm at superhuman speed (according to my standard at least). I grab my tablet and connect to the open Wi-Fi network available to all Erudite. This is a silly choice, because I know that public networks are usually the most unsafe places. I don't have any other alternative now.

I open up the archived research papers on Quaestiones. These are available on the public platform. The newer archives contain Jeanine's drivel on the faction system and a few experiments done by different departments. I look at the older archives, authored by the former representative of Erudite, Thomas Norton.

It is obvious that these are the places on the intranet that nobody bothers to visit. These folders have a file for every day and are arranged month-wise. There are one hundred and twenty of these month wise folders. It is such a humongous amount of data to sort through. I go to the search bar at top left and type, 'Aptitude test experiments.' I don't type a word about divergence, it is too suspicious. About seventy or eighty month wise files appear.

I look at the first folder and select a random file from it. It is towards the end of that month's folder. It has Norton's observations on a pool of test subjects that is one hundred strong. There is only rudimentary information about the test subjects here.

I go to the next file. It has a data table on the one hundred subjects showing each one's aptitude. The subjects are an anonymous bunch of sixteen year olds. There are the usual five columns there, each one coloured with the colours of the usual faction colours. There are the variables mentioned below.

I see that there is a short paragraph on the group's collective aptitude. There was a group of five people who had somewhat of an aptitude flexibility. There is nothing more after.

I am even more confused. What is this aptitude flexibility? This confuses me even more instead of solving my problems. I record the date of this file on the notes app on my tab.

I may find more about this by going to the media office. I could download it on the tab. The only problem is doing it surreptitiously enough. I could justify it by saying that I need the records for a history paper that I am doing for myself.

I just need the file of that particular day but it might be suspicious. I should download the files of that entire year or couple of them. I ought to go to the digitised newspaper archives. I open the map and see that the gigantic media office covers half of the second floor of the main building. The newspaper and digital archives are in a corner of the office.

I walk toward the main building, intending to go the media office but a sudden hubbub happens near the main gate of the entire compound. Jeanine enters with two of her subordinates and a familiar person dressed in Dauntless black walks beside her. He has a serious, rigid stance and his arms look ready to rip someone's head off. Where did I see that face? He looks like a really important person. He is probably the leader of Dauntless. What was his name? Oh yeah, it is Max. He was the one who conducted this year's Choosing Ceremony.

The people in the park stand up due to requirement of respect. I follow and tuck the tab under my arm. The whole parade passes and everyone sits down. I decide to follow them undercover. I wait for them to go inside. I go behind them and they get into the elevator. I take the staircase. I go up to the second floor and climb the staircase further. I pass the huge glass doors of the Media Office. The chaos is visible from here. The third floor has the door open but it has only one fourth of the floor is available for access. The thick white wall is noticeable from this far. A chrome label announces 'Simulation and Sera Department'. Okay, so this is where Aster works.

The staircase goes on above but the door is locked and chained up. The chain and the lock are technically gas welded onto the thick metal doors. It is evident that no one enters from here. The elevator had a couple of keyholes for probably the fourth floor.

Futile exercise. I head back downstairs. The media office calls out and I go inside. The chaos prevents me from making my voice heard. I go to the help desk at the front of the office.

"How may I help you? Although you do seem a bit old for the guided tour of the media office." A bubbly voice asks me. Her name tag reads 'Violet' in a kind of block comic book font.

"I am Caleb. I am making a research paper on history. I need one year's worth of news articles for a history project that I am doing for myself."

"Are you an initiate? If so, you can use resources from the archive only after initiation ends." She hangs the _Dead End_ sign on my research attempts.

I turn around and go out of the staircase. None of the work is done. I need to find a trustworthy Erudite member so that I can get my hands on those newspaper articles. The only one who comes to my mind is Alev. How do I ask him? Like, Hello-can-you-please-take-these-articles-and-give-it-to-me-so-that-I-could-do-whatever-I-want-with-it? It would be so stupid. Tristan and Anahita are transfers; they wouldn't have any siblings in here. The only Erudite born who comes to my mind is Rhiannon. I hope that she has an elder sibling here.

I think about where I could find her. Only two places come to me, either the forge or the library. I go outside the main building and rush into the forge. I am careful of the welding sparks. I go to the help desk where there is probably an account of each and every person going in and out of the forge.

"Hello, how may I help you?" A guy probably in his twenties asks me. His name tag reads 'Ryan' in big block letters.

"May I know if Rhiannon White is present here?" I say.

"Let me check." He looks around, "Sorry sir, she is not present here."

I run into the library and take a good look around. She is not present there. The only other place I can think of is the Erudite dorm. It is the last thing I want to do, I'll probably go inside and some girl would almost certainly hit me with a flying slipper. I cannot muster the courage to go into the Erudite dorm so I walk toward the transfer dorm. I walk the white marbled corridor and a person gets involved in a head-on collision with me.

He or she hit me with such force that I fall backward. The world gets reversed for a second, ceiling downwards and floor upwards. My legs divide in an ungraceful split and I do not manage to catch myself in the last second. I fall on the floor.

"Are you okay?" The voice asks me. I can feel a hand on my arm.

"I am okay, thank you." I realise with a start that the voice belongs to Rhiannon. I can still feel her hand on my arm. She holds out her hand to me and proceeds to help me up. I surely look very inelegant right now, sprawled out on the floor. I deny her hand and get up by myself. This wasn't to patch up my ego but I was taught this way, to not accept help from anyone. I compose myself hurriedly and brush imaginary dust off my jeans.

"I am so sorry; I guess I was too lost in my own head." Rhiannon replies.

"I could say the same for myself. Actually, I was looking for you." I say in a serious tone as to not indicate any purpose other than business.

"Could we talk in the library? I was heading there right now until I literally headed into you." She says. I suppress a chuckle and lead her to the library.

We enter and I take my usual place. She sits across me. I ensure to keep my voice a tad down.

"What do you suppose to gain by my acquaintance?" She follows my lead and talks in a low voice.

"Knowledge, my friend, knowledge. I wanted to know that if you had an elder sibling. I need to get a few articles from the media office." I try to lighten the vein a little.

"What do you want exactly?"

"I need all the newspaper articles of the year… Will you be able to get it first?" I need to make sure that she has a valid source of supplying the documents.

"I have my sources. Although he or she might or might not require a little blackmailing." She says it almost mysteriously.

"Why are you unwilling to disclose the source? Is this the anonymous journalism thing that the media office does?"

"You can think of it as somewhat like that. Which year's articles do you require from the archives?"

I quote the year whose articles I require.

"Why do you need that year's specific articles?"

"I am doing a research project. I came up with it only a few days ago. Please bring the important ones, not the girly stuff found in the e-magazine that is published here."

"You did not need to say that. I, myself have very little patience for girly stuff and you don't look like the kind of guy who would make a report on the changing fashion styles of the past decade."

"You know me so well. Please bring the information on a flash drive so I can upload it on my tab."

"Sure" With this word she walks out of the library, dragging me along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please send me some comments. I am feeling so under appreciated. :(  
> By the way, guess the song. It a Green Day song, from 1997.


	11. You Gotta Fire Up You Gotta Let Go

**Rhiannon's POV**

What an odd request. Why did Caleb want the archived media docs of that year? It seemed like he had some other purpose than making a history project. Whatever, she did not have any compulsion to help him but she would ultimately do so. It was in her nature. She takes the boy along with him, although he was a little too eager to follow.

"Where are you going?"

"Just somewhere I thought I would go." _With you_ , she has definitely gone crazy.

"It this the visitation of the great vending machines?" Ugh, he guessed it right but she would like to keep up the suspense.

"No, but it is something better than that."

"Okay, let's go then."

They walk silently and she leads them. The green eyed boy follows with an expression of childish wonder in his eyes. The girl does not know that he isn't enchanted by the thought of vending machines but with the human being, probably a female, standing before him.

They enter the café. A couple of middle aged ladies attend the desks although the place is empty as a ghost town. She disappears into a door set into the farthest wall which was almost the same colour as the wall.

"This looks pretty illegal." He whispers.

"Trust me, it isn't. Those ladies would have already registered a complaint if it was."

It is a tiny room, three by three metres and it is swallowed by the archaic boxlike machines that cover one and a half walls.

"Okay, so this is one of your favourite places in the whole compound?"

"Yeah, but I don't come here often. I wouldn't want anyone to discover it."

"You took me here."

"Well, you aren't anyone. You are a specific _some_ one." She replies.

 _What am I speaking?_ He doesn't reply, digesting the fact which she presented her with.

"What are these machines used for?" Caleb says.

"I don't know, these were certainly used for vending food products, though the food inside them looks like something you would feed to your enemy to kill them with food poisoning. I had taken them apart once but I got caught and the mummified food inside was something I'd rather _not_ look at."

"Oh sure, I reckon I'm on your secret hit list then? Kill 'em with food poisoning isn't it?" He jokes around.

"Oh no! Who gives their enemy poisoned food after _telling_ them about it?"

She gives a huge, real smile. Not the ones she gives others. Caleb can't help but think she looks absolutely stunning. Her hazel eyes shine with unadulterated joy. He gives one of his real smiles in return.

"Tell me how you got caught." He says.

"It's a long story."

"Tell me anyway, not that I have something else to do."

"Alright, so here goes. I did this probably a few weeks ago. One day, I was really bored; this has been on my favourite places list for quite a few years so I decided to come here. There isn't much to do here so I thought I'd take a small tool kit along. I went inside and worked on the machines, the hinges were soldered onto the surface with rust and grime. I had to run to the forge to get some dilute acid to dissolve the rust away. I poured that on the whole thing and it started smoking like crazy. Bad smells erupted and I was almost suffocated in here. My mistake, I guess. I poured the whole litre of dilute acid in there. You can see the places where some of the paint has melted off." Rhiannon looks at him, he didn't interrupt once. A very good listener.

"That's an enjoyable story. Those ladies must have registered a complaint, isn't it?"

"Yeah, they did. My mom had to come from her office to take me away. I got grounded for the entire week. I found out later that the stuff was concentrated acid."

"Well, I don't have such amazing stories but I would like to tell you, what you did was awesome, I don't see many people engaged in the art of deconstruction as you are."

"Thank you so much." She replies with a hint of sarcasm but she cannot deny herself the compliment.

"I wonder who left these machines here in the first place."

"I love to imagine that this was a miraculous machine which dispensed dragon food and people who had dragon companions would take food from here." _There I go, dropping word bombs again._

"It's a rather small place, isn't it?" He changes the topic. It really is; her face is only a metre away to his, although it was more than half a foot in the height wise difference.

"You didn't ask why it was my favourite place."

"No, everyone is allowed to have at least one weird hiding place."

A shuffling (a parade, actually) of feet is heard.

"What is that?" He asks.

"I don't know" He grabs her wrist, "It is certainly wiser to wait here for a while. I wouldn't want to bump into someone." Her brain erodes away and the only thing she thinks is along the lines of 'ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod'. He realises what he's doing and jerks his hand away. "Let's get out of here now."

"Yeah"

They get out of the café and an unmistakable pair exits the corridor, flanked by a parade of subordinates. Max and Jeanine.

…

"I need a wrench to take the engine apart, Rhiannon."

"Walk fifty feet, go to the supply cabinet and get the tool kit. I would advise adjusting the junction between the n-type and p-type silicon. Also, I think the storage battery is running low."

"Thank you, miss." Ryan says with a wicked sneer.

 _No wonder you couldn't figure it out._ She thinks to herself.

There are primarily two types of people in this atmosphere, the ones who did the manual work and the ones who did the actual thinking work. People often referred to the manual workers as 'grease monkeys'. Not to poke fun at them but these people had one of the lowest paying jobs if you exclude the compound maintenance people. Once again, do what you are told or be factionless.

She observes this with a common example. Ryan was one of those people who had great potential but were swallowed by the initiation process. He came fifteenth in his year, which was about ten years ago. Now he refuses to use that potential and has completely drowned in the hopelessness of his job. This desperation made him really jealous of all the people in the forge with higher positions than him.

Rhiannon wasn't exactly someone on the higher positions list but you could count her as an unofficial worker. Her dad got her in two years ago and she refuses to look back. She prefers to say it as 'volunteering' but she would get a job here as soon as initiation ended. The manual workers were employed in the repair and maintenance department while the others were in manufacturing and research.

She was fascinated by the research and maintenance department but there was no scope for unofficial employees like her. She had to work from the bottom up that is from the repair department.

Ryan walks reluctantly from underneath the car and towards the supply closet. She looks up from another little project she was working on, a kinetic sculpture made of discarded engine parts. The only things she needed were a pair of broken silicon panels. It looked so beautiful, complete in her mind's eye. The only way she could drown the din of the forge was plugging in her earphones and playing the music so loud that your mind simply refused to think.

She takes her earphones out and brings her tablet out of the little contraption she had made herself. This one could hold onto any surface and stay there. The gadget is brought out from under the table she was working on. The sun has set and the workers would probably leave after a few minutes. She scours the enormous compound, looking for her dad. There he is, tired after working for so long. His eyes light up the way they do when he looks at his daughter.

"Hey dad, where is your key? I want to stow this little sculpture in your locker."

"It is with me." He glances at the unfinished sculpture. "It looks so stunning! Where did you get this idea from?"

"Just something I came up with. Although it needs a pair of small broken solar panels."

"Broken panels?"

"Yeah, I realised a sculpture made out of junk looks much better with broken parts."

"A very good idea dear, although I think you should put one broken panel in there. No pressure, but I remember building junk sculptures like you do in my days. My biggest trick was to keep them incomplete in some way."

"Nice isn't it? Broken and incomplete?" She says. _Just like her_ , although the causes of it were something she didn't like to think about.

"At least they weren't bizarre as the ones you make now." He attempts to poke fun at her.

Rhiannon realises that it does look bizarre, a kind of a hybrid between an engine and a child who is somewhat of a stick figure. The child looks as if he is drowning in the engine and is not able to find his way out. It would look gruesome in someone's mental image but it looks oddly beautiful as a junk sculpture. The child is made up of a few circuit boards and he looks like a weird green alien baby. The engine looks as realistic as possible.

She imagines zooming away on that engine, as the child. Up, up and away from this city and into the great unknown. An idea as radical as that would possibly get her executed. She did have a small prototype of a flying airplane at home which worked very well but it was impossible to imagine it big enough to carry her.

 _Stop. It. Right. Now._ She screams out loud in her head.

She runs out of the forge before her dad. It was a very creepy place at night, when the big solar lamps were switched off. Or it could simply be her hyperactive imagination. There was no cause for hurry nowadays, the lights in the whole compound usually burned away the whole night. No one from the other factions had cared to register a complaint.

She runs to the main hall and into the Erudite dorm. Everyone stares at her for a second and gets ready for dinner. A few glances are thrown at her way but she brushes them off.

She walks into the dinner hall. She grabs whatever looks good and goes to her table.

"What's up?" Willow asks her.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Initiation effed me up."

Willow gives a wince due to her poor choice of words.

 _Hey, I used a euphemism, no need to get weird._ _Why do I drop word bombs whenever anyone tries to talk to me? It seems especially bad with Willow. Bless that poor soul. I need to tape my tongue to the roof of my mouth._

"Whatever, what do you do all day? I never see you around." Willow voices her concern.

"I am usually in the library."

_Please don't find me there. I would be third-wheeling completely if she finds out about Caleb._

…

Dinner ends. The initiates are requested to go to sleep but she hangs around for a while. She sneaks to the back of the forge where an enormous dump yard of mechanical junk lies. A small but dense thicket of bushes and trees lie half a kilometre beyond. The junk yard is really hazardous with old and smoking stuff lying around but it is her routine. She remembers scouring the yard with her best friend.

 _STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT!_ She couldn't stop the flashbacks running through her head. She reflects on the last meeting two weeks ago. The meeting which could mean so many things to so many people but had a truly sad one for her.

Broken, sharp and rusted metal pieces are the norm of this place. A wrong step could guarantee a tetanus shot from the hospital or something even worse. She looks around; ninety percent of her stuff was sourced from here.

She climbs on the top of the pile and shouts out loud, not caring about any kind of audience.

"HEY CRUEL WORLD! COME AND GET ME! I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE….." She can't muster the courage to shout the words out. She liked to do this; she loved to pretend that she was the only one in the whole world.

Everyone had their own ways of release, of simply letting it all out. This was her preferred method; at least it was better than drowning in alcohol like the Dauntless or chain smoking like the Candor. She also liked listening to music, made by the Amity although they usually had the 'love and peace' kind of music. She liked something a bit energetic and since she discovered Green Day she couldn't take her earphones out of her ears.

The music that she discovered was purely out of chance. It was more than one and a half millennia old. She was wandering around one of the buildings and had found a really old flash drive tucked away inside an ancient cabinet. 16 GB only, who made those nowadays? 16 TB flash drives were pretty common in Erudite, although no one cared much for music. She had asked her brother to restore it and make it into audio files. The whole process had a few hiccups but now she had Green Day music in her tablet.

This could be counted as a kind of a favourite place but she didn't like it in here. This place was simply crying to be cleared up but not a damn person would care.

A few car wrecks could be found a couple hundred metres ahead. She had even screwed away parts of doorframes for some of her bigger projects. Her room was seventy percent full of these sculptures and her mom would grumble although she wouldn't have the heart to tell her daughter to throw or give a couple away.

Rhiannon scours the huge pile with her eyes. She sees a radiator, some rusted nuts and bolts and… Aha! A solar panel. It is located at the very top of the pile but she climbs onto it and grabs the panel. It is medium sized with a huge crack running down the side. She would probably have to break it or cut it with a circular saw.

She goes to her apartment and knocks on the door. Her mom opens the door.

"Hey mom, could you keep this in my room for a while?"

"Oh sure, dear. What are you doing at this time?"

"Nothing mom. I got to go! Goodbye!" She hurriedly hugs her mom and runs into the dorm. She sets the alarm for 12.30 am. She was sure that she would find the one she would she was looking for.

She gets into her bed but she knows she would have to wake up a couple hours later. She sets the alarm under her pillow, a trick she learnt from her mom. She pretends to sleep for a minute or so and falls asleep after.

A loud but muffled ringing and strange vibrations wake her up. She checks the time, 12.30 am. The dorm looks like an experimental lab; she imagines that the victims are in their own individual glass cases, covered with sheets that are purely for ornamentation purposes.

 _Why am I even doing this for Caleb?_ No time for questions, it is time for action right now.

She gets up from her bed and gets out of the dorm. She crosses the comm desk and goes into the sim room. Alev had shown it to her on the very first day the location of his office. She enters it and there he is, bent over a screen and his eyes are bloodshot. He looks up and gives a tired smile.

"Hey bro, what are you doing here right now?" She knew the answer already; this was the usual time for his brother to get out of the office.

"I could ask the same of you and do try to keep your voice a bit down, nobody having the clearance of your level is allowed here." He rubs his eyes for a while.

"I didn't know this job would be so taxing."

"Yes, it is. You have the habit of finding me at the oddest times. Either you'll come so early or you'll be so late."

"What can you do? I don't think you'd like to handle the bedlam."

"I don't think you have come here for small talk. Come on, spill."She looks at him with a sheepish expression.

"I need your help." She doesn't say that a boy needs his help. Alev would probably put an electrocuting pen in his stationery case.

"Tell me the entire story please." He gives a big yawn.

"I need all the media articles of this year." She quotes the year.

"What so exactly need them for?"

Here comes the million dollar question. "I need them for a project."

"Who are you fooling? Do you know that I plan the whole initiation process? I did _not_ assign a history project to any of you."

"I am doing this with someone just as a curiosity project."

"Who does that anyway in the middle of initiation? And may I ask who are doing this with?"

"Stop asking so many questions. I will tell mom that you threw a party last month at our house and got drunk and made out with…." He claps his hand over her mouth. His face turns white.

"Don't you ever tell that to anyone. I'll do your job but don't think I'll hesitate to report if anything's illegal. "

"Thank you so much! I love you!" She slathers the butter on.

"Okay, no need to do me in. You'll get the files tomorrow after lunch break, although I really want to know what exactly you would be doing with them."

"I told you, I need this for a project." _Caleb, you better not be doing something illegal._

"I don't believe you."

"Alright. I don't think anybody does."

"Don't worry sister, your ideas and creativity are amazing but are way too radical for these mundane machines known as Erudite." She goes quiet.

"We'll have a big party after this ends, okay? Rather, we should do it on visiting day." Alev says.

"NO alcohol please. I think 'drunk Alev' is way too much to handle for me. Where did you source the alcohol from last time?"

"I have my contacts, and no alcohol. The last time was a very very big mistake. I got a hangover headache the size of the moon."

"Don't puke on the dining table like you did last time. I don't know how I would clean something like that again."

"Don't remind me." His usually stoic face gets an expression which is highly embarrassed.

"Go to the dorm right now, Rhian." He uses the nickname that anyone barely uses.

"Okay, believe me, you and I have the same amount of blackmail material, so better do my job quickly." She drops the last word bomb and exits the office like a boss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did you like it? The last reference was from the song 'Time of Your Life (Good Riddance)' by Green Day. It was from their album 'Nimrod' which was released in 1997. In this story, Caleb seems pretty OOC but I want to show how a faction influences each one's behaviour. Just like how Tris went through a radical change after coming to Dauntless, Caleb did the same thing. Hope the explanation's enough for you. And, Rhiannon's character is very loosely based on mine. Even I drop word bombs without thinking. Try to guess this reference. A hint, this is an Imagine Dragons song.
> 
> Reviews of all kinds appreciated,
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	12. Where Did The Doorknob Go?

**Caleb's POV**

I wake up in a cold sweat. The pillowcase I was laying on is completely wet. My hair sticks to my face. I look at my hands. The fingernails are jagged and the nail beds are coated with dried blood. I wonder what went wrong this time. I don't even remember what I dreamt of, I can only see vague shapes, colours and maybe sitting on the roof of a high building with Rhiannon. I think about what I could be dreaming of. I hope it wasn't something inappropriate. Especially if it featured _her._ It must have morphed into something real horrible or my dream must have changed.

I would die for the chance to hold her hand in real, not something in my dreams. I think about the time I held onto her arm ( _accidentally_ , mind you) in the vending machine room.

Oh, did I see the people at the other side of the room smirking at my blush? Anyway, it is too dark for anything less than a glow-in-the-dark sticker to be visible. I hope my face doesn't resemble that.

I hope this information not-a-theft-but-still-a-theft goes well. I am practically at a dead end if Rhiannon doesn't supply the media files to me. I don't have any other means except for maybe whiling away in an office for a decade or two before getting Jeanine's attention. It is useless and Jeanine would certainly succeed in doing the job she has planned.

I am still not sure whether to trust Tristan, Anahita or Rhiannon. Sure, Rhiannon already has brought herself into the game if she gives me those documents but I would have to reveal my true intent. How could she help me in gathering information? I don't think that she is good with computers or technology. She is good with a machine that is for sure. I can see that Tristan and Anahita are really good with computers and programming. The prank with my tab proved that but the Erudite servers would be much harder to crack than a simple tablet. This one ended in a question yet again.

I glance over to my nightstand and see a thick chemistry book kept there. There is a typed note pasted on top of it which says, 'you are to give a test based on this book in the morning, we wish you well.' The note is from Alev and Aster.

Oh schist! (This is my euphemism for a word that you can most likely guess) This is really creepy. Did Alev or Aster come to this dorm at night? If so, I don't want to think about the embarrassing stuff I must have rambled in my sleep. I know I do that because my mom told me so, a couple of months earlier from the Aptitude Test. Another thing I didn't know about myself. It is surprising the amount of information that Abnegation parents keep from their children. I don't even know the exact date of my birthday. You can guess I didn't celebrate it ever.

I want to sneak away, once again. I know, I promised that would be the last time I snuck away the last time I said it. I guess I have a rebellious streak. The room is too stifling. I can say that I went for a midnight walk. These people would think that I have restless legs syndrome or something. Even though it usually happens to middle aged people having a bad case of varicose veins. I grab a hoodie out of the closet and pull the hood over my head and set out.

I can bet on these hypochondriac people. Seriously, I saw an old lady rushing to the tiny hospital located in the building yesterday. The main clinic is hardly a kilometre away. Lazy people. I had thought that before I knew the reason. I saw a doctor rushing out of the room and complaining about the lady having 'a very minor flatulence problem' to his colleague. Oh, that made me laugh me so hard. After that, the people around looked over at me with an 'are you crazy?' expression.

Wandered away from the point, again. Tristan would get a currency point every time I did that and he would be a millionaire in a week. I go into stealth mode and go outside of the door. I make sure that it doesn't look too stealthy for a midnight walk. Again, these people who read into situations too much would think I was organising a military coup or something. After checking the cameras, because _proof_ is important.

The questions of 'why' and the statements of 'do you want to dig your own grave?' don't count right now. I want to exercise my free will. The Erudite dorm corridor, check. The other corridor from where these two corridors branch off, check. I go to the wall where it ends and am barely able to conceal myself. I feel so sorry for being tall. I stupidly bend into the wall, facing toward the wall and I am sure that whoever chooses to glance into the corridor could see half of my butt sticking out. I hurriedly turn my face towards the main hall, so I could get a fair warning if anyone sees.

I glance at the faint solar lights flickering in the main hall. A few people are at the comm desk but they look more like zombies waiting to eat my brains. The zombies are in front of the computer screen. It is a dangerous operation but I decide to undertake that. The riskiest part is sticking to the wall and walking sideways and reaching to the giganticus bookshelf wrapped around and behind the desk. I can see a few big plants around the bookshelf.

This is a suicide attempt but I want to get the effects of eating so much ice cream out of my system. The long list seems to include making me hyperactive to the point of ignoring the basic instinct of self-preservation.

I really shouldn't blame everything on the ice cream.

I am talking to myself so much that I am thinking whether I am two personalities in one, speaking to each other. (Is that even possible?)

I go around the wall by sticking into it so much that it seems I am trying to disappear into the wall. The man sitting there gives me a heart attack by tilting his head up. I am already thinking of "Pro move, Caleb (claps and sarcastic smiles from the audience). Nice way to get caught. Think of your obituary now." I see the man sneezing and give myself a (very very silent) high five.

I stick to the wall and walk sideways like a crazy crab. I pass the comm desk. Phew. Mission accomplished!

What a dumb mission. I don't even know where to go next. The only options are the sim room and the staircase. The staircase is futile as I already saw earlier. The sim room seems like the most logical option. That seems the only place where I can see people discussing 'secret' plans.

I continue the crazy crab walk along the whole wall. The sim room is at the end of the wall and into another corridor.

I contemplate going into the corridor. I would leave myself completely exposed, a.k.a. dead meat for anyone to find. Well, it is not time for all that bullshit now.

I go into the corridor and the room at the end of it is lighted, as expected. The room isn't locked and I cannot hear any people inside although I know the walls could be soundproofed. The door also doesn't reveal much, it is a wooden one. I hold my breath and turn the knob. I am already searching for excuses and I am relieved to find that it isn't locked. Wow, I don't have to enact the cliché lock- jimmying with a hairpin. Not that I even owned a hairpin.

The door opens into the place of nightmares. The sim room. _The sim room_. The place after which I got my first nightmare in Erudite. Nothing to be proud of, sure, but I cannot help mentioning the details. I remember it vividly like a memory, not a dream.

The room is really bare. The only hiding place is underneath the bench. (Oh, how I regret being tall) I would be a very tight squeeze and it would make a really loud sound. I look around once more. The real hiding places would be in the second door, where I am too afraid to venture.

The long wooden benches stand in the room ghostly cold and empty. Where we await our fate, powerless, voiceless as the souls who enter the Underworld after crossing the Styx. The fate would be meted out by subjecting the mind to a wide and wild array of fears which manifest into dark, deep nightmares.

I go closer to the door frame and into the sim room. It might be suicide or it could be a chance to get hold of precious information. Emphasis on the 'might'. The sim room resembles its cousin (or twin?) because it looks exactly the same as the room outside the door except for the huge pile of equipment on one wall.

Who kept the equipment here?

It could be a trap or plain, old stupidity. Anyone could get in here and wipe it clean off. Data theft would cause much more loss than the theft of the actual computer. Then, we would have to face the sims yet again in order for Alev to get the required data.

I look at the computer carefully. The wall behind it seems to be a bit disjointed from the surrounding wall. It could be an optical illusion but it almost seems like there is a door built into the wall.

I guess that hidden door is the entrance to Hell or Shangri-La. Nothing in between. I mean, who would bother to hide a door in here? Nobody would bother to notice except the most observant people. The people who usually exit this room are emotional wrecks, drowning in sorrow to bother seeing anything around them.

I peek into the doorframe which is welded and camouflaged into the wall. The frame and the door look secretive and are intended for specific pairs of eyes only which obviously don't include mine.

I dig into the pocket of my blue hoodie for a handkerchief. I remember storing one in here. Good to have a runny nose sometimes, isn't it? Oh! Found it. I tie it around my right hand to not leave fingerprints on the painted wooden frame. Fingerprints are hard to extract from rough surfaces but I need to be careful.

I turn the very small handle with some difficulty due to the reduced friction. It is a tight fit between the cables and the door. The room is too dark behind the doorframe. Another strange thing. I am sure that this is the gateway to hell. I disappear into the room.

The dark place inside gives no indication of what might be inside. I am mentally quarrelling with myself whether to keep the door open or to fumble for a light switch. The door has a door spring which means I will lose the thin sliver of light I have right now. I decide to let go of the door.

Finding the switches in the dark is much harder than I make it sound. The switchboard seems to resemble a keyboard more. (Kids, don't try this at home, especially not in a forbidden place where you don't know which blasted switch to press.)

I take a random guess and press a switch. I hope I didn't trigger the alarm system or something. No luck but at least no bad luck. I try another switch and another. On the Jeanine-knows-which try, I get the light switch.

The light is a punch to my retinae. I raise my hands in futile defence. My eyes get un-blinded after a minute. I check around for security cameras. I know the whole city is bugged with cameras stored in dark glass bubbles. No security cameras. The room is full of filing cabinets full to the brim. It must be some sort of archive or a record keeping office. I search the drawer in the desk, careful to place everything in its exact place. An identity card.

Alev White. Designation- Initiation department deputy. Address and all that 'if lost please return' information. A standard two-by-two inch photo of him with an expression that will make you pee your pants. I hope this expression was accidental. The photo shouts, "You will pay for your sins, Caleb Prior." Like a gospel. Albeit by a really angry angel whose halo has been stolen.

I try not to look at that reprimanding grandma of a picture. I look at the drawer; it has a lot of files which look rather important. This is because they don't have a layer of dust unlike the media archives. I think this room is Alev's office. There might be pretty important information here. The drawer contains very recent files but I need files of Norton's period. Working from the start to finish is always a good idea. Jeanine might be linked to this Norton in some way.

I go to the farthest wall which may have files on initiates in Norton's period. The drawer is marked with a label. This one is a year before the one I was finding. I see the cabinet below. Bingo. I open the drawer with the handkerchief-covered hand. There a lot of files which would take weeks to sort out. This includes files on each individual initiate. I grab the common file on all the initiates. My aim is to scan these and store it in my tab.

I grab the files and go out of the door. The sim room is left to handle. I switch the light off and turn the door closed. I avoid the huge mass of cables. I cross the sim room and go into the waiting room.

I turn the knob of the waiting room.

It. Is. Locked.

Oh. Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A murderer comes behind Caleb with a knife* Ha ha, only joking. Or am I? The previous chapter contained the song 'I'm So Sorry' by Imagine Dragons. This was from their album 'Night Visions' Guess the reference in this chapter. This is a Fall Out Boy Song. (I gave away too much already, didn't I?). Remember, Caleb's fate will not be revealed unless you give me a review.  
> *I am totally not threatening you to give me a review*.
> 
> Have an awesome day (mine will be because of all of you),
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	13. Silver Clouds With Grey Lining

**Caleb's POV**

What have I gotten myself into? I am sitting here on this cold bench cursing out loud in my mind. I only have myself to blame. Learnt my lesson today. Never, ever wander into dark rooms. There could be a deeper, philosophical meaning to this situation but I am too lazy and frustrated with the world to find it out.

I think about the layout of this whole place. A room in a room in a room. A very weird place. I saw a picture like this in my tab. It was captioned with 'Inception'. It showed a boy staring into many mirrors inside a mirror.

…

The waiting room seems like a setting for a crime scene. The sim room is even more so. Isn't that what murderers look for? Empty, desolate places with not a shadow of a witness. I keep the file beside me. I need to find a hiding place to stow in and find later. What will I say to Alev when he comes over in the morning? I could say that I was reviewing my fear simulations and coming up with strategies to battle them. I don't know if Alev will believe me. I remember him telling us that this was resource was open to all of us whenever we want to look at our simulations.

I should look at my simulations so when he checks it in the morning, he can see my entry in the computer records. I am dreading it so, so much.

Okay, this is the price you pay for sneaking out. My face scrunches up as if it could protect me from my mind's monsters.

I go to the table on which the computer is kept. The cloudy white serum has several of its twins in the drawers, the syringe too. I grab a needle and a vial and load the needle with the serum. I give the syringe a couple of sharp taps. I wouldn't want air in my bloodstream.

How do I inject myself? The question is answered when I have to stab my jugular with the needle. It is a very painful experience. I run to the seat quickly and wait for the serum to take effect. The blank white walls are the last thing I see. I am overwhelmed with the desire to leave a mark of my suffering on the cold white walls.

Come on; throw everything you have at me. I'm ready for anything, _any damn thing_.

Oh, I am so wrong.

A giant ball of black slime is hurled at my face, mocking me. What am I afraid of? Rotten-food-slimeball fights? I can feel liquid pooling near my legs. I glance at my legs. The fluid is a sickly green. My legs seem to be stuck to the ground and my face also. I touch my face and look at the sticky green goo. It looks like nothing else I've seen before.

My hands are entirely covered in the black gloop which seems to spread and slide down my arms. I can't help but do a fake-puke motion and be entirely disgusted. Honestly, this thing's stink is worse than Max's (the Dauntless leader) unwashed-for-a-week gym socks.

I evaluate the fluid. It is exactly the consistency of cornflour mixed in water. The more you try to fight it, the more it traps you. I tried to punch it and my hand was almost broken. It is a non-Newtonian fluid. (I tried this experiment and mom frowned at me hard for wasting an entire ration of cornflour.)

How do I fight it, without making it worse? I can submit but the burning is getting to bad to bear. It is a weird kind of burning, almost stinging but not quite. I can't put my finger on the exact feeling and I doubt that you would like to jump into this cesspool just to find out what it felt like.

It is not an acid burn, it is probably some organic compound derived from some peculiar plant. That may explain the green colour. I see around, I am trapped in a tiny rusted metal tank with the rust mixing in with the slime and imparting its own odour with the slime. I'd be thankful if my nose still works after this torment.

I spread my legs around slowly because moving too fast will make the fluid jam up. I look for an inlet/outlet, anything. After a foot or so, I can sense a tiny whirlpool below my feet. This is where the slime's coming from. I stamp on the whirlpool and it has no effect. I need a big weight to stop it.

Where is the weight? I bend down and find the drain. My olfactory nerves revolt but I need to get the hell outta here! It is covered by a really heavy drain cover. The drain cover (or the entrance to the Underworld) must have big holes in there. I form a plan inside my head but I almost expect another piece of bread to fall from the sky. The semi liquid seems to get thicker _after_ it erupts from the drain. I could lift the cover to make enough liquid dilute the entire tank before it thickens up or I could try to block the holes with the clothes I have on.

I have a gut feeling that blocking the holes wouldn't help. Time is running out and the burning is getting really bad, bad, and worse! My arms turn a scarlet-fever rash-y red. I wish I had Dauntless strength. The cover's made of cement and the really slow tugging will tear off my deltoid along with my biceps, triceps, external obliques and whatever it finds. My _zygomaticus major_ would also rip off due to the excessive frowning.

I pull the cement cover slowly, the water flow helps me. I have the cover in my hand for a second and I heave-ho it away with whatever strength I have left. The cover lands on the surface with an enormous 'plop!' a few centimetres away from my feet and sinks down.

The gargantuan force of the liquid threatens to bonk my head against the roof of the tank. I am thrown upwards but I submerge downwards a few seconds later.

Well done, I didn't even think of the possibilities of drowning. It is too late. The slime enters my nose and holy Styx, it burns like hell. My eyes seem to be going blind. The fluid gets into my ears and mouth. The taste is like a rotten egg dipped in an acid bath and a lot of dust too.

I am blind.

Deaf.

Anosmic.

Speaking is fighting a lion with a toothpick.

All pathways of information shut down. The slime covers each and every inch of my self.

This is what I feared, isn't it? I have no information for my brain to process, with my only lonely thoughts for company.

Despair, deep, dark, dense despair, fear's twin strikes me with a vicious maul. Time, the most ancient of all things, becomes a nonentity.

The simulation decides to show mercy on me.

It lets me go.

…

I open my eyes and can almost feel the slime on my eyelashes. I check my arms, the rashes never existed. I go to check the time on the computer and it shows eight minutes, good but not that good, considering eight minutes were spent in fighting only one simulation.

I go back to my bench and try to sleep there. But before that, I tuck the file in between the waistband of my jeans and the front of my blue hoodie. I am really thankful for baggy clothes now. I just need to make sure that Alev doesn't find the file on me in the morning.

Sleeping is a risky business. I could move around in my sleep and the file would be exposed, but even then I am human and I need my sleep. I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Sleep overcomes me almost instantly.

…

"Wake up, Caleb!" An arm shakes my shoulder vigorously.

"Huh, Beatrice, go away. I don't want to go to school." My voice is the perfect impersonation of a zombie.

"Who is Beatrice?" A deep male voice speaks. I jump out of the bench due to embarrassment and nearly hit Alev on the neck.

"Oof, you got my elbow."

"Sorry, Alev" I get up and rub my eyes. I check my hoodie discreetly, the file is there.

"How was I locked in here?" "How were you locked in here?" Both of us get to the question at the same time.

"Okay Caleb, I find it really strange to find you here locked up in the sim room."

"I had come here at night to undergo a simulation and come up with strategies to fight them. After doing the simulation, I got locked in." I wipe at a thin line of drool at the corner of my mouth. My eyes are crusty as well; I wonder how Alev is talking to me without running away. I rub my eyes frantically.

"How was I locked in, Alev?"

"It happens sometimes, actually the doorknob is fit with fingerprint mapping technology and it creates a virtual log of anyone who enters this room. That log malfunctions sometimes and the door gets locked."

"Even the doorknobs have computers in them?"

"Yes, they have." He doesn't say this with a look of pride but merely states a fact.

"Who is Beatrice?" He gets curious, and prods around for information.

"She is my sister, she chose Dauntless this year and she was really annoying. Her wake up pranks were the worst. Once, I found a really big insect on my face. Imagine having a big black beetle on your face when you wake up." My rambling is a force of nature; God knows whom it decides to strike.

"So you confused me with your sister?" He has a faint smile on his face. It is probably the first time I saw him smile.

"Yes, sir"

"Oh, no need to get so uptight in the morning. I get strict only after 8.30 am. It is only seven." His smile grows a little bigger. It reminds me of someone else's. Who can it be?

"Facing any problems here?"

"No" My reply is remote. The file inside my hoodie grows heavier. I can't help but see this as a severe breach in the trust Alev placed on me.

"Now run along, today has new challenges for you."

"Thank you, Alev."

I run to the dorm, careful not to drop the file on the ground. It looks like I enjoy putting my hand in the lion's mouth.

The whole dorm is catching the last few minutes of sleep. Might be a good, restful sleep for some, might be nightmarish for others.

I stow the file carefully between layers of clothes. I say layers of clothes because Anahita (and Tristan of course) gets me a new tee almost every day.

I go through the morning drill. Brush, shower, dress, wear shoes. I go outside to the park.

…

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Rhiannon runs outside in the park. Her tank top makes me notice things I didn't notice before.

She is so damn beautiful. My gaze cannot help staring at her like a creep. It travels along her body. I scold myself. My face resembles an Abnegation mother's typical candy-denying expression. I remember mom used to wear that face sometimes.

I hold my head in exasperation. She notices me and comes near.

"Having a headache, Mr. Prior? Want me to bring an aspirin?" She mimics an impersonal, cold, medical voice but her eyes give her away. They are pools of liquid bronze and emeralds, with small flecks of brown in them.

"No thank you, Dr. White. I was just thinking about something."

"Doctor? Really?"

"Oh yeah, and a really cute engineer as well." Oh, how did I learn to flirt so painfully obviously? I need to stop it. We are barely on the 'friends' plane. I need to make sure of that before adding 'girl' to it.

She goes quiet. I scrunch my face up.

"Was it that bad?" I ask timidly.

"Not at all. What made you grace me with your presence this early?" The subtle flirting from her side is also not unnoticed. She does it so well.

"Just wanted to get out of my bed and into the sunlight."

"Anyway, I got those media files you asked for. They're in my dorm. Want me to get it right now?" Her tone goes all businesslike, no trace of joking.

"Yes please."

"Aye aye, captain! I'll be right back!" She sets off into a run, and I can't help but think that it is clumsier than her usual jog or sprint.

She runs to the dorm. I wait for a few minutes. This girl is completely out of my league, planet as well. She switches personalities so efficiently. A minute ago her voice was all businesslike and half a minute ago it was something out of a comedy show. She is unpredictable as a river. It reminds me of someone else. Beatrice.

She comes back and presses the tiny flash drive into my palm. She stares into my eyes for a second and my heart is trying to match the speed of a mouse's heartbeat, which is something averaging 500 beats per minute. Pure energy shoots into my hand.

"Goodbye! Today has new challenges for you." She says and runs off.

Bizarre. This was the exact thing Alev said to me before I ran off from the sim room.

…

"The test was a roundhouse kick, sucker punch and a full nelson, all in one." Tristan contributes his opinion to the conversation. He loves to compare everything (especially surprise physics and math tests) to a fighting move. I don't even know what a sucker punch or a full nelson or a roundhouse kick is.

"What is a roundhouse kick, sucker punch or a full nelson?" Anahita voices out the curiosity in my mind.

"Alright, I can explain the theory but don't laugh at my demonstration. I was never good at practical fighting. Those velocity and acceleration variables were too 'variable' for a good calculated move. And I cannot do things on instinct. Fighting places you higher in the Dauntless hierarchy. I never had any use for fighting and Dauntless never had any use for a nerd like me." Tristan sounds almost bitter when saying this.

"Even I find no use for fighting. I think everything can be solved with a warm, loving hug. Not to criticise Dauntless, but they like to bulldoze through everything before thinking. Have you seen their body modifications? I bet most of them were drunk while getting those." Anahita says.

"I agree, I am not Dauntless now, you are free to criticise my former faction."

There they set off again. I can't help feeling more and more like a weird third wheel. Both of them quarrel in a not-really way.

I walk to the dorm. The flash drive is carefully stowed in my glass cabinet. I have the key stored in the bottom of my midnight blue sneaker. It is odd, but pesky keys are most commonly depicted as falling out of hoodie or shirt pockets.

The dorm is empty. Most of the time it is. Most of the initiates feel trapped in this dorm and try to find a piece of home by roaming around the whole unfamiliar compound.

I take the key out of my sneaker. I open the cabinet and take the tiny flash drive out of the pocket of another pair of jeans I own.

The tab does not have a USB port. Irritatingly, it has two micro-USB ports. Well, my bad. I need to get an adaptor from wherever I need to get it.

I look at the map in the tab, my new best friend. All electronic equipment is manufactured in the miscellaneous manufacturing department but the sale depot is in the media office. It is so strange; it would be better having the sale depot in the manufacturing facility itself. Well, I'm not bothering with finding the motive of this placement.

I go up to the second floor. Helpdesk 'Violet' gives me the usual 'May I help you?' stuff.

"I want to go to the electronic devices sale depot. Please don't tell me that I cannot buy stuff from there before initiation ends." Wow, I am getting so desperate.

"No sir, you are welcome to buy whatever you want from the electronic devices depot. Please go to the end of this hallway." She points forward.

That was unnecessary. There is only one wide hallway in this part. The left side of the hallway has three wooden doors while the right side is an enormous glass wall, showing the underbelly of the great media office. Where the seeds of rumours about Abnegation are planted.

I see Jeanine talking to one lady in the office. The thick glass wall makes it impossible to hear parts of the conversation. The lady looks fearful but it is not the kind of fear that you have for someone you respect deeply, but the kind of fear which is evident in life and death situations.

Is everyone that afraid of Jeanine here? Her cold blue eyes send chills down my spine and I am standing at least fifteen metres away. I know her method of threatening, it is either blackmail or stating cold hard facts which have so much of truth in them that it hypnotises, no, makes you a slave. It is all subtle manipulation, moves and countermoves.

She would never get down to the level of threatening directly. People who threaten directly show that there is something they need from you. Jeanine makes it look like you are doing the thing for yourself but actually it is her you are serving.

I go into the depot. It is bright like a dentist's office. It stuns my eyes for a moment. I get the cable quickly and run away from the depot. I don't even notice the cheerful lady trying to make conversation with me. I avoid all eye contact and go into robot mode.

I am running for my life right now.

…

I don't stop running until I reach the dorm.

I attach the cable to the flash drive and the tab. I hide the connected flash drive underneath my leg.

The amount of data on the drive will take years to sort through. I put a few filters on the search bar and seven reports pop up.

Three of the articles report killing but it is not manslaughter. Instead, it looks like suicide attempts. The time period is around initiation. The people are two sixteen year olds and one eighteen year old. One sixteen year old is from Dauntless, the other is from Abnegation while the eighteen year is from Erudite. The names are Josh Stevenson from Erudite, Anneliese Smith from Dauntless and Carmen Harrington from Abnegation.

A few months earlier, around the beginning of the year, there is another nineteen year old dead from Candor. His name is Steve Yates.

The pool of people is varied but it is in the sixteen to eighteen year old gap. Steve was killed. The other three were suicide attempts. There are many differences between Steve and the other three people.

Steve was killed in a road accident the common area, near the factionless sector. The other three had committed suicide in their faction compounds. Two of them hung themselves while the third jumped into the chasm.

The road accident was a head on collision with an Amity truck and Steve was said to be 'under the influence of an intoxicant'.

The road accident seems totally separate with the aptitude flexibility. Why would three people decide to commit suicide in the exact same day? Carmen committed suicide in the wee hours of morning. Anneliese apparently got drunk and jumped into the chasm at night. That is the most preferable method of killing yourself in Dauntless. I need to ask Tristan about that.

The two cases are too much of a coincidence except the two year age difference. They both killed themselves on the same day and the modus operandi were the same. Hanging themselves.

There is definitely something fishy here. The other people from the initiate class would be aged twenty six something now. I need to look at the common initiate file now.

I grab the common file from the cabinet, hide it under my shirt and get inside a bathroom stall. I stand inside the (kinda smelly) stall and take the file out. There are sixteen people in that year, ten Erudite born and six transfers.

A brilliant idea hits me.

I look at the poor results list. If there was a factionless person on the list then I could maybe talk to him or her. They probably would not have any underlying loyalty for Erudite. If I ask any members then they would smell a rat and register a complaint against me.

There is only one factionless person in the whole list and he became factionless by choice. His name is Jordan McCullough. He would probably be twenty six now. I just need to figure out a way to gain his trust.

I get out of the bathroom and stuff the file hurriedly in the cabinet. Just as I am about to close it, A really unwelcome visitor pops in.

"What are you acting so sneaky about, Stiff?" Xander asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for cliffhangers like these. The last song was "Where Did The Party Go? by Fall Out Boy. It is from their album 'Save Rock And Roll'. Guess this song. It is from the same band. By the way, has anyone read Trials Of Apollo? I haven't, I want to know that whether it is a standalone or it is a series. Seriously, I wonder how all people could have waited after all the truly horrible cliffhangers in Mark of Athena and House of Hades. Well, did you catch my Hunger Games reference? If you didn't read the chapter carefully and think of Plutarch Heavensbee.
> 
> Good day/night (evening, afternoon, whatever)
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	14. Do You Know Your Enemy?

**Caleb's POV**

"What are you acting so sneaky about, Stiff?" Xander asks.

Chills of the sub-zero kind travel down my spine. What is he, of all people doing in the transfer dorm? He is an Erudite born, isn't he? What twisted motive would his crooked mind come up with?

"I asked you a question, Stiff, or did you lose your tongue?" His tone is even colder than absolute zero, if that is possible.

"I was keeping my clothes in the cabinet. What are you doing in the transfer dorm? Trying to recruit a few rookies into you little group?"

I need to keep up the act and distract him. I am ready to take a punch or two if it means not being factionless. I am hoping frantically that he does not check the cabinet. I need to get that file in Alev's office as soon as possible. I am praying that the door to Alev's office is not fit with the fingerprint mapping technology.

"Oh, a question with a counter-question? Sounds like the job of a guilty party."

"The only guilty party here is you, who came to the transfer dorm." I feign confidence. The knot in my stomach is growing tenser by the second.

"What are you hiding in the cabinet, anyway?"

"It's none of your business. Now go away and leave me alone. No matter whatever I do, I am always on your hit list."

"Don't try to paint a better picture of yourself, Stiff. You are no better than anybody else here. Don't think I didn't notice you glancing into another initiate's answers in the computer exam."

My blood touches absolute zero. How did he know that? I am fervently trying to find a way out when suddenly the stream of thoughts is interrupted.

Xander knees me in the gut swiftly. All the air goes out of my lungs in an 'ufff'. I fall backwards down on the floor, my body unable to support me anymore.

 _This isn't a simulation._ It is the first coherent thought my mind can form. Before my mind gains full coherence, Xander is out of the room.

I won't let him win. I need to save proof of all he did but before I need to return the files and flash drive back to the office and Rhiannon.

It is not possible right now. The broad daylight is an enemy. I need to return the file today itself. I hope Xander doesn't keep any guards posted at night. I think the best time to go inside the office is 1.00 am. The only hurdle is that there shouldn't be fingerprint mapping technology in Alev's office. I don't think there are cameras in Alev's office. Anybody would find it creepy to have a camera right at you all the time of the day.

The door didn't look high tech. It didn't have a lock as well. Maybe it relied too much on the camouflage. I know I shouldn't underestimate the opponent but I think most of my assumptions are right.

I need to go throughout this night normally. The only difference is that enormous boulder settled in my gut threatening to drown me. It is 8.00 pm now. These five hours are the most dangerous of my life.

…

"Brrrrriiinnngggg!"

Another announcement alarm. Couldn't they leave us alone for one day? I dread leaving the file unattended in my cabinet but we need to go to the main building.

We get into a line, most initiates' faces hovering from extremely sleepy, extremely hungry to extremely hyperactive. We go to the main building and wait for Jeanine to come. At last she arrives, her suit ironed to mechanical perfection.

"Initiates, I want to make an important announcement."

Huh, what did we come here for? I guess knowledge is inversely proportional to common sense.

"I have come to announce an opportunity for brilliant initiates who are excelling in our initiation program."

What? What does she want to convey?

"The opportunity is that brilliant initiates will be put in a special programme under my guidance. There will be two initiates from the Transfer pool and two initiates from the Legacy group."

Oh, so the Erudite born are called legacies here. No surprise there. Someone raises her hand. She asks about the field of specialisation in Jeanine's program and when the names of the 'brilliant initiates' will be announced.

"The names of the initiates will be announced the day after tomorrow, after the Visiting Day. The field of specialisation is bio science and applied technology." Jeanine replies.

Visiting day. The phrase stirs up a long forgotten memory in me. It is strange that I didn't even think of my family for so many days.

Now that it has come to me, I think about Mom and Dad. I have been too selfish to choose myself over them. How broken they must be, without their children. It is too late to regret my choice now. The only times I will see my parents are on visiting day, which happens once in every year. They would grow farther and farther apart from me, the only memories left will be my choice and its effects and the general spectrum of doubt and grief which I label 'selfishness'.

I cannot wait for tomorrow. Even if tomorrow lasted for an eternity, it wouldn't be enough for me. I really love my Mom and Dad, even if they don't come to visit. Courtesy of new rules implemented by… you guessed it right, Jeanine Matthews. No member of Abnegation is allowed in the Erudite compound.

We are shovelled out of the main hall and into the dining room. My mind goes blank and I sit on the nearest table. I put my arms on the elbows and put my head down. I close my eyes and think.

This is a pretty frequent occurrence in my case. I usually close my eyes and think. I used to do this as a little kid also.

The initiation, my parents, Rhiannon, Tristan, Anahita, Alev, Xander, Jeanine mix together and make a gigantic whirlpool in my mind. This whirlpool does not allow me to hold onto one thought for longer than a while. Everything mixes up together, Mom and Alev, Rhiannon talking to Beatrice, my dad in place of the lady at the newspaper office. Everything whirlwinds together and leaves me entirely confused.

My arms are a prison, imprisoning my head, my thoughts and my mind. The whirlpool condenses into a smaller and smaller space when finally its power is too much to contain. It takes me along, to its centre.

I sink down, down and down, hoping to find the eye of the storm, somewhere calm to sort this mess out.

It is a strange flashback of my life, as if someone mixed up the order of the frames of the film. It is vague; the pictures appear as if under water.

I remember me as a kid, using an old rusted bike Beatrice and I dug up from the factionless donation pool. It was so old that even the factionless didn't want it.

Fast forward to the first day of Upper Levels, my arms and legs were too big for me. I felt like a clumsy gorilla or something. In the first day itself, Susan had crashed into me and dropped my books onto the ground.

Slow backward to skipping and running in the empty land near the factionless sector. My bike is still there but I was getting too big to use it.

Mom gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek on the day of the Aptitude test.

Dad gives me a hug and tells me about the government. He told me once about how he ingested mud when he was a kid. I used to do the same thing.

Beatrice asking me about some kind of a math problem, disguised as a riddle. We used to do those sometimes.

The last three memories bring tears to my eyes. I can feel them running down my face and onto the fabric of my sleeves. The tears drag me down further.

There is no calm in the middle of the vortex. It is a myth. There is only pure darkness in the eye of the storm. The memories morph into bloodcurdling retellings of simulations.

An arm shakes my shoulders vehemently. I wake (or sleep?) in this strange half state between awake and asleep. I raise my head and wipe my face fiercely to erase the tear tracks.

"Are you okay, Caleb?" Anahita looks worriedly at me.

"It's all right" I reply.

"You are thinking about the visiting day, right?"

How did she read my mind? My eyes blow wide.

"Now you are wondering about how I read your mind, right?" She says with an unmistakable aura of confidence. I am dumbfounded.

"We were taught to read a person's emotions. Sounds like a Candor job but it isn't. Reading emotions is a very important part and a useful tool while counselling others. Even I think about home, you know?"

"What was your home like?" I ask. I need to seriously hide my emotions. No wonder the eyes are 'windows to the soul'.

"I did tell you about it earlier, didn't I? Well, it was nothing interesting. I was an only child, unlike you two with annoying brothers and sisters. I used to work in the farms…"

"Don't tell me about what you did. What was your family like? Tell me anything else, crazy pranks, weird fetishes, etc. Don't speak about your parents if you don't want to." I interrupt rudely.

"Alright, you asked for it. I used to climb a tree with a basket full of mud in my arms. Not an apple tree, mind you because apple trees are not very tall. There is a huge willow in the farthest corner of the field where I used to prowl. One day, I dropped mud on top of my father, who was standing under the tree with Johanna Reyes."

"What happened after? For the record, I would never have the courage to pull a prank like that on Marcus Eaton." My mouth expands next.

"Nothing, Johanna gave a big smile at me, which looked very weird provided that half of her hair was caked with mud. She just said to my father, "Feisty daughter you have, Joseph." I was a mere ten year old then. Only Johanna and my Mom called my Dad with his first name." She is barely able to conceal a smile.

I laugh out loud, drawing attention of half of the dining hall at me. Everyone looks over at me from their tablets. I go silent. As a result, the dining hall goes awkwardly silent.

"Don't mind them, Caleb. These people do not recognise the benefits of a good laugh. They just go on every day with their serotonin loaded selves." She says this out loud and is careful to make it heard to everyone in the hall. I am mentally applauding her. What courage.

…

Dinner ends. I go back to my room and I am passing through the main hall when Xander stops me.

"Well, lookie here, Stiff. I have a little piece of truth for you." He deliberately draws the attention of many initiates around him.

"And what may that quoted 'piece of truth' be?" I say it with an air of indifference.

"Just listen to this piece carefully." A wicked sneer, characteristic of Xander.

He reads aloud an article about Abnegation. He also talks about Tobias Eaton, an Abnegation transfer to Dauntless, who was a victim of severe verbal and physical assault meted out to him by his father, Marcus Eaton. I decide that I need to dig on Marcus Eaton next. My face goes red with anger at Xander's words.

"What do you want to prove, huh? That you are better than us? Stop it, because it is completely futile." I give him a shove, we are evenly matched and my eyes meet his in a severe glare.

"What if that is what I am trying to prove? You will realise this once you see that your previous faction isn't as shiny-bright as you think it to be. Do you even know who your enemy is?" I would love to flip the bird at him right now. I walk away.

"Scared, Stiff?" The people around me demand for answers. I would not stoop so low as to pick a fight with him. That must be the exact thing he is looking for.

I run away with burning eyes. I go into the library. It is about to close in an hour but I need to get rid of these tears.

I enter the library and slam the door. I grab a book but it fails to grab my attention. I go to the enormous window and look outside. Two apartment complexes frame my view of the enormous marsh and the starry night.

An enormous horde of Dauntless are running through the marsh. They have fluorescent blue lights strapped onto their chests. I search for Beatrice frantically. I do catch a hint of long blonde hair but it could be a trick of the light, or lack of it.

A Dauntless train whooshes by. The same unanswerable question comes to my mind once again. How do the Dauntless even get on these trains?

The crowd of Dauntless run towards the Ferris wheel, probably in pursuit of the next hit of adrenalin. They are running, running, getting farther and farther apart from my vision. 'I crane my neck and look towards the defunct Ferris wheel.

Half of the Dauntless get into one group while the other half is in another. The tiny black figures seem to be engaged in a heated argument while other tiny black figures just loll about. They are careful to maintain group loyalty. This is visible because even when they loll, the wide split between the groups is easily visible.

The game starts right now. I don't know what it is. The groups run away from each other. The first group has a neon green flag and the second one has a neon orange flag.

Two people from the first group climb up the Ferris wheel. My mouth blows wide open once again. Are they crazy? Do they have no regard for their lives? My heart crawls up my throat as I witness this probable suicide attempt. I would love to go and give them a slap to their faces.

The first one slips and the second one catches him/her. What the heck is going on here? Is it a part of Dauntless initiation? I pray for Beatrice frantically.

…

I go into the bathroom and lift my shirt. A dark, sickly blue-purple bruise is visible on my stomach. I check my head for injuries. There is a minuscule bump on my head which hurts a lot. I swear revenge on Xander.

…

I walk into the empty and dark hallway. Wise of me to skip the waking up, getting ready crap, isn't it? I was born ready. I clutch the file underneath my hoodie and go towards my new home, the sim room.

I find the light switch quickly and switch it on. I go into Alev's office quickly and slip out of it in half the time.

I go back into the dorm and lay on my bed with only one thought in my mind. Visiting Day.

…

Only later would I see the figure standing in the other hallway, grinning with glee at finding the perfect blackmail material.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Visiting Day is coming! I have many big plans for that one. Expect a meeting with the factionless. The previous reference was from the song 'The Phoenix' by Fall Out Boy. It's from their album Save Rock And Roll. Guess this one, Hint- its a Green Day song from their album 21st Century Breakdown although I am not sure.
> 
> Adieu and auf wiedersehen,
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	15. Pay Attention To The Cracked Streets And The Broken Homes

**Caleb's POV**

Visiting Day. A big punch to my face. The bruises are visible. I plan the whole day in my head, my mom won't come so I am left free for today. I need to go to factionless to visit Jordan McCullough to glean information about Norton and Jeanine.

I go to the bathroom and go through the rigmarole of getting ready. I go to the café and grab three sandwiches for myself. I stuff them in my mouth hurriedly and stow the other two in my hoodie pocket. I'm too distracted to eat them now. I should take some more food with me, I'm going to factionless. So, I grab a bag from the bag and stuff bread, cheese, apples and some candy in it.

Everyone's awake. I need to schedule going to factionless after an hour and a half so that I am not visible amidst the chaos.

I go into the library discreetly. I need to find something to do for one and a half hours. It's so bad that Erudite has made me so impatient. I press the flash drive into my shoe. I go to the library hurriedly.

I trip on my own two feet in the process of going to the library. I grab a teen romance novel from the shelf. (I know, it's really cheesy but don't tell anyone) I look at the bright red faded cover with pukey pink hearts on the cover page. The cover still retains some of its glossy, glittery graphics. People would question either my mental state or my gender if they see me with this book. Silly, stupid people. I really don't like stereotyping.

"Hello, intellectual soldier." A voice says very close to my ear. It is a really recognisable voice. My face grows a big smile and I turn around. Rhiannon. I don't have much time to talk to her but I am happy to see her at least for a little while.

"I won't comment on your choice of reading." She says.

"This was only what my half-asleep brain decided to pick up." She is still very close to my ear. My heart rate touches the sky and when it decides to burst out of my chest, Rhiannon takes up her seat beside me.

"I need give back what is rightfully yours." I bend down to take the flash drive out of my shoe.

"What happened? Are you finding something?" She asks.

"No, I wanted to give the flash drive back to you. It is inside my shoe." I reply.

"Weird hiding place, isn't it? I hope my flash drive doesn't stink. Well, your sentence rhymed and mine almost did."

"Trust me, it won't. It is tried and tested." I laugh.

Her mouth goes wide. "So, you mean to say that my flash drive has met your feet before? If so, how many times?"

"In an indirect way. My feet are covered with my socks. Once or twice." I reply with a smile.

"Ew, gross." She flicks my head in 'you-sold-your-brain' way. Her hand messes up my hair in a way that Beatrice usually used to do. I am really sad. The energy travels up my head next. I could whoop with joy but I decide to pout, yes, in the sticking-your-bottom-lip-out way. I am such a baby.

"What happened?" She comes nearer and pokes my cheek. Wow, twice in a single day.

"Nothing, I was totally thrown off my track of thinking, or whatever you say, by an action or another thought. Imagine, thrown off your track of thought by another thought. I wanted to say something else to you but I totally forgot what I was saying. I was supposed to think what I had forgotten to say to you but I am here, speaking something totally different to you while I was supposed to say something else." Ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble.

"Whoa soldier, calm down, calm down. Follow me." She takes in a deep breath and grabs my shoulder. It is totally unnecessary. You can probably guess the reason of my being thrown off. I take a deep breath and collect the mess I made.

"Well, I do that sometimes. I wanted to ask another favour. I want the news articles of last year. I need something to compare the data of twelve years ago to last year."

"Alright, but don't expect any more stuff from me. The source will probably whoop my ass after this request."

"Who is this source, may I know?" She swore? There goes another layer of unpredictability on top.

"No." I decide to pout but she already stops me.

"Don't even think of pouting, you sixteen year old baby. I have given my answer." She raises her index finger in a 'don't even think of it' way.

"Is anyone from your family coming over today?" I am such a sadist sometimes.

"No, as I would be going to them." I laugh.

"Will anyone from your family come?" The laugh dries up.

"Abnegation" This word explains everything. A tear slips out. I thought I could handle this but I overestimated myself.

"I am so sorry." Her eyes are pools of regret.

"It's okay." I put my head on the table. She pats my back. As soon as her hand sets itself on my back, I shoot up straight from my seat and hurriedly wipe the tears. Her hand gets caught in the way but she takes it away.

"You gave me a heart attack there." Her eyes blow wide, displaying even more of their hazel-ness.

"We'll do something that witch Jeanine. Don't worry." Something about her words tells me they aren't empty ones.

"Okay, I'll fly off then. There are places to be, and they are waiting with an empty seat for me." I run away. The sign-off was excellent wasn't it?

I fly away. If I go any slower, her magnetism would pull me there back again. I need to run faster than the world record. What was the name, Jordan McCullough, isn't it?

I plan the day out in my head. I need to take the public bus which leads to Abnegation. From there, it's a short walk.

I go to the main hall, where the initiates are already lounging around, waiting for their parents. It is ten a.m. now but it doesn't seem like it. The atmosphere resembles the ending of the initiation. It is just a brief respite from initiation. An illusion. A lie.

The scene is too much to bear. I get out of the main hall and set into a run. My sneakers slap the well-maintained road and I turn my head a ninety degrees to look at the marsh. The defunct Ferris wheel sticks out like a sore thumb in the sky. It used to be functional a long, long time ago.

Somebody said that thing and the long piece of land used to be lit up like a carnival and had a lot of visitors in its halcyon days, millennia ago. The marsh used to be a big lake, Lake Michigan. It is very hard to imagine such a big expanse of water in one place.

My mind goes back to the flash of long blonde hair and the illusion of Beatrice. Another question mark. I turn my head to the front again; you never know when an Erudite will bonk his head against you and demand the medical fee from you.

I walk slowly, there's nothing much to do today. I cross the huge empty land surrounding the Erudite compound and go into the common area bordering the Candor area.

I'm going in. The Candor compound sticks out like a huge cement pillar. It is really that, a tall, rectangular pillar of cement, chrome and steel. There is the Merciless Mart in front of the huge building. I don't think anyone would need to get out of that ginormous building. There are a few black-and white-clad souls roaming before that enormous building. The comparison looks ridiculous, like that story of that beanstalk my mom used to tell me. The people are smaller than half of Jack.

The bus stops at the bus stop. It is a luxury (stopping at least) that the Dauntless do not enjoy. I get on the bus and it feels like only yesterday that I got on this bus, on my way to the choosing ceremony. Such a contradiction, in Erudite the ceremony felt like 2000 light years away. I am panting like crazy; I am really out of shape.

I attract a lot of weird looks from others. I am the only blue clad person on the bus. Many grey people look at me in a way that they think is discreet but it is not. I don't bother giving up my seat to somebody. Pity, the older Caleb would frown hard at me with pressed-together lips.

The bus stops in the Abnegation sector. My old home is not my home anymore. The cookie-cutter houses don't hold that appeal of routine and peace anymore, because I know, beneath this grey and quiet façade, this is the faction which has the most discord among its people. Marcus Eaton seems to be the only person in this faction who is recognisable to other people. The rest seem invisible.

Marcus Eaton also doesn't seem as golden as before. The image is tarnished, if the accusations of child abuse of Tobias Eaton are correct.

The rebel rose bush greets me again. The coral hue of it doesn't seem as ghostly as that day. It seems normal, and at the same time abnormal. I wonder where Susan and Robert are. I cannot gather the courage to enter the Black household right now. The public building where all meetings of Abnegation are held is the only change of scenery in this sea of conformity.

I need to get moving. No need of unnecessary nostalgia. I need to go to the edge of the sector. The factionless sort-of headquarters is situated here. The factionless are concentrated here, although there are isolated pockets of them near Amity and in the common areas.

The challenge is that it is almost too far a way to walk. I am sorry to say this, but I am really out of shape. Wonder why I denied those free car rides offered by Susan and her dad almost every day.

I am panting like a dog when I reach the end of the Abnegation sector. Not far away now. I'm tempted to sit on the sidewalk for a while to catch my breath. The mud and dust on it spoil the plan just a _little_ bit. I pause for a while.

I can see the cracked walls streaked with millennia old grime of the factionless sector. There are people uselessly milling around but most of it is empty because most of them are in Amity for a low-paying, crappy job: weaving fabric. I look at the place, how could people ever live here? The road is nonexistent; the buildings are on the brink of nonexistence. The hungry, blank faces stare at me and the big backpack I carry but are too afraid to talk or steal the bag. The vacuous eyes, malnourished people with the torn, dirty clothes are the picture of desolation.

"Do you have a bit of food? I didn't eat since yesterday." A tiny boy, barely reaching my hoodie tugs at it and asks in the way that only little children can; his shining brown eyes reflect hope. He looks to be about six, but I couldn't be sure, it could be malnourishment.

"Yes, what food do you want? I have some candy for you." I give him a wide smile. Her face smiles wider, the cracked lips stretch broad and threaten to snap the face in half. His wild black cloud of dusty hair nods wildly.

"But before you give it to me, follow me." He leads me to a lonely alley not far away.

I hand over some candy, a loaf of bread and some cheese to him.

"Thank you so much, sir." He says solemnly, like an oath.

"Tell me your name first."

"My name is Ashton, also known as Ash. Thank you so much for the food, my mother and baby sister will be so happy. Thank you once again. Well, I should run, before someone snatches it from me." The little boy hugs me (the side of my legs really). The smile on my face grows automatically.

"You're welcome, now run along; you wouldn't want your mom and baby sister to go hungry, would you? But before you go, do you know where Jordan McCullough lives?"

"He lives there." He points to another broken building, boarded with plywood.

"Thank you, I only had candy once on my birthday two years ago." He gives me another big smile and runs away with the food. Ashton is smart. I have to give him that. It is so bad that these little children do not even get education. Everybody knows the things they go through, but no one _knows_ the things they go through. I thought Abnegation children had less, but these children have lesser.

I go over to the building. I wonder why it is boarded up like that. Maybe for the illusion of invisibility. The people of the other factions believe that they live isolated, but it is the natural tendency of people of any kind to form communities.

I go over to the cracked door. I knock on it. I know I have extra food in my bag, but these people are unpredictable. They don't fit anywhere. You don't know whether you'll be greeted with a kind smile or a kick to the gut.

The cheap door does nothing to conceal the sound of footsteps. The door opens, the door to all answers and the person providing them.

The door opens and a man peeks out from them. He is dressed in a Dauntless jacket, Erudite trousers and a torn red Amity shirt.

"What do you want?" His voice is surprisingly amiable.

"I am Caleb Prior, an Erudite initiate. May I know your name?"

"I am Jordan McCullough. What do you want?" Bingo. The one I was looking for. I say a silent thank you to that little boy, Ashton.

"I want to know about Erudite and its initiation process." Better to put all of the cards on the table immediately.

"What's in it for me?" His voice turns bitter. Anyone's would, if they were talking about their persecutors. I don't blame him.

"You won't go hungry for at least a couple of days."

"Okay then, come on in. I can't very well refuse, can I?" He leads me inside. It is a rundown room with a pallet and dirty blankets for a bed and some wooden boxes for chairs. There is a table, with one leg half broken and the table threatens to spill whatever food is on it, a couple of soup cans that any Abnegation volunteer can recognise.

"Yes, what do you want to know exactly about the initiation process?" He rubs at his unkempt stubble, which is coated with probably today's breakfast or yesterday's dinner.

"When you went through your initiation, the leader was Norton, wasn't he?"

"Yes. He was probably equal to or worse than Jeanine. He expected from all of us to do things a certain way. Those who didn't fit in, you can see them here. It's only getting worse; the most factionless come from Dauntless, the close second is Erudite. There are a handful of Amity here, those who got sick of the puking-rainbows-and-sunshine life."

I get a heart attack (figurative, of course) I gulp and utter a silent prayer for Beatrice. I definitely do _not_ want to see her here.

"Did you ever hear of aptitude flexibility, the same as not 'fitting in'?" I ask.

"I know, kid, I did my research when I was in Erudite. I have been watching all of this for so many years. Aptitude flexibility is known as divergence now. The supposed divergents, who are rejected by their faction people, end up here. I don't know ending up here is worse or dying." He replies. Dying?

Okay, so this is the missing puzzle piece. He says it so fearlessly, divergence is a really dirty word in the factions.

"How do they die?"

"The favoured method of Dauntless is jumping into the chasm. The method of the Erudite is inorganic chemical poison. The method of the Amity, though rarely used is a very concentrated extract of poison ivy. It is ironic; the most painful method is the Amity poison. You know that they really aren't suicide attempts, do you?" My face goes wide. Cold, premeditated murder? Could the factions get any sicker than this? This almost compels me to join the factionless. A feeling of cold disgust wraps itself around my heart like a snake.

"Sick, isn't it? This almost compels me to join you." I say.

"Don't think of coming here if you aren't confirmed divergent. You won't find clemency here, although Evelyn would be pleased to find a new recruit."

"Who is Evelyn?"

"Don't you know she is the unofficial leader of the factionless? She is Evelyn Johnson, formerly known as Evelyn Eaton." What? A resurrection of the dead? He looks at my expression and gives me a sick smile.

"You are probably thinking about how she rose from her grave, aren't you?" He reads my mind.

"Yes" I squeak.

"But trust me, she is alive. The Abnegation just helped her fake her death. She just wanted to get out of the hellhole called home. She is alive and she is waking us up."

The revelation is almost too difficult to digest. Oh, so it looks like Abnegation aren't as good as they portray themselves to be. The whole faction was probably afraid to face ridicule about the leader's wife who wants to leave the faction. I wonder what he meant by waking up. I wait for him to elaborate but he keeps quiet.

"What about your end of the deal, I told you what you wanted to know." He breaks the silence.

"Oh, I forgot." I hand over whatever is left in my bag, which includes two loaves of bread, cheese, some apples and half a bag of candy.

"Thank you. So, I guess my job's done." He says it solemnly, although he smiles with his eyes. He cracks a small smile when he sees the candy. I guess everyone's got a kid in them.

"You're welcome. So, I guess, I should take my leave then." I say and he nods. I go to the door and He follows me.

"Thank you for the information." I say.

"No problem, bring ice-cream for me the next time." He replies.

"Sure." I give a small smile.

I exit the door. He closes it behind me.

I look at the street one last time. I wish my bag was big enough so that it could fit in food for each one of them. I think about the little boy and Jordan. I wish I could come here every three days, just like I did in Abnegation.

I resolve to bring a book for Ashton so that his mom could read it to him. I guess he was too big for the city officials to put up for adoption in Abnegation. At least Abnegation offers a better life. I think what the children who get left behind, like Ashton go through. I mutter a prayer for his family, Jordan, all of factionless, the entire city and what lies beyond.

There is an old lady going down the street who reminds me of June, another lady I met when I went for a stroll in the middle of the night before the Choosing Ceremony. I still have a couple of sandwiches in my hoodie. It is not enough, it could never be enough.

The thought brings tears to my eyes. They roll down and I flick them away.

Every little thing I can do for them will never be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was sad, wasn't it? The next chap's gonna be the visiting day from Rhiannon's POV. The last chapter's reference was from 'Know Your Enemy' which was a Green Day song from their album 21st Century Breakdown. Yes, I'm still stuck in the 1990-2010 punk rock-alternative era. I'm so ancient. Although I do listen to Fall Out Boy. Most of the stuff I listen to was made even before I was born or was a toddler. Hey, are there any My Chemical Romance fans out here? I discovered them recently, though they broke up three years ago. So sad of me to discover a band which doesn't even exist. Aaaand, like all the other fans, (I don't know what the fans are called) I'm still hoping for their reunion. Guess the reference in this chapter. (You can guess, it is a Green Day song)
> 
> Good day (the day's green for me!) (and give your goodwill to the factionless)
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	16. Say Goodbye To The Ones That We Love

**Say Goodbye To The Ones That We Love,**

**Say Hello To The Ones In Control.**

**Rhiannon's POV**

Visiting Day. What a useless day. It is all an illusion, for the legacies and the transfers as well. She rubs at her eyes to get the boogers out of them. Her hair is its usual cloud. She gets ready and Willow greets her. She would trade a conversation with Caleb over one with Willow any day. Caleb. The name sends a downright weird feeling through her stomach, but it is the good kind, not the bad one. She tells herself to not be stupid. Only Caleb could bear her word bombs. He does that by throwing word bombs even worse than hers.

She desperately tries to stop thinking about Caleb. Her grades would sink. They are already nothing exceptional, or so she thinks. (The grades, of course. Caleb is mighty exceptional.) She almost blushes at herself, for coming up with this crap.

"What are you thinking about? Your blush would be visible from the top of the Hancock building." Willow asks and nudges her with a shit-eating grin. This is the first time she saw that expression on her. Or any Erudite.

Oh, so she _did_ blush out loud? Does that even make sense? She shakes her head to get out of the fuzz. It would be better to not tell her, or, one sloppy move and all of it would be fodder for the gossip vampires. The vampires that forage on the platform known as Quaestiones. Honestly, that app is a bloody soul-sucker. Anything, anything on it and it spreads faster than metastasised cancer. Wow, did she use a medical term?

"Oh, nothing." Rhiannon replies.

"That doesn't explain the blush, sister." She drawls like a Dauntless sleepy under alcohol. She points out her finger and drops her head.

"Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing." Maybe if she repeats the lie many times it would sound like the truth. She waves out her arms in circles and faux-runs around the dorm in circles.

"Stop it, now. I wouldn't want you inside a padded cell." Willow says.

Padded cells have been a running joke in Erudite for many years. No one ever saw one, but everyone says that they are near Jeanine's classified lab. The moms round here say that all the mad ones go there and are never to be seen again to their children. Another thing to make all of them like herded sheep.

"I should go to my parents now. I wouldn't want you to miss out on this precious day." Willow gives up on her attempts to extract the truth out of Rhiannon.

"Yeah" She says quietly.

She goes to the library for a quiet moment or two. It's her habit.

Caleb. The cause of that weird feeling lopes weirdly into the library. When did she become like this? She is plenty sure that she used to make perfect sense before initiation. Oh, must be the nerves.

…

An awesome goodbye later, she gets out of the library. The words are imprinted in her mind, it's so good. She wonders how he got the ability to come up with such good sign-offs.

As soon as she enters the hall, she is smothered by her mom and dad. Kisses are planted on her cheeks. All around there are similar scenes being enacted, with hair being ruffled and 'how is my son/daughter doing here'(s) being exchanged and mock punches, mock slaps thrown around and backs are pounded by brothers and sisters. Proud parents stand there with beaming smiles, the full intensity of it focused on their children.

"Hey, hey, overly enthusiastic, hyperactive, mom and dad, could we go to the apartment. I want to meet my brother." She is used to referring to Alev in cryptic terms, all in the name of peace and the greater good.

"Alright, mom." Her mom replies in a way too happy mood for a normal person. Although, her mom usually was pretty rambunctious.

Her mom leads the trio into their apartment.

…

_Meanwhile, in the apartment-_

Alev sits there, waiting for his dear sister. There is a knock on his door. He wonders which fool would bother him on a day which is practically a Sunday. He opens the door, without glancing through the peephole, an awful mistake.

"Good morning, Alev." Aster says.

"Good morning." He replies curtly and looks around at the living room which is a mess. Occupational hazard of having parents who tended to make a mess wherever they were. Nevertheless, he loved them dearly.

You never knew when a three-pin plug would land itself under your foot. Those must be the preferred torture methods of prisoners housed in Candor.

"Take a seat please." Her usually warm brown eyes are cold, clinical and mean business.

"No, I'd rather talk to you first."

"What is it this time?" He is tired of being shuttled from one person to another but he is careful to not sound too flippant. Erudite takes insubordination very seriously.

"It is about your sister." She replies. His heart grows an icicle right through the middle of it. Not again, not again, not when he can protect her. He has been doing his best but she needs to be careful. She was one of the main reasons he chose initiation duty.

"What about her?" Aster was one of the few who knew that both of them had blood relations.

"She is to be sent for scrutiny. Direct orders from Jeanine. She is to be scrutinised for simulation manipulation. I viewed her file myself; there is very minor manipulation involved. If she is too careless, she may end up with a deduction or something."

"A deduction of what?" Alev asks.

"Erudite have recently developed a procedure to…how shall I say it…to make someone _conform_ more…" She sounds unsure, deviating from her businesslike demeanour.

"I don't understand." He replies. This procedure sounds very scary.

"She will undergo an operation, not a physical removal of any part of her brain but she might undergo manipulations in her memories, her reactions to them, etc. basically her whole attitude will be shifted around…a bit…if she's lucky. I guess it's better than death." She replies.

"What?" He is horrified. What if she forgot him? What if she forgot their parents? What if she just wasn't the same? It would be no better than death.

"I know, it's horrible, but all of Erudite is practically Jeanine's subordinate. Don't worry, there's still the 'if' left for your sister. Tame that little rebel before she gets extinguished." Aster wasn't afraid to criticise but the last part was said with almost motherly worry.

"When will this probable 'lobotomy but not exactly a lobotomy' take place?" He gets a grip on himself. He is sure to throw extra venom into his words.

"I know that it will take place after the initiation. You know, the opportunity Jeanine gave to the initiates, the brilliant ones, is just another way to monitor them. Rhiannon's name is among the choices of Jeanine. She is performing very well, but she needs to be extra careful if she is inducted into that special little group. This group's actions will be monitored closely so that Jeanine can decide whom to perform the procedure on and whom to exterminate."

"Thank you." Alev says solemnly. He is thankful for the information, not for the ones who would probably get exterminated. Exterminated? It made them sound like insects, insects beneath the shoes of people.

"Well, I should get going now. Remember, there's an alcohol free party for all of us when this ends. I wouldn't want you getting drunk and embarrassing your little sister like last time." Aster replies with her usual smile and forces Alev to look at the bright side. There is a tiny hint of embarrassment and a tinier smile on his face.

Aster gets out of the house. The smile disappears like a wraith. Alev is a stone on the couch. A tear slips silently down his cheek.

…

"Hey brother! Did you miss me?" Rhiannon launches herself at Alev. He's gotta look happy for the sake of his little sister.

"Hey sister!" He wraps his arms tightly around his sister. His sister can already sense that something is wrong but is afraid to say it out in front of their parents.

"So, how did it go so far?" Her brother puts up a façade which only Rhiannon can see through. Part of the initiation instructor job requirement, she guesses.

 _Why is he like this even around us?_ She thinks.

"It went well so far." Rhiannon replies.

"Whom are you fooling? I am your initiation instructor." Alev says grimly, if she had failed. She mourns at the probability of joining the factionless.

"What happened, Alev?" Mom, Dad and Rhiannon ask at the same time.

"Can't believe you fell for it even after a year. Of course she's doing well." Alev reveals the joke and earns a (real) punch in the shoulder from Rhiannon.

"Ow, when did you get so strong?" He asks.

"This power is reserved only for my brother." She replies with a finger-gun aimed at Alev.

"Alright, alright, I surrender." She can still see the worry in his eyes.

…

They are left alone by their mom and dad for a while. She needs to interrogate her brother. When did they start hiding things from each other? She knows all the secrets of the mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma known as Alev White. She really feels sorry for the girls that fall in love with the 'tall, handsome and mysterious' image and fall at Alev's feet. So bad, Erudite girls act a lot dumber than they are, just for the boys.

"Hey, can you come to my room?" She asks him.

"Yeah, sure."

She leads him to her room. It is a mess as always, but she suspects that the mess inside Alev's mind might be a bigger mess than her room.

"Come on, spill. You thought I wouldn't notice." Better to go blunt with him.

"I am worried." He replies in a mournful voice.

"For what?"

"For you. When you were away in the main hall with mom and dad, Aster came over to talk about you."

"Don't spin this around please. Please tell me what got you so worried." She says.

"Aster said that she reviewed your initiation file and there were some problems on it." Her face gets a shocked look. This is way too similar to what happened two years ago.

"I know what you're thinking about, Rhiannon. Don't worry; there were some very minor discrepancies."

She takes a deep breath, then another, then another, then another, rapidly, till the point of hyperventilation. _Don't worry. It's all useless. You're all going to die anyway. Don't worry. The exact sentence which make makes one worry even more._

_You're all going to die._

_She's going to die._ The depressing train of thought is suddenly interrupted.

"Calm down, Rhian." Alev pats her shoulder and uses that rarely used nickname. She gets a hold on herself and dares to ask,

"What exactly were those discrepancies?" A creepily mechanical voice asks.

"Minor simulation manipulations. And a heads up for you, you're going to be in Jeanine's pool of brilliant initiates, which means, you've got to take every step carefully."

"What does it mean?" The news of being in Jeanine's pool of initiates is a bitter pill to swallow.

"Simulation manipulation involves making things appear out of nowhere, as in simulations. You see, to the normal mind, simulations are a picture of reality. They don't realise that they are in simulations, and in real life, you cannot make things appear out of nowhere. To the different minds, they realise that they are in simulations and therefore can bend it to their will. For example, if you have to fight a wild dog in your simulation, you can either run away from it or make use of whatever is around you. The different mind can make a .44 Magnum appear from nowhere, right into his/her hands." He says.

'Who is the different mind here?" All of it is so remote.

"They're… They're called… How shall I say it?... Even I don't know the exact name… But I can guess… I guess they're called… Divergent…" There. There, he said it, albeit very, very nervously.

"Calm down." She doesn't know whom this statement is directed to, Alev or herself. The name sounds so different. So non-conforming, so different, everything she thought she was until it wasn't allowed. All of her life came to this, the very real probability of dying, just for being different.

"What are the consequences of 'simulation manipulation'?"

"Aster said that the preferred method is death. It is usually concealed as a suicide attempt, but for people like you, whose discrepancies are pretty minor, there is a new method just out of the R&D block. It is known as Deduction."

"What is that?"

"Deduction is a mind-altering method used to make an individual conform more. Memories, situations, your response to them would be altered in an Erudite-specific manner. This process will be repeated as many times a required until you forget that non-conforming aspect of yourself."

"Then, suppose if this process would be performed on me, I would not be the same 'me' as I am now? What about you? What about mom and dad? Will they be able to handle that new 'me' that comes out of the factory?" She is on the brink of tears. A stray one leaps out of the corner of her eye.

"Don't cry, Rhiannon. Aster said it's better than death. I'll help you on how to get around the sims." He reaches out to hug her but she slaps his arms away.

"Why don't you understand, Alev? It's no better than death! It doesn't matter what Aster said!"She shouts and cries.

"Don't cry." Alev answers calmly, just like an Erudite.

_It all comes to her. Erudite is not better than anyone else in this city. Nobody is better than nobody else in this city. Nobody. They're all nobodies, robots, androids, in this ocean of blue._

_She always thought blue gave off a sense of calm. Calm, the colour blue, and all it represents, is nothing, nothing at all._

_Nobody and nothing. What a perfect pair._

She looks at Alev, who has nothing but worry and concern in his eyes. Both of them are afraid to breach the one topic that is so creepily near to what is being discussed. Their brother, who was a victim.

"Both of us know what the other is thinking, Rhiannon. I don't want you to end up like him."

"Why are you afraid to say his name?" She asks.

"I always believed names held a sense of power."

"I never knew you were superstitious."

"Only for you. I don't want to lose you."

"Alright. Now give me a big hug." She extends his arms toward him.

They hug, the silence conveying all that is unsaid to the other.

"Be safe." Alev pokes her cheek.

"Hey both of you, come into the dining room right now. Alev, you didn't allow us to even say a word to her. Honestly, I wonder what's cooking in both of your minds when you get together." Mom calls out to them.

"Coming, mom!"

The living room is so clean right now. The table is laid with their favourite food. The scene is purely domestic, ordinary, yet she finds it hard to partake in the spread before her.

…

The first knee-jerk response was leaving Erudite. Rationality took over and she thought that leaving wouldn't help. She needs to investigate; all she needs is a comrade and a starting point. And, she is not that stupid to go jumping straight into the factionless black hole.

Leaving would serve no purpose. Erudite would go on as it was, as it is and it probably would be even brutal than it is now.

Death, disguised as suicide attempts? That was subhuman. Knowledge can be scary sometimes. Really scary.

She goes out of the apartment and contemplates on who she can trust, on this matter.

Alev couldn't do anything that would threaten his job, and she wouldn't want him to lose his job.

Mom and Dad would also face the same choice.

Willow, not a chance.

The only name that comes to her mind is Caleb. He seemed like a trustworthy guy, but, sixteen years of life taught not to take things at face value.

Caleb seemed like the most correct person to trust, but trust is a two-way road. She needed to show that he could place trust in her as well.

She goes into the enormous scrap metal dump yard behind the automobile workshop. Caleb is there once again. There is definitely some great plan by some otherworldly entity to align their locations with respect to time always. So that his and her time-location graph always met, in the weirdest places possible.

Caleb is talking to someone, a Dauntless woman, dressed in faded black clothing. She must be his mother, but didn't Caleb say that he came from Abnegation. Who is this new character here?

Snooping is not a good thing, but things were needed to be done to get information.

_Oh bless me Lord, for I have sinned._

She hides behind the metal skeleton of an enormous refrigerator. The frame is rusted; surely the inside would be a breeding ground of rats.

No time to be picky. It's only a matter of time before the woman and Caleb turn to the right. They are in deep conversation.

She gets behind the refrigerator. There are a few really noticeable similarities in Caleb and the woman. The first among them are the piercing, vibrant green eyes. They are of the exact same shade. Although it is hard to know from this distance.

She hugs Caleb and plants a kiss on his cheek. All doubts are erased now. The woman is definitely his mother.

"Don't forget what I said, research into that. Dad loves you. Goodbye." A tear on her cheek catches the fading sunlight.

"Don't cry, Mom. I will come to you, when all of it ends." He hugs her for a last time.

…

 _Oh Caleb, what is this coming to? I hope I can trust you and you can trust me after this thing ends._ She thinks from behind the refrigerator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, there was a little monster known as mid term exams I had to fight. But can't blame every bit of the delay onto it. It was simply my own laziness, and a grandma of a writer's block. It took weeks of listening to Green Day and My Chemical Romance to get out of it. Anyway, has anyone heard the new Green Day album? I did just now, and the song in this chapter come from there. Honestly, it was a relief to the ears (including mine) which were bored out by Uno! Dos! and Tre! I didn't like that trilogy very much.
> 
> Hey you, yes, you, I sincerely wish that you have a good/awesome/nice/all other positive adjectives you can find, day, because everyone deserves a day like that.
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	17. Ladies And Gentlemen

Warning: Skip Rhiannon's POV if you are not comfortable with mentions of suicide.

**Ladies and gentlemen,**

**Truth** **is now acceptable**

**Fame is now injectable**

**Process the progress**

**This core is critical**

**Faith** **i** **s unavailable**

**Lives** **b** **ecome incredible now**

**Please understand that**

**Rhiannon's POV**

_Later… on Visiting Day…_

The room is completely dark, pieces of metal scattered all around. She is still too afraid to open _that_ cupboard, one which contains memories of her brother Nigel. If she opens that, she will believe that he is alive, only to be shattered by reality. The cupboard still has his violin; the same cupboard still has his notebook in which he wrote the notations of pieces he made up himself. She didn't dare put her fingerprints on both of them after his death.

She looks around her room but is not able to do so. If she turns on the light, everything will become real. She wants to see what her mind can make of the dark. Light numbs the senses, it shows you only what your eyes see, not what your mind does. Trusting the eyes too much is fatal.

The dark has such a deathly beautiful embrace, you can disappear in it and no one will know. You may be missed by the world for a minute, but the darkness becomes reality after you step into it.

_Is all of this worth it? What is my worth? What is worth exactly? What exactly do I believe in? What is belief exactly?_

She has contemplated it for so many times but has never been able to take the final step, the one stride that makes embracing the dark a final, universal truth.

_Where are you now? Will I be with you when I step into the dark?_

She gets up and walks into a shape. She gathers her courage and fumbles for the light switches, she is too afraid to switch it on.

_Gear up._

She switches the light on. The sculptures made by her are scattered around the room. She picks one of them and pulls the wires apart.

The next one is a humanoid; she rips its limbs off.

One by one she smashes those into the ground, all of her exploding in pure, violent, catharsis.

"WHERE ARE YOU NOW?" She shouts. Another sculpture finds itself defeated on the ground. There is a copy of the periodic table on the wall. She rips it off; science is nothing but harsh rules. Those harsh lines are life and death. She spent all of her life dying for answers. The ultimate answer is death.

"WHERE ARE YOU NOW? ANSWER…"

"ANSWER… _answer_ … please…" She crashes into the wall, tired of the world.

…

**Caleb's POV**

_The next day…_

"Don't worry, you'll be alright. You have to research into Serum D2 to stop this. Although I don't know what 'this' is. "

"Will you be okay?"

"It's not the question of being okay, it's the question of whether everyone is willing to fight for a cause or not. Okay is a state of being, one which makes us submissive and compliant."

"Yes mom."

"I wish your dad would have come, but he's acting…selfish now."

"Dad… selfish?"

"Don't question it, child. He will come to visit you the next time. Don't worry son, I'll come again when all of this ends."

These were the last words which my mom told me before she left, maybe never to be seen again. She was dressed in Dauntless clothes, I wonder how she got a hold of them, maybe from the factionless bin, maybe she was a Dauntless transfer to Abnegation.

The more I think about her, the more it makes sense. She was a bundle of energy, which got transferred to Beatrice.

I wonder when 'all of this' will end.

I reckon it's time to play my big move now. I need people in my team, and mom has given me a starting point to work upon. It's better to put all of the cards on the table. The team would include Tristan, Anahita, Rhiannon and I.

**I reckon it's time for war.**

"All the initiates are requested to assemble in the main hall." My old enemy, the speaker, fills the silence like an hourglass, the sand slowly trickling by, threatening to suffocate, if the silence isn't broken.

The initiates line up like mindless cows. We go into the main hall. Jeanine announces the names of the 'brilliant initiates'.

"The initiates who are privileged to benefit from the advanced program are-

1\. Fernando Jameson.

2\. Rhiannon White.

3\. Xander Hedge.

4\. Caleb Prior.

I request the named initiates to come up on the stage for a round of applause." Jeanine says.

My heart floats twice like helium in air and sinks once like mercury in water. I am so happy to find Rhiannon's and my name on the list but the other reaction's cause is quite obvious.

I can't help but feel that I don't deserve it.

We are pushed onto the podium. There are three other faces beside me, all the targets of ear- numbing and hand-reddening applause.

I look over to the people alongside me. The only new character here is this Fernando guy, who wears a thick pair of black-framed glasses, with dark hair that looks like it has never been run through with a comb. If the hair was white, he would look like Albert Einstein, one of those old-time geniuses. The guy that gave us the theory of relativity, although I couldn't figure that one out.

Xander has a characteristic copy-pasted sneer on his face. Nothing new.

I look over at Rhiannon, she is completely new. Her hair length differs from half an inch to an inch all over the place. She makes everything work on her. I didn't think I would find incredibly short hair beautiful on a girl. She is dressed in a shirt of the darkest blue, almost black. It is almost Abnegation-level baggy but looks fantastic on her. She looks like a soldier, out to blow your brains out with a laser gun. Totally dangerous.

"You are expected to report to Examination Room 1 after the assembly."

"Yes madam." All of us reply at once.

...

The Examination Room is almost empty with only one person, Aster standing there. I expected Jeanine to be there but she isn't.

"Initiates, I would like to assign a project to all of you. You are requested to make a case study on the population. It could be any kind of a demographic study but it must be supported with adequate facts and graphs."

"Any questions?" Aster says. Xander raises his hand. Oh no.

"Are we allowed to have research partners for this project?"

"Yes, I will assign those partners to you. You will be paired with Fernando Jameson, while Rhiannon White will be paired with Caleb Prior."

"Thank you." Xander says.

"Ready to do this, initiates? You've got a week to turn in your projects. Don't make Jeanine regret her choices."

"And something else I forgot. There are a few passes here which entitle you to issue books from the library, media archives, anything to help you in your research."

"What a perfect pair… The Stiff and the freak…" Xander whispers into my ears after Aster leaves. Well, he can go to hell for all I care.

We grab a pass each from the table in the centre of the room. It is of a shiny silver colour and marked with a black stripe. It proudly announces 'official apprentice' in jet-black for the entire world to see.

Oh? So, it's a special VIP ticket to almost everywhere in the compound?

I like it. (Insert evil maniac laugh.)

…

"Okay so what are your ideas for this project?" Rhiannon asks me.

"I guess we have to find a pool from which to gather data."

"Yeah, where would we get the pool from? I don't think anyone would be willing to become a temporary lab rat."

"Keep the volume down okay?" I need to remind her to censor her words.

"Would you like to go somewhere else?"

"Where?" Are there any new places left to find?

"Come with me."

"Okay."

She leads me outside, out of the main hall. She runs ahead of me in the vast empty piece of land, known as 'Millennium' to Erudite laypersons. Her mahogany hair flails around in the light and looks like strands of burnished, almost burnt gold.

The light makes everything looks so stunning, if only if it's the right kind.

"What are you staring at?"

"Nothing" _If only nothing included you but I'd be cruel if I did that._

She leads me to the forge and to the place behind it. It is so impossibly near to the point where Mom met me. Was she near me when Mom came to meet me? Did she eavesdrop?

The place is a freaking dump. It looks like an enormous rusted automaton puked its parts all over the area.

"So, what do you think about utilising this place for discussion?" She asks. I pinch my nose and attempt an impersonation of an eighteenth century Englishman.

"I wouldn't want to break thy heart but I think that I require a wooden peg for my nose, for this place is an assault to my olfactory bulb."

"Oh shut up, methinks that this place needs to be cleaned up. The waste of this enormous factory is an attack to my olfactory as well." She says.

"Okay, we need to get serious now. What do you suggest as a starting point?" I say.

"I think we need to make something radical, something to wake them up, something which highlights the problems of the population. We could make a report on the factionless, and before you question me, I do NOT believe that the Abnegation is involved in something shady with the factionless. What do you think?"

"The idea is very good, but I don't think you are trying to understand, Jeanine wants from us what _she_ wants to see. I think she wants every group to prove Erudite supremacy. I think we should make a pro-people report, but I think in a little subtle manner. Views that are too radical will land us in punishment."

"Why does everyone just not understand? I am tired of these threats of punishment! Why is everyone too busy trying to protect themselves? I thought you were different, but you are just like them! Just like…" she finds herself at a loss for words.

"Just like whom, huh? Stop overreacting. I don't disagree with you but we need subtlety." The tone of my voice is harsh like Abnegation soap which (probably) has a pH of 14. She walks away, away from me.

"Please don't run away… Please don't…" My pleas fall on deaf ears.

…

I sit on the lunch tables. My grades will go for a dive if she abandons the project. Well, I need to go over with the next part of my plan.

Well, it's time for the next part of the plan. I need to get to Tristan and Anahita. They sit on the other side of the hall. Rhiannon sits on the corner of the hall, beside another girl.

Ugh, Tristan is acting all mushy with Anahita. Their hands are linked; Tristan pushes his foot to bump it with her leg. I bet he already kissed her or something. They are in a public place after all. I brace myself for some hard core third-wheeling.

"Hey guys, I wonder if could sit here."

"Yeah sure, grab a seat." Anahita replies. She turns away from Tristan and looks at me, waiting for something.

"Wait for a second, I need another person." I walk over to Rhiannon's table.

"If you want to make it count, this is your only chance. Please come with me to that table." I whisper into her ear. She seems to consider it with a distant expression. It breaks my heart.

_Stop it, Caleb. You got to be professional now. You destroyed it._

She follows me, rather reluctantly. I don't blame her. The other girl at the table, beside Rhiannon looks incredulously at her. The look on her face screams a very harsh interrogation with Rhiannon on her agenda.

"Alright, where are you leading me to?" She asks.

"To a place where at least one of the three cares about the city. I think even you do. Please take a seat." I go to the table. Tristan and Anahita greet her.

"Alright people. I don't think she needs introduction." I point towards her.

"Now on to business. Before I say anything, I need a solemn promise that none of this transpires beyond us four people." Promises are useless, no one can be trusted.

"I promise." Rhiannon is the first to speak up.

"I promise, but what is this about?" Anahita asks.

"Even I promise, but what is this about?" Tristan asks.

"This place is unsafe to discuss this, so I advise all of you to finish your lunch and come with me."

All of us shovel our food down. We are finished in a matter of minutes.

"Finished now?" All of them nod. I lead them to the transfer dorm. The dump behind the forge is a better place but I am reluctant to take Tristan and Anahita there. I don't want them to discover it. It's a secret, between Rhiannon and me.

"You do know that the transfer dorm is practically illegal for me?" Rhiannon asks with a voice as distant as the stars.

"I know but I wouldn't want to be jumped by legacies who decided to skip lunch and hang out in the dorm." I say.

I go to my bed and grab my tablet from the bedside cabinet. The key was in my pocket. The tab has some pretty sensitive information.

"So, all of you, what do you think of Erudite? Say whatever you truly think. For example I think…" I fill in the blanks with whatever I think of Erudite and the city in general. I don't hesitate to add some curses in there for added effect. Everyone fills in what they think about it. If I take it to be true then pretty much all of them agree with my views. It's another benefit of including mostly transfers in my group. All of them have experienced different sides of the story.

Tristan even goes as far to quote "Erudite trains us like f-ing mind controlled zombies. I didn't know that I signed up for this s-." Dauntless, I guess.

Anahita is gentler but she agreed with what Tristan said. I don't need to know what Rhiannon said, I already know that. She phrases all of it in the exact same manner as Tristan but with euphemisms included.

"Okay, before you start thinking that I called all of you to just curse Erudite, you're wrong. We are here to do something."

"Before I show you anything, I want to inform that what we are doing involves a lot of risk, which includes prosecution by Erudite, torture or even death. If anyone wants to turn back, they are free to do so."

Fortunately, no one turned back. I knew that Tristan wouldn't turn back as soon as the word 'risk' was involved. Anahita was a little unsure but she didn't turn back as well. I was sure about Rhiannon, I think she or someone close to her was a victim. I could see vengeance burning in her eyes as soon as I opened this particular can of worms.

I must salute their courage. Every one of us really has a bone to pick with the city. Even if it costs us our own lives.

"I know for sure that most of the news the media house circulates is fake or blown out. I have proof."

I show them the reports; the media archive articles, everything else. I think that I blindly trust them. I even tell them about Serum D2. Well, risks need to be taken. Rhiannon looks at it with wide eyes. I guess she figured out what my 'history project' exactly was.

"Any questions/suggestions?"

"Yes, what exactly will we do?" Tristan asks.

"I think we need to gather more information. All of the nudging by Erudite is bound to come to a crescendo. I think we have only the end of initiation to figure out and stop whatever Erudite plans on doing. How much of an experience do both of you have in computer hacking?"

"A lot of it. I hacked into Dauntless's secret files. I know that what you are saying is correct. I think Jeanine plans to use the Dauntless in some way in her plan. We do see Max around Erudite a lot."

"What did you find after hacking into the Dauntless files?"

"Oh, nothing much, just some lists, names, plans, etc. Although I do think those plans, lists and names will be very important now. Anahita and I will do our best to dig into the Dauntless servers."

"Okay, so you focus on the Dauntless side of things but I need Anahita and you to dig into Erudite also. I have a doubt that only Jeanine knows about the full extent of the plan. I don't think Max knows about the complete plan."

"Okay." Both of them reply.

"What will I do?" Rhiannon asks.

"You and I will focus on the more physical part of things and Serum D2 as well. We need to snoop around the whole compound to get information. I hope both of us can come up with some weapons for self defence."

"Yes." Her eyes shine with the word 'weapons', although I have no idea how to make one. Biological weapons, sure, but how does someone construct a mechanical weapon?

"Is all of it clear?" I say.

"Yes."

"Remember what I said, nothing should transpire beyond the four of us."

"Okay." All of them head out of the dorm, except for Tristan.

"What are you hanging back for? Anahita's right there." I point forward. I can't help the note of bitterness crawling into my voice.

"I just wanted to talk to you. You rarely show your face around the dining hall anymore, even then you are staring off into God knows what…" He crosses his eyes and stares up at the ceiling. I crack a small smile at this goofball.

"Did anything get into your head after I finished this long lecture? No matter you pay so less attention to anything except Anahita." I say.

"Hey, don't feel sorry for me. I am glad that I didn't get into that tiny little group of special people. Though congratulations are in order for you." He extends his hands. I extend mine and he shakes my arm so hard that it seems like he wants to wrench it away from my elbow. He doesn't feel bad at all for not making it. He really seems happy for me. I regret it all the more for ignoring the both of them.

"And, special person, what did you learn today at Jeanine's special class?"

"Nothing, _Aster_ came to the class and assigned us a project on demographics. What did you do today?"

"We did some science experiments. Then I decided to play a prank. I made the whole lab smell like fart. I didn't get into any trouble for that. Everyone was left guessing who did it. Most of them thought it was Alev and he ran out of the dorm with a face _so_ red with anger and embarrassment. Imagine, that statue-like guy had such a red face that it looked like he contracted scarlet fever."

He smiles at himself with a really devilish smile at the accomplishment. So bad I wasn't there to see it. I laugh so hard that I am standing there with my hands across my stomach. Laughs are hard to come by and something to be cherished in Erudite.

"So bad I wasn't there to see it…"

"Yeah, it was very bad. Oh, I wanted to tell you one thing…" He goes all shy, shrinking violet kind. He even blushes and holds his hands behind his back. I didn't expect a Dauntless like that to have such a shy expression. I know immediately that this concerns Anahita.

"What?"

"I…I…did something…"

"Did what?"

"I…IkissedAnahitayesterdayalthoughshekissedmefirstandIpulledherbackin…"

"What did you say?"

"Oh, how do I say this? I kissed Anahita yesterday although she kissed me first and I pulled her back in." He says those words so shyly.

"I was right! Congratulations, dude!" I slap him on the back.

"What were you right about?"

"I thought to myself this very lunch time that the both of them are acting so mushy that they must have kissed already. Guess I was an expert on predictions…" I wriggle my eyebrows and give him a nudge.

"Oh stop that… Rhiannon seems like a really nice girl for you though…"He mirrors me and wriggles his eyebrows and gives me a nudge. Now it's my time to blush to the roots of my hair…

"Stop it, Tristan. We are friends." My heart breaks at 'friends'. It was completely my doing. I could have handled it properly. Now we would be more like business partners or something. Well, that's me for you. I set out to destroy anything even before it is properly constructed.

"Oh yeah, keep telling yourself that. You don't think I notice the way you look at her? Your eyes proclaim 'I wanna kiss you!' louder than your vocal chords ever could."

"Stop it! Now run away before I break your arm." I give him a death glare, the art of which I have perfected over many years.

"Yes, I'll go now." He visibly shudders under my death glare. It gives me a sick sense of satisfaction and makes me want to laugh in the evil-villain kind of way.

…

A hand shakes me awake at night. I wonder who it can be.

"Who are you?" I ask groggily.

"Hey, it's me, Tristan. I got something for you." I wake up and look at him

"Caleb, look what I found." He whispers it into my ears.

We are in the dorm; it's the middle of the night. I don't think anyone will be able to look over my head now.

I lead him outside taking precautionary measures.

"Crashing into Dauntless is way easier than expected. This list is just the tip of the iceberg." He says.

It is a list of names, many of them unfamiliar. I look at the first name on the list.

Beatrice Prior.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cymbals crash*
> 
> I was waiting so long for Tristan to have a moment. The last song was "Say Goodbye' by Green Day. It was off their album 'Revolution Radio'. This chapter turned out morbid, isn't it? I guess that is what happen when you overdose on My Chemical Romance. Do you know, Gerard Way had an obsession with death? Don't worry, I am not like this in real life. Do you know what I have an obsession with? It's ice-cream. Guess this song, it comes from My Chemical Romance, from their album Danger Days. (I am too lazy to type the full name of the album.)
> 
> Signing off, (I wouldn't bother you with any more of my gobbledygook.)
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	18. Got A Secret, Can You Keep It?

**Got a secret, can you keep it?**

**Swear this one you'll save**

**Better lock it, in your pocket,**

**Taking this one to the grave.**

**Rhiannon's POV**

What an exasperating little… never mind. The person in question walks like a cat towards wherever he goes after dropping a ton of bricks on peoples' heads.

Today was another lesson on not taking things at face value.

She was so sure that he was different from the others. Now, she is not so sure.

The plan he gave was a good one. She had to give him that. The plan was only half-formed, but he had some good ideas about it. The first starting point is Serum D2. She wasn't meant to look over the computer stuff. Most of it didn't make sense anyway.

She has no hope of mending it with Caleb. It has to be all professional now. She feels a little regretful.

…

"We have to decide which one we need to work. The demographics project is important but we need to do the thing I told you about." He whispers. Cryptic words again. She is so tired.

She and Caleb are sitting on a bench in Examination Room 1. There is at least 15 cm of space between them. They are allowed to go wherever they want, but with the aim of completing the work given. They are just left free here, with no supervisors.

The other pair also sits in this hall. There are sheets of paper spread around them, most of them empty and two are scribbled with something. Fernando rolls a torn fragment of a sheet into a spitball. He throws it at Caleb. He looks around at them with big eyes.

"Hey, sorry Caleb, I didn't mean to do that. Well, after I did that, would you like to join us?"

"Okay, so Rhiannon, would you like to join them?" Caleb asks. So nice of him, to think about her. It is a characteristic of Abnegation.

"Sure" Anything to get rid of this awkward feeling, but Xander is there. She thinks Caleb says it only to be polite. They shift to the chairs behind both of them and turn those chairs around to face them.

"Before we do anything, I would love to know your names from your own mouths. I'm tired of those announcers broadcast my name. It feels kind of correct that your own name is used the most by others. Mine is Fernando Jameson."

"I am Rhiannon White."

"I am Xander Hedge." He looks totally humbled today, almost like a normal person, not someone to run away from like the plague.

"I am Caleb Prior." Again, he waits for everyone to finish.

"Okay, so what do you plan to do on this project? Or is this confidential?" He raises a finger gun and narrows his eyes at the last sentence.

"To be honest, I haven't planned anything so far." Xander says. What came over him today?

…

"Off to serious business now. Where can we find about Serum D2?"

"I suggest the simulations and sera department; both of you have the unlimited access passes with us. I can try hacking into this department if you can get me the sources of all information, that is, the IP address of the main computer there. It would be better if you get me the addresses of all computers there." Tristan says.

"How do we do that? Pardon me, but I have zilch knowledge of computers." Rhiannon asks.

"There is a program I had in my mind for the extraction of source data, including IP addresses. I can get it on my tab, but I need a flash drive and a small keyboard to write the code. It is a pain typing things on the virtual keyboard."

"Okay, got that. I'll get you the keyboard and flash drive. How much time will you take to write the code?" Caleb says.

"I'll finish it in a few hours. Typing does not take much time but finding the errors does."

"Okay, I'll help you make the code. We'll get it done till the evening." Tristan says.

Caleb sets off to bring a flash drive and a keyboard. He leaves her alone in the company of two people she hardly knew.

"Okay, so you're Caleb's would-be girlfriend?" Anahita asks.

"No, not really." She answers.

"Oh, the denial gets you nowhere, darling."

"I am not denying anything,"

"Symptom one, of someone who has severe denial issues: The vehemence in denial gets stronger the more anyone else digs in more." Anahita says.

"I'm telling you, I am NOT denying anything."

"Come on, we won't tell anyone anything. Don't you feel a weird flutter when Caleb is around? I can see it in your eyes." Tristan jumps in.

"What do my eyes scream out?"

…

"Hey, I got the flash drive and the keyboard. Did you know, you get outrageous discounts if you show that silver card? The lady at the checkout was almost afraid of me; I thought she would refuse payment." Caleb says.

"Thanks, dude, we can get to work now."

"No problem." Both of them get out of the room with Anahita's fire-red curls bouncing along the way.

"We'll go to the simulation department tomorrow, when the program is developed. What do you suggest now?" Caleb's question is directed towards Rhiannon.

"I don't know, we could develop a weapon, like you said."

"Yes, I'm not sure about it now. I think I must have said that just to make the whole thing sound cooler." He has a sheepish expression on his face. She wants to make those eyes blow wide open or tightly closed, preferably by kissing him.

_Oh stupid stupid stupid. What are you thinking about? Were those words of Tristan and Anahita an aphrodisiac or something?_

She shakes her head. Nope, she has too much pride to make the first move. Doing it would be admitting defeat in the argument. He had to do that otherwise she could stay like that for a decade or more.

"Okay, but we could try something. Weapons that shoot projectiles like guns are too complicated for us. I could rig one but I don't know whether it would work or not. We could try something with electricity or chemicals. I don't know anything about biological weapons." She breaks the awkward silence which developed after she stared at his lips for too long.

"Even I don't. I don't think I could breed superbugs in a petri dish. We would need outrageous amounts of antibiotics and it would take many weeks to do that. Electric or chemical weapons sound like a good idea. What do you suggest?" He asks.

"There are two ideas in my head right now. The chemical weapons would aim to reduce visibility by stinging the eyes of victims while the electric one would immobilise the victim or victims by discharging a short pulse of high voltage. I think there are blueprints for them in the forge's blueprint library. The physical drawings would be impossible to get one's hands on but there is a digital version of them in the Erudite servers. My dad probably has access to those but I don't think he would be willing to give them. Ask your friend Tristan to dig them out."

"Okay. How much time would it take to develop them?"

"It depends. Most of the blueprints are very elaborate versions with so many bells and whistles. I would need to retrograde them first into stuff which can be mass produced quickly. It will take a week at the least. How many do you want?"

"Four electric guns as you call them and as many chemical bombs as possible. I'll help you make the chemical bombs."

"Okay, then. The flashbangs will take less time to develop, provided we get the chemicals quickly. Will those silver cards work if we want to take chemicals off the chemistry labs?" Rhiannon says.

"I think they will. How many chemistry labs are there in the compound?" He says.

"Four, I think so. There are four chem labs, four bio one and three physics ones, for different groups of people." She said.

"Okay, we need to space out the purchase of chemicals. We could get each ingredient from a different lab or get them indirectly, for example if you want sulphuric acid you could get plain sulphur powder and hydrogen peroxide, burn the sulphur, trap the gas in a tall glass cylinder and add the peroxide to it. It would be a pain but we don't want suspicions to arise."

"Thanks for the chemistry lesson, but I already knew that."

"I knew that you knew that. I wanted to talk about chemistry. And, what are flashbangs?"

"It was a name I came up with for the chemical bombs."

"Again, both of them need to dig it up. I'll tell them."

"No, I'll go and tell them. Any idea where they might be?" She needs to get out, away from her stupid thoughts.

"I think they are in the transfer dorm."

"Okay, I'll go and find them."

…

"What the hell is going on here?" Rhiannon screams and covers her eyes. Of course, she didn't find them in the transfer dorm; they were in an empty classroom. Tristan and Anahita are doing some rather hardcore kissing and whatever. Their tablets lie abandoned in a bench. The image would leave scars in her mind forever.

"Nothing." Both of them say and straighten their clothes.

"Can I open my eyes now? Are you presentable?" She says.

"Oh yeah." Both of them look like criminals caught red handed.

"What did we agree upon? That you would make the program which would extract source information and give it to us in the evening. And what do you do? It makes me fear that you will lose your… whatever."She begins with a firm reprimand but the last omitted word made her blush.

"Oh, she distracted me. We have done half the typing. We are on time with the deadline that was set." Tristan defends himself.

"Don't get so defensive. I think you should have closed the door. I have been scarred forever. Anyway, I needed something from you."

"What?"

"I need you to access the auto shop's blueprint libraries. I need blueprints of an electric stun gun and a chemical based visibility-reducing projectile."

"Whoa, I didn't understand half of what you said. What is a chemical visibility thing that you talked about?" Anahita asks.

"It is a chemical based projectile, when it is thrown, it will reduce visibility by stinging the eyes of the victims."

"I'll hack the library and you pick out the blueprints you like, but you'll need to be very fast. You need to get the thing done in five minutes or less if you do not want to leave any digital fingerprints." Anahita warns.

"If you leave them, the cleanup will be five levels of difficult." Tristan warns.

"Okay, I'll try to get them as soon as possible."

"Then, let me get started. You'll need to wait anywhere between forty five minutes to an hour. Show me the location of the blueprint libraries." She says.

"You'll need to go to the forge for this." Rhiannon says.

"Okay, take me there, then." She says.

…

They come back with the source information. It's a tough job logging into the auto shop's servers. Tristan comes and advises something that Rhiannon could make no sense of.

"I already knew that, damn it! You and your useless bits of advice!" Anahita shouts. Anyone would, if their concentration was broken with advice they already knew. She can understand her position. It is better to keep quiet when someone is working with the maniac speed that Anahita's working with. A brilliant idea seems to come to her, for her face lights up. She goes tap-tap-tap on the keyboard and the computer seems to be an official willing to do her under-the-cover job.

"It's done! I broke into the server!" Anahita punches a fist into the air and looks at Rhiannon solemnly.

"Make it really quick." She warns.

"Okay." Rhiannon has a look of intense concentration on her face.

"Turn on the stopwatch. Warn me when its 4 minutes, 30 seconds." She said.

"Yeah, now find the damn thing." Anahita is on the end of her nerves.

Rhiannon starts. The thing is too large to sort through. She puts some tags on the search bar and looks for the elusive documents.

The tags are too vague. Hundreds of results pop up. What did her dad say?

"The system is just like the scientific names used to label animals and plants with. There is a code for every print that comes into the library. Inventions are marked with codes which specify whether it is a robot, machine used for daily purposes or a weapon."

"It is marked with the Greek letter Rho (Ρ) if it's a robot, Delta (Δ) if it's a device, Sigma (Σ) if it's a weapon and Omega (Ω) if it's a creation of any other kind. The name is followed by the Latin name of the purpose of the invention. For example, devices dealing with fire are marked with the Latin name for fire, 'Ignis'. See, the genus name followed by the species name. After that it has the English name which the inventor decided to give." These words of her dad gave way to a light bulb moment.

"What's the Latin name for electricity and chemical?" She asks frantically.

"It is 'electrum' and 'chemicus', although there a lot of alternative verb forms to them." Anahita answers.

"Okay, got it." She types the words into the search filter and types the alt codes for the letter Sigma. Sometimes it was really a gift to memorise that long list of alt codes. It was the only computer related thing she had done to look cool in front of the other geeks.

There were only ten results to filter from now. No matter dad's general knowledge would come in so handy.

"Four minutes, thirty are up."

Ten results. How hard could they be to filter from? The first three were declared useless by her. Seven more to go.

The flashbang was found in the eighth result. She saved it quickly. Two more, out of which one would be the electric stun gun.

"Ten…nine…eight…" Anahita rang the warning bells. She found the stun gun. Saving it would take five seconds at least.

"Five...four…three…two…one." Anahita announces the time up.

"Done!" She screams at one and shuts the system off.

All of them breathe a collective sigh of relief. Even Tristan, who was nervously watching the entire scene unfold.

"Well done but why did you ask me the Latin names of lightning and electricity?"

"It is a code used to label the documents in the system." Better keep some knowledge to herself.

"I will never understand those. Engineering is not for me."

"Thank you so much. I'll use those docs to make prototypes of the weapons we'll use." Rhiannon says.

"Wow, just like a secret agent. I dreamt of having cool gadgets like those to fight the bad guys with." Tristan makes a finger gun, shoots it and pretends to blow the smoke off the gun.

…

"Did you find out any other information that helps us in our plan?" She asked Caleb.

"Actually, Tristan had come to me yesterday with some info. He hacked into the Dauntless database and came up with a list. He warned that it was only the tip of the iceberg. Let me show it to you."

The list that Caleb had with him was a simple checklist with the names of people on them.

"Who are these people?" She asked.

"They are initiates, Dauntless ones."

"How did you know that?"

"The first name on the list, Beatrice Prior, is my sister. She transferred to Dauntless this year." He said sadly and furiously. She guessed that his sister would be half of the cause for him fighting against Erudite's plans.

She knows that sorry is useless in situations like these. He would hate it if anyone offered a word in pity. The only thing they could do for his sister would be fighting for her and taking all of the people's names off the list.

"What does this list suggest, then? Are they targets, or simply the brilliant initiates from Dauntless?" She voices her doubt.

"I am hoping for the best but I think that these people are targets, people to be eliminated. The next words that I say are not to be repeated or used as blackmail." She is surprised that he is still willing to place trust upon her.

"I swear a solemn oath that these words will neither be repeated nor used as blackmail." She affirms his trust in her.

"I say this because I have begun to suspect that my sister is Divergent. I studied a lot on Divergence and I know that it is partly hereditary, especially among children who have parents of different Aptitudes. My mom was Dauntless; I am not sure about my father. They fell in love and either mom or both of my parents transferred to Abnegation and gave birth to me and my sister."

"Oh." It takes a while to digest the fact. She is so surprised at seeing him lay himself out bare for her to trample upon. She would never do that, not with him, not with anybody else. There are a lot of cases in the city like his family. Her mom was also an Amity transfer, but it was really absurd that a fierce, freedom loving Dauntless spirit like his mother would willingly join a conservative and restraining faction like Abnegation. It made her realise the power of love.

"Hard to swallow, isn't it? Don't worry, I have an even harder to swallow fact for you. The fact is, I don't even know my own birthday, nor does my sister." He tries to lighten the mood.

"What? Don't tell me you passed sixteen years of your life without celebrating a single birthday." She is completely shocked. How could you steal a precious moment, like a birthday, from a child? Abnegation parents should be really cruel to do that.

"Well, before you think my parents were cruel or something, I'll make it known that they are the most loving people on the earth. They were only bound by the rules that Abnegation made." He defends his parents, although they really didn't need defending. Anyone who met his mom would think that she was the kindest person in the city.

"Yeah, I'll hold you to that." She raises her hands in surrender.

She thought that it was her time to place herself open for him. It was the time to reveal her secrets to him.

It was her turn to bring out the skeletons in the closet.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something big is cooking. Oh, you're gonna hate me so much after this story ends. The chemical reaction that Caleb talks about goes somewhat like this,
> 
> S + O2 - SO2 (Sulphur Dioxide) (The oxidation is the burning of Sulphur)
> 
> And then,
> 
> SO2 + H2O2 (Hydrogen Peroxide) - H2SO4 (Sulphuric Acid)
> 
> I sound like your Chemistry teacher, don't I? And, superbugs are not mutant insects or anything. Superbugs are antibiotic-resistant microbes. Superbugs are made by gradually introducing small amounts of antibiotics into a bacterial culture so that the microbes become resistant to that particular strain of antibiotics. They prove to be effective biological weapons. Well, I think I even sound like your Biology teacher... :)
> 
> I have no idea how computer hacking works. The methods employed here are totally fictional. The naming system of the inventions is also completely made up, as I have something of a Greek and Latin obsession. The reference in the last chapter was 'Planetary (GO!)' by My Chemical Romance. Also, the song in this chapter is NOT a Green Day OR a My Chemical Romance OR a Fall Out Boy song. Even if you have guessed this one already, please, I don't know anything about Pretty Little Liars.
> 
> I would SO love to go to each one of you and know each one of you. My apologies if this sounds creepy.
> 
> But, since I cannot, have an awesome day :)
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	19. Cause She's 2000 Light Years Away

**Caleb's POV**

The mission today is to go to the sim room. I also need to help Rhiannon make the chemical bombs. What were they, right, flashbangs. It's a catchy name. It does sound that we are really up to something now. It is really valuable to bring those three into my group. Well, they are doing most of the work.

The flash drive with the program lies in my cabinet, inside the pocket of a hoodie. Tristan came by to drop it over yesterday.

I need to find the Rhiannon and go to the Simulations department today. Jeanine plans need to be known before we can come up with plans to counter her.

The key to my cabinet always lies inside one of my shoes. I wonder if I am going to have a key shaped depression on one of my feet permanently. I know, I should slice open the sole and slip the key inside but I am too lazy to do so.

We exchanged our contact numbers yesterday. I have Tristan, Anahita and Rhiannon's number stored in my tab and they have mine. The tabs have an ordinary function of text messaging, although voice transmission is not available yet. There are ancient mobile towers strewn around the city which are covered in a layer of rust and dust an inch deep. Restoring them would take a lot of time, years even. The city does not have enough money to do that.

I need to find her quickly. I set off from the Transfer dorm, intent on finding her. I quickly open the messaging app on my tab.

Caleb Prior: Hey, we have to go to the simulations dept. today.

I send this text to her. I know I'll be obsessively checking it for a reply. All of this is so new to me.

I see that Tristan is still sleeping. There is a dangerous looking spit bubble looming right over his face. I wonder when it will burst and his face will get messed up. Anahita would break up with him if she saw him sleeping like this.

There is still an hour to go before that blasted speaker blares with that disgusting alarm. The dorm is dark with all the windows and curtains pulled tight. I pull a pale blue curtain situated to the far side of the wall and I am startled by the bright light streaming in.

It takes a minute for my eyes to get adjusted. I look out of the window. The pane is entirely made of glass; I wonder how beautiful it would look when there's rain falling on it. The window points toward the Candor area. The enormous black and white building, topped with a metal set of uneven scales stands like a sentinel watching over the city.

The common area is bustling with life. There are children, dressed in all of the five colours going to school. I know if I follow the broad, curved road I would go right back to home in Abnegation. But I don't know if I want to.

The children are flanked by some stray members of the factionless. There is a clear divide between them, the children avoid them like the plague, except one little Abnegation girl, not more than ten, hands an old man a piece of food.

The scene is too painful to take in. I draw the curtain across and lie in my bed, reading an e-book on demographics. I know if we don't turn in the project in five days, we will be in a serious situation, but it doesn't mean I want to do it. Our plans seem far more interesting.

Then my tab dings with a message.

Rhiannon White: Okay, come to the forge after today's class. I'll be there.

The alarm rings with a distinctive shrill note. I'll never get used to it. I was always woken up by my mom every day.

I put together some ideas for my demographics project. I should have listened to her before dismissing her idea completely. This was the reason that made us fight. We should make a project on the Erudite population so as to not look extremely suspicious in their eyes. I know I may have already launched myself a few notches up on their hit list. I was an intelligent fool to have pulled that stunt with stealing the Erudite initiation record from Alev's office.

I steel myself up and go into Examination Hall 1, my home for the rest of initiation.

…

"What are you doing here?" I say to Rhiannon.

"What do you think, Sherlock?" She replies irritably, not looking at me.

"Nothing, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to the simulation department with me, to extract the source information." It's better to not irritate someone working so intently, like she is. She has photocopies of the blueprints, spread out on the table, which make no sense to me. I wonder why aren't blueprints blue?

The room, situated in a corner of the forge is completely cluttered with a huge collection of sculptures, made with pieces of junk metal. All of them have their unique beauty. I spy beautiful sculptures made with pieces of shattered glass, which are completely different from the ones made with computer motherboards and rusted pieces of steel.

This is my first time wandering so deep into the forge. I wonder who made these beautiful sculptures. Rhiannon works by herself on the table, not acknowledging my presence at all. I want to scare her by whispering into her ear but I think I will earn a stab in the neck with a screwdriver if I do that. I know I would absolutely deserve it, then.

"Do you want to come with me to the simulations department?"I ask her again.

"I have a lot of work here. I need to work overtime of you want the flashbangs and stun batons completed. Anyway, I have a big shopping list for you. It's to make the flashbangs. I want them by today." She hands me a long sheet of paper. I look at the sheet and my eyes blow wide. It goes somewhat like this-

1\. Potassium Nitrate (Saltpetre)

2\. Powdered sugar

3\. Measuring cylinder (A very accurate one)

4\. Gunpowder (If you don't get it, bring the following ingredients-)

a. Potassium Nitrate

b. Charcoal

c. Elemental sulphur powder

5\. Thin Cardboard (Lots of it)

6\. Four 9v batteries (If you don't get them, I'll find something in the forge.)

7\. A very big wooden or glass box that is airtight (It's to store the gunpowder so that it doesn't explode.)

8\. Elemental magnesium powder

9\. Four hollow plastic shafts, any kind. (Preferably one with a radius of at least 2 centimetres.)

I look at the detailed list. It sounds like my mom's notes she left on the dinner table when she was away from home for some reason. Her notes had similarly detailed information, like where to find the food, chores we had to do and what desserts would be handed out if we slack on the chores and a promise for a treat if we did them properly. It sounds like a bribe, even I thought so, so I usually refused the oatmeal cookie she gave for being a good boy. It brings a smile to my face for some reason.

"What are you smiling at?" She asks.

"Nothing." She would probably be offended if I say that she reminds me of my mom.

"You are so weird, anyway, who am I to judge? I have been known for laughing in my sleep, for god knows what reasons." She smiles that winning smile at me, her hazel eyes shining and her bangs falling onto her forehead. My guts travel into my skull and bunch up into tiny knots to fit in there.

"Really? If makes you uncomfortable, I would like to change the topic, who made these sculptures?" I ask nervously.

"I did." She says sadly. Her sad face hurts me more than the awkward face. Her eyes travel down.

"They are so beautiful." I try to sound in awe as much as possible. I know I tried too hard; my words came out as a whisper. To compensate, I rest my hand on her head, she's so small. Just like Beatrice. I want to mess her hair but I am worried that it will look too much like what a big brother would do.

"Now get your butt out of here and bring me all that I need. I remember you had to go to the simulations department as well. Let me work peacefully." Her voice takes on an abrasive and surprised tone. But it's undeniably cute. I dare not call her that, or she will freeze up again, like the last time I tried to impress her with my sheer awkwardness. That was the best entry for my personal 'wall of stupidity', and believe me, that wall is a kilometre long.

…

It's time for serious business now. I go to the second floor of the main building, where the media house and the Simulations and Sera department is located. I enter the wooden door marked with a chrome label which announces the Simulations department to the entire world.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The lady at the helpdesk says.

"I want to know about the different serums used in research." I flash the silver card at her. She complies immediately and lets me in.

"May I know what do you exactly want by accessing the serum data?" She asks.

"It's a simple project that I wanted to do." I reply.'

"Okay, you are allowed to access the main computer." She gives me another card, which is green.

"Plug that card into the metallic box beside the main computer. You will be allowed to access the computer for ten minutes. The computer is situated beyond the glass wall and beside the work tables." She says.

"Thank you."

I go beyond the glass wall and only now do I notice the people there. They are on big worktables, all of them in front of a computer screen. There is another glass wall, thicker than the last, inscribed with 'Simulation Testing Area. Approach with Caution' in dark blue enamel.

There is a person sitting on that chair, probably a factionless person (indicated by his mixed colour clothing), with electrodes plugged onto his head. Another person stands in front of him, recording the results on a tablet, which seems millennia ahead of my own humble device. A few Erudite are inside that room, surrounded by test tubes filled with clear and opaque liquids.

I find the main computer kept on an aisle in the middle of the worktables and the testing room. It occupies the wall completely. The juggernaut has a million other wires, ports, external hard disks and whatnot connected to it. I grip the flash drive in my pocket, feeling its metal coolness. It is only a couple of centimetres lengthwise. I think I could conceal it by hiding the ports on the CPU itself with my leg. That would be better. There are other male-female USB cable ports connected to it, but all of them are on the table. I only hope that the ports on the CPU are empty.

I sit on the chair facing the computer. The whole monster seems pretty intimidating, what with it announcing 'Password Key Required For Access, 10 Attempts Left Till Factory Reset' in bold green font across its monitor.

I don't need a password. I grab the green card the lady at the helpdesk gave me. I insert it into the strange contraption plugged into the machine. It is like a small version of the machine which is used when currency cards are swiped for paying the price of something. I check the CPU for empty USB ports. There is one, which is accessed after I pull a plastic panel down.

The device grants access as soon as I put the pass inside that card cuboid. I remember I have only ten minutes to complete the job.

I pull the panel down and plug the flash drive into the USB port. The program starts transferring into the computer immediately. It is a big one; it will take quite some time. I put my leg in front of the whole panel, covering it completely. It's not foolproof, but I have to be sure to not look extra suspicious.

I hide the window which shows the file transfer and open a random file from the archives, one on ordinary simulation serum. I am sure to not open Serum D2's file, because I am pretty sure that the file is highly classified and opening it could result in alarms, firewalls, etc.

I pretend to read the document on the serum. It is not interesting at all. It has a lot of technical terms, which make naught sense to me. I check the window discreetly, not even half of it is done, and four minutes are already over.

I hope that it will be transferred into the computer. A major mess-up is on the cards if it does not.

Finally it gets done, just before the ten minute mark. The 'Error- Timed Out' message arrives just after. I eject the flash drive and grab the green pass. I hand it over to the desk lady and am on my way out.

The whole thing makes me feel like a freaking secret agent.

…

The next thing to do is to dig the stuff that on Rhiannon's list. I know I need to go into the dump behind the forge. It disgusts me so much.

I need to get the chemicals first. I open the floor plans of Erudite on my tab and find the different locations of the Chemistry labs. Three of them are in the main building itself while one is in the misc. manufacturing unit. I think the manufacturing unit's lab will look less suspicious.

I am pretty sure that no one would be willing to hand over gunpowder to me. I think about my approach. The 'studious student' template has been used many times over. I need to act like a hyperactive kid who wants to blow stuff up. All for science!

The chemicals here are pretty dangerous. It would spell disaster if I mishandle them.

I make my way to the miscellaneous manufacturing compound. It is four floors high, with the chemistry lab on the topmost one.

…

"Oh, what do you mean? I need some Magnesium; I am doing a science experiment!"

"Mr. Prior, it is not advisable to put Magnesium powder in nitric acid. I can tell you the results of it, Magnesium will form Magnesium nitrate and the liberated hydrogen gas will make the whole area fire-prone." The person says.

"But I want to do it for science!" I sound like a petulant child.

"Are you sure that you will take the adequate precautions, 100 gram of magnesium is a lot for a simple science experiment. And why do you want a kilogram of saltpetre?" He says.

"I need that much of Magnesium for another project, and I want a bigger explosion!" I scream explosion like a child. It's pretty tiring speaking in that squeak.

"And, my mom has a big flower bed that she wants to fertilise." I am not even sure if saltpetre is used for treating soil, but with the looks of his face, it seems like I said the correct thing.

"Okay, you may take it, but remember that all of it is going into our records." He warns. I don't care about records. Let them put my name wherever they want to. That psycho kid demeanour is getting to my head. I decide to let that psycho rule for a while.

The inside of the lab is like a crazy scientist's shopping mall. There are glass jars full of chemicals, and they are marked with plastic labels with their chemical name and chemical formula.

I pick out the chemicals out with a tiny plastic spade which measures out ten grams. I put them into tiny plastic bags which hold fifty grams exactly. All of that information was handed out by the lab assistant who stands beside me. Who began his drone about lab precautions. I needed to look in character, so I cut him off whenever the word 'warning' or 'precaution' dropped from his mouth.

It is such a chore. I need ten shovelfuls of Magnesium powder, one hundred shovelfuls of saltpetre, five shovelfuls of Sulphur and so many other things.

When my arm is just about to drop from measuring shovel after shovel of chemicals and filling them into plastic bags, I finish.

"Thank you." I say after he finishes packing them up. (Securely, of course. You wouldn't want anything exploding.)

…

Getting powdered sugar from the café was a pretty easy thing. I tell that I am going to make a cupcake for my girlfriend. I didn't know middle aged ladies had an enormous part of their souls addicted to romance novels. The ladies wished me luck, even offered a printed recipe of a simple chocolate cake. They told me to slather the frosting thick to make the girl stay at my side always. That made me imagine bashfully what it would be like to bake cookies for Rhiannon, and getting my hair filled with flour in the process.

I should have done this earlier, when I was craving for an enormous tub of ice-cream.

I need to go to the dump now. It makes me cringe.

…

I hide the enormous shopping bag in my cabinet and lock it. Thank goodness that there's no one there.

I return after an hour post sunset. There is warm, dirty automobile juice running down, down my neck. My face and my shirt have at least ten grease stains. I would have loved to give you the details but I don't want to make you puke. Just think that the whole ordeal involved a mattress filled with maggots, some really big black mice, a huge rusty blade and four old PVC pipes of the perfect thickness, which rest in my hand and a thick bundle of relatively dry cardboard. I used that blade to hack off four half metre long pieces from a five metre long portion part of a much bigger assembly of them.

…

"Hey!" I shout, completely ignoring the fact that there's still some juice on my neck.

"What happened?" She is completely startled. I flash a smile which says 'hooray!' and 'sorry' at the same time.

"Can I ask why is old engine oil dripping from your neck and you have the general deportment of a triumphant gold digger?" She asks.

"I wanted to drop these PVC pipes and cardboard here. I have the rest of the supplies stowed away in my cabinet."

"Okay, keep these on my table. The next time, don't put supplies in your dorm cabinet; bring them here, where I have a broom closet at the back which no one uses." She replies.

"It is locked?"

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone that I stole the key from the help desk there. No one has noticed till now." We now have a hiding place where we can store anything.

"Okay." I say.

"Okay." She affirms.

We aren't making the flashbangs now. There is some pretty explosive stuff involved, like gunpowder and Magnesium. So, we do what we are experts in- fooling around.

…

"You look so handsome in these!" Rhiannon exclaims. She has put a pair of thick black glasses on my nose. "See!" She is a hyperexcited toddler by now, and hands me a rectangle of highly polished metal. I squint at the rectangle, I have 20/20 vision but the glasses are made for someone with not so perfect vision, like her.

I glance at my face in there. There is quite a lot of truth in Rhiannon's statement. I don't want to speak about myself but there is certainly a part which cannot help but look (stare) at the mirror.

I look like an intelligent person, one who has shed all resemblances of Abnegation life.

I look like an Erudite, in the flesh.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay? Okay. I think this reference is painfully obvious. The song in the last chapter was 'Secret' by the Pierces. That song gives me the creeps. 'Cause two can keep a secret when one of them is dead.' That line makes me expect a masked man with a knife behind my back. The reference in this chapter is a Green Day song from 1992. Well, should I make the both of them kiss? The answer is pretty obvious but I am in a dilemma. Obviously, I have never written kissing scenes before, so it's gonna be weird. Oh so weird. I only have imagined scenes like that, but with only Will and Nico. I read Trials Of Apollo, and damn those cliffhangers, Uncle Rick practically confirmed that they are together. *squeals internally so bad that it's above the hearing range of a human*. Oh man, I have so many gay ships, ranging from Will and Nico and Simon and ... (I'm not telling the name because it would spoil the story for you.) from Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda. But don't tell my mom.
> 
> Sneaky goodbyes,
> 
> TheVibrantNight


	20. They Say Home Is Where Your Heart Is

**They say home is where your heart is but what a shame**

**Cause everyone's heart doesn't beat the same**

** Caleb's POV **

Oh shit.

Tomorrow's the last day of submitting the demographics project. I think about the past few days I blew off completely, doing my research on Erudite.

I barely have anything resembling a project on my tab. I need to put it down by tomorrow.

…

"What do we do now?" I ask Rhiannon.

"All my earlier suggestions were rejected by you." She says coldly.

"Sorry, we don't have time to argue or decide anything. Just say whatever you want and I'll make it into a project." So we begin with me typing feverishly and she begins by saying stuff. We don't have time to do a survey so we filch some recent data from the digital library. Honestly, I think we even made up some figures. Who would see, anyway?

By the time we get up, my eyes are itching behind their glasses. I was about to take them off. They are for show anyway. But Rhiannon gives me one of her pouty faces and it is too hard to take them off. I bet those glasses are looking at her smugly and are glad for another day of sitting on my nose.

I rub my eyes behind the glasses. We go off our separate ways.

…

"I said I am looking for someone! He's an initiate." An innately familiar voice speaks out.

"Beatrice?"

I look over at her. Looking at her makes the two compartments of my mind blur together. Like I am not sure where one ends and the other one begins. Looking at her reminds that while I have changed, she has too. She holds herself like someone who makes the rules, rather than one who follows them.

She is dressed completely in black, her long blonde hair standing out in stark contrast. Her hands are covered in scars and she clearly notices that I am staring at her. The book in my hand threatens to fall and disturb the plastic peace of this place.

She throws her arms around me and I have no other choice than to wrap mine around her. She is the only feasible bit of family that I have now. But I don't know whether to call her my sister or not. We are like caterpillars that underwent metamorphosis.

Beatrice still _feels_ like home. Like stolen oatmeal cookies and whispered reprimands. Although her arms could probably break mine into microscopic fragments.

"You have a tattoo." It is the first thing my stupid brain could say. Why do I grab onto the facts first?

"And you have glasses." She sasses back. A calculative glance is aimed at me.

"Your vision is perfect, what are you doing?" I can't exactly say that a girl ( _I might or might not have a teeny-tiny crush on her_ ) has settled those glasses on top of my nose so I take the clumsy way out.

"Um... let's get out of here." As mentioned earlier, everything here is plastic. You can never be too careful about anything. She doesn't know whatever I say here will probably bite me in my ass later.

I run out of the building nervously. I lead her to the Millennium, over to that weird bean sculpture. I know I'm really crazy sometimes. Who wants to undergo a serious discussion while being constantly reminded of dinner?

"What are you doing here?" It's better to begin with the facts first. It makes you seem more in control, even when everything is hopelessly slipping away. Like Beatrice. Like this city.

"I wanted to go home, and you were the closest thing I could think of." What was she actually thinking? Oh right, The Dauntless do first, then they think later.

"Don't be so pleased to see me." She says. Wow, what did she even expect? She has a terrible understanding of cause and effect relations.

"Hey, I'm really pleased to see you okay? It's just that some things aren't allowed. There are rules." Yes, _that_ , is the darling-of-all-moms, responsible Caleb Prior taking over. When did the Dauntless even care about rules? I'm probably challenging her to gatecrash Jeanine Matthews' meetings.

"I don't care." That was the exact reaction I expected.

The next ten minutes are spent in making her see reason. I hate to admit, I would rather _not_ get in trouble with her faction. Those tattooed people could break my neck as easily as they lift a fifty pound dumbbell.

We walk around, trying to diffuse the air of tension that blue and black contrast brings. Everything was so much better when it was grey. I guess colours make you stand for something. They make you the way you are.

Time to divulge the truth.

"Something big is happening, Beatrice. Something is wrong. People seem shifty; they jump around, as if waiting for the pot to boil over. Jeanine gives speeches about how corrupt Abnegation is, almost every day."

"Do you believe her?" She asks.

"No, maybe I don't. I...don't even know what to believe." It's true. These past few weeks have done nothing but confuse me even more.

She puts her own spin to things. She seems to owe more allegiance to her old faction. I would advise her to keep an open mind. She believes that I am being manipulated. Well, she is seriously underestimating me.

"Yeah. How could I _possibly_ know what a corrupt faction looks like? I am just training to be a Dauntless, for God's sake. At least I know what I am a part of. _You_ are choosing to ignore what we've known our entire lives. These people are arrogant and greedy and they will lead you nowhere."

"I think you should go, Beatrice." My voice hardens invariably. Driving her out is much easier than driving the doubts out of my own mind.

"With pleasure. Oh, and not that it will matter to you but mom told me to tell you to research the simulation serum."

She cannot know that mom met me earlier. Though I cannot seem to conclude exactly why she would meet Beatrice and tell her to pass that information to me.

Now it's time to flip that switch again. Now it's time for me to slip into another version of myself, the one which I absolutely despise.

"You saw her? Why didn't she-?" My voice threatens to break and I am sickly amazed at how good of a liar I am. I lied to Beatrice, I lied to my family and I lied to my friends.

I think I lied to myself.

...

"Do you have any idea why my sister's name was on the top of that list we found in the Dauntless server?" Tristan looks over to me weirdly.

"You mean, Beatrice Prior is your sister?" He asks.

"I can not exactly blame myself if you have such a short memory. And she _is_ my sister." I kind of doubt that myself after seeing her today.

"No need of getting so snippy. I have no idea what that list is for. Maybe for the ones at the top, maybe the ones at the bottom, it could mean anything. Let me do my research." He goes out of the room, probably to bring Anahita along.

I glance at the list, copied down on a piece of paper. I thought it'd be safer this way; paper can be destroyed any time.

Beatrice's name is at the top of that list. The other names, Uriah Pedrad and another don't make any sense to me. Is Beatrice doing _that_ bad in her faction, to guarantee her name in that list?

_Don't get so paranoid. It's probably not that bad as you think._

...

Tristan comes back with Anahita, holding her hand. I honestly did not know when. I might have been staring into space for hours. _Uh, better switch to 'leader mode' now._

"Tristan, you have done well, I am not afraid to admit that I don't exactly know what the names in that list mean. I want the both of you to pinch whatever info you get on these initiates. Meanwhile, I will continue my research on Aptitude flexibility."

"Again? You mean I need to do this again? You don't know anything about the magnitude of risks involved." Tristan says.

"Don't you dare back out of this now; all of us are knee deep in this. All of us will go down together, if we are caught. I guarantee it." I assure him.

"I need your blood promise, brother." I completely ignore the fact that he called me brother.

"What is a blood promise?"

"It is the gravest of all oaths you can take. It is a Dauntless tradition. A blood promise is when two people collect blood on their hands and hold each other's hands, while speaking the words of the promise. It also signifies a bond of brotherhood or comradeship. And before you talk about sexism, girls also do this. A blood promise ceases only when one of the two dies." Tristan says gravely. I know immediately that a blood promise is not something to be taken lightly.

Tristan brings out a knife, probably stolen from somewhere. It must be a Dauntless thing, to always have some means of defence or protection on your person. He makes a small but deep puncture wound on the inside of his left forearm. He collects the dripping blood on his right hand. Anahita watches with wide and disgusted eyes. He passes the small silver and awfully sharp knife to me. I brace myself for bearing pain.

I stare at the silver knife, tainted with Tristan's blood. Then, a gross medical fact comes into my head.

_What if I get AIDS?_ Shit, health risks are not something to be played with.

I run to the sink and wash the blade, not caring for disrespect or anything. The blood on his hand is starting to thicken.

It hurts so much, but fighting pain with pain works. As I pierce my skin with the knife, I bite my lip as hard as I can. The blood collects in my right hand and he extends his hand to mine.

We hold each other's hands while Tristan announces the terms of this promise and asks me to repeat them. I can barely hide the disgust on my face.

He finally lets go of my hand and runs to the sink to disinfect them with antibacterial soap. The water runs pink in the basin. Only now do I notice that I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. The characteristic metallic taste pervades my mouth.

"You are officially my brother now. My mom said that people who share blood promises share a bond almost as deep as a real blood relation. You must be wondering why I did this, right?"

"Yes"

"Even I don't know why. Maybe I did this to reassure myself that all of us will be going down together. Lone wolves are appreciated in Dauntless, but the best people are the ones who can work in a team. Betrayal is not taken lightly, especially in war. And I know that we are getting unbelievably close to war."

"Thank you, brother." The word sounds foreign on my tongue. All my life I had a sister, one who is drifting farther away from me with every passing second.

But I cannot deny that it feels like family. Maybe I _can_ find a home here.

...

This research thing is really starting to get to my head now. I still don't know why this Aptitude flexibility or Divergence is such a big deal.

Serum D2 is a serum containing long range transmitters and receivers which can control and even manipulate the stimuli aimed a human brain. It is exactly like the serum they use in the aptitude tests, except it works over a longer distance.

Suddenly a piece clicks in my head. I skim through all the speeches and publications written after the election of Jeanine Matthews as Erudite representative. This is an old routine but I need to confirm what I think I had already known.

I think about Mom's warnings, how Abnegation is _preparing_ for the worse.

And I think I know why the long distance transmitters are required in this case, and Max's deep involvement with Jeanine.

Jeanine is planning war on Abnegation.

As soon as I think of this, I know that it is true.

...

"Rhian, we've got really bad news."

"What?" She is bewildered by my sudden declaration.

"We need to go to a safe place before I tell you." She fishes the storage closet key out of her jeans, grabs my wrist and leads me to the back of the automobile forge. I would have a raging shade of red on my cheeks if not for the awful situation hanging over me. I am thankful that no one is around.

"This is a safe place. Tell me now."

I tell her about Jeanine's sinister plans to burn Abnegation down to the ground. And I think she is going to mind-control the Dauntless into doing her evil bidding. I also tell her about the aptitude flexibility issue.

"I am not supposed to tell this to you, but I think you have earned my trust." She breaks the graveyard silence.

"The first fact, Alev is my brother. Second, I had lost a brother due to this very same 'aptitude flexibility'" Her voice cracks but she continues steadily a second later.

"After my brother died, Alev explained about Nigel to me. It was his second year as initiate instructor and risked a great deal by disclosing about aptitude flexibility to me." It takes a second to realise that Nigel must be the name of her deceased brother.

"The thing about aptitude flexibility is that it seems almost genetic, predominant in initiates who have parents transferred from different factions. My mother was an Amity transfer, while my father was a born Erudite. Alev suspects that I also might have a certain degree of aptitude flexibility, but not enough to put me on the radar or get me killed."

"And what are the people who have a flexible aptitude known as?" I ask but I think I already know the answer.

"The Divergent." The forbidden word slips past her lips like a curse. Rhiannon confirms what the factionless guy, Jordan McCullough had told me.

"And by any chance, was Nigel's death disguised as a suicide attempt?"

"H...how do you know? Her voice stutters.

"The suicide attempt was so convincing that everyone associated with our family believed that Nigel had committed suicide. It is a duty of every initiation instructor under Jeanine's rule that he or she must administer the poison to initiates who are confirmed divergent. But seeing as Alev and Nigel had blood relations, the job was assigned to someone else. Alev has been doing his research for a long time but he still doesn't know who killed Nigel."

"So, you mean to say that every initiation instructor needs to carry the taint of murder on their forehead, as duty?" I'm losing faith in the faction system with every passing day. Now I know which jobs to _not_ sign up for after initiation ends.

"Yes, they do. The sickest thing about his death was that the whole crime scene was dressed up. Nigel's body was hanged on the ceiling by a rope. The killer was very clever. He or she must have administered a sedative to him first, so he doesn't show signs of struggle, hung him up and gave the poison afterwards to either make it more painful or to completely eliminate the doubt whether he was dead or not." She says all of this without a hint of remorse, like stating a fact but I know that she does this to remove herself from the pain. It's a technique that all Abnegation use.

And now I know, how much of a curse divergence must be to her. She is stronger than me. I cannot even imagine losing Beatrice. I wrap one arm around her shoulder to offer comfort, but I know that she doesn't need it. She brushes my arm away and I feel a stab just behind my ribcage.

...

And now I know that I must know about my family's heritage if I want to find out why Beatrice's name was on the list. The city records are in the Abnegation offices and I am sure that they have genealogical records of every citizen. I need to call an emergency meeting.

We gather on one table during dinner. I tell everyone to bend down, as if we were sharing a dirty joke.

"Okay, who wants to plan a heist now?" Three hands rise.

...

"The Abnegation office is situated smack-dab in the middle of the Abnegation sector, right beside the hall where city council meetings are held." I show them the Abnegation map in my tab.

"Once you enter the office, look for any room which says 'genealogical'. I'm pretty sure there is a room like that. Most of Abnegation's data is stored in paper files. Grab the file which has 'Andrew Prior' on it. Remember to have a pair of gloves with you."

"And what if there isn't any room like that?"

"I guess it is a failed mission then." I'm not usually fatalistic like that, mind you.

"All houses in Abnegation look exactly the same. If you're lost in the residential segment, look for the house number on the front door. I'll come and find you. And, do wear whatever clothes you have which are closest to a shade of grey. "

"What about communication equipment?" Rhiannon asks. I resist the urge to face palm at my own reasoning. Of course, how will we go on a mission without comm. equipment?

"I do have a set of microphones in my parents' apartment, but I have two pairs of microphones and we'll need all of our 'phones to be connected to each other." Rhiannon says.

"Don't worry I'll fix it. Just bring a set of the smallest screwdrivers you have." Anahita replies. I'm getting more amazed by everyone every passing day. Even Tristan looks at her with (kind of) disbelief and adoration.

"What? You thought I was an airhead, huh? I know about music and audio equipment, since my mom works in the music department in Amity."

"You got it, Ana." Rhian says.

"But before you do this heist business, I need Caleb to steal four cups of good, strong, coffee." Tristan says.

...

"All set?" I ask.

"Affirmative" "Locked and loaded" "Positive" Come three replies.

We decide to go on the straight road running on the border of the common ground and the factionless sector, after the straight road we decide to take the curving road parallel to the marsh passing through the factionless sector, straight into Abnegation. Tristan had suggested following the public bus route and then continuing straight into Abnegation but then we would risk getting spotted by the Candor.

"Let's go then."

We clip our microphones, wear our gloves and follow the road. All of us have backpacks with a heavy book inside but no means of self defence, because the only available option was a fork or a butter knife. Stealing those off the dinner table would have been suspicious. The only choice would be to deal a blow on the head with the backpack.

We come to the broad, curving road which leads to Abnegation. I used to go to school by following this road. Although I am going home now. The road and the surrounding factionless encampment are in the same wrecked state that I remember so well. The road is littered with broken street lamps and the majority of it is pitch dark. We don't risk switching our flashlights on. The factionless can get vicious when they see unfamiliar people around.

And I speak from firsthand experience. I think about Visiting Day, when I had met Mom and Jordan and June a million years and a thousand months ago.

The road tired me out on the previous journey but the adrenaline in the air has sharpened my abilities. The road quickly passes by and we are near the grey houses.

The office is right in the centre of the Abnegation sector, beside the council meeting hall. There are many windows beside the main entrance but breaking and entering is not exactly my style. The main gate is unlocked, just as I expected. Typical of the Abnegation to not give a damn about security.

"Let me scout the location. Tristan, keep watch beside the main entrance. Anahita, I would advise that you stay with Tristan. Raise a warning in the microphones if you see anyone that would be a potential risk to the success of the mission. Rhiannon, come inside the building with me."

"Okay."

"Why did you bring me inside when there's two computer experts right outside the building?" She asks as we step inside the hallway of the bare building. There was no lock on the main gate but every room from here is locked.

"Because Abnegation pays more attention to physical security rather than digital security. The computers you'll find here are ancient. I know my way around these old computers. And I am guessing that you would know how to pick a lock?"

"Yeah, I do. But don't expect that I would pluck a hairpin from my head and jimmy the lock with that."

"So what will you use?"

"There is a reason why they don't show you the real deal in movies. You'll see for yourself soon." She switches her flashlight on.

We search the first floor, there is nothing interesting there. I have to bet everything on the second floor.

"Come on, let's go up."

The second floor is a mirror image of the first floor, the individual offices of each council member were on the left side on the first floor, and they are on the right side on the second floor. So, it means that we would have to follow the left wall to find the genealogy room.

Aha. Just what I was thinking. There _is_ a genealogical record room.

"Come here, Rhian. Here's the room."

"Move aside."

She brings a few tools out of her pack and gets to work. I know these locks are not very secure. In a few minutes the lock falls open with a _clink_.

I find the Andrew Prior file after a lot of searching. Who knew sifting through paper files would give you such a workout? I need to read this file but I am not sure whether I am ready for it or not. This file holds so many answers to a lot of questions, but I am afraid of knowing the answers.

Time is running out. I open the file and there it is, all the mysteries in my life revealed. I know my birthday and Beatrice's birthday. Andrew Prior was an Erudite transferred to Abnegation while Natalie Prior was a Dauntless transfer to Abnegation. The file also lists the names of my deceased paternal grandparents. Too bad, I would have loved to meet them. But my mom's information has a lot of fields missing. I wonder why it is so. There are no names of her parents, no siblings or other relatives. My dad seems to have no siblings, according to the file.

"Caleb, suspicious activity near the front gate. I would advise to get the hell out quickly." Tristan's voice breaks the silence of the room.

"Rhian, we've got to get out of here. Can you lock the door now?"

"It's going to make an awful amount of noise and I don't think it will work."

"Then we cannot risk it. I hope they do not run an investigation for breaking and entering. Let's go."

"Out of the window?"

"Yes, Tristan reported that the person was in front of the main gate."

Leap of faith now. I open the window and survey the drop. It's only a two floor jump but it can still break my shins if I'm not careful.

"Don't try to land on your feet, jump like a cat, on four limbs and roll on the ground as soon as you hit it." Rhian probably knows this but I'm babbling like an idiot.

"I'm jumping now." I leap off the windowsill. For a frightful millisecond I am in mid air. Then the ground rushes towards me and I land on my forearms and thighs. I roll on the ground to distribute the force.

Rhiannon is already on the ground. We don't have much time left.

"Let's run away!"

"The rendezvous point is the road just beside the meeting hall. The house number is... It is too risky for us to meet near the main gate." Tristan says in my earpiece.

"Affirmative" The house which he mentioned is not too far from where I am right now. But I risk looking at the main gate.

The main gate has two people near it. Both of them are council members I don't recognise.

The rendezvous point is near my old house. I cannot resist checking up on mom and dad just for one last time.

"Rhiannon, I'm going to my house, okay? Follow this road and you'll get to the rendezvous point. Tell Tristan that I'll meet him after ten to fifteen minutes. You can search for me if I don't come after twenty minutes. Alright?"

"Alright. Come back, okay?"

"I cannot promise that. Goodbye."

There is a detour which leads to my house, which Beatrice and I used when we played hide and seek. It passes my house and leads to Susan's house if I walk that dirt path a little further.

Everything looks the same way as I had left it before. The house is the same but the people that are living in it or used to live in it have changed completely. A silent tear slips down my cheek and I mourn for my old life here.

The lawn is neatly trimmed; the number plate still has the tarnish on its bronze. The creepers on the boundary wall are still there. I remember how Beatrice once fried an ant with a magnifying glass in the garden.

I walk inside the boundary wall and risk a glance at my old bedroom window. It is too dark to make anything out.

A hand clamps my arm. I am about to let out a scream when another hand clamps over my mouth. The person feels familiar for some reason.

"Who are you?" The voice asks.

"Father? Is that you?"

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, see who decided to get off her lazy ass (After god knows how many weeks) and upload another chapter?
> 
> It's me, of course. The last song was a Green Day song from their album Kerplunk!, 'Cause She's 2000 Light Years Away'. This one is also a Green Day song. (It's getting really, really predictable, right?)


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